Rubix Cube (Please Comment)

[D.Rose]

Really looking for some feedback on this one.


Rubix Cube

There are those who spin
There are those who turn
Few know the formula
The many, like children, and too eager to learn

If I could match up the yellow
Look to the sun and the light
Instead of being like a drunk fellow
Always looking to fight

If I could match up the blue
Let things roll off the shoulder
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much
When God sends down a boulder

If I could match up the red
Extinguish the fire
Because dynamite lies
At the end of the wire

If I could match up the green
Like I was planted yesterday
Be forever young
And never decay

If I could match up the orange
Lay a new focus on the table
Get farther than ever before
And cease to make myself unable

So much to match, so much to spin and turn
And since the formula is out of my grip
When I work on one side the rest will burn
But, I didn’t com ill-equip
Time after time I have gotten this tip
This tip that there is still one more side to write
The side of white

If I could match up the white
As long as I don’t cheat
I can see the light
And all sides will become complete

-D.R.

[Heathcliff]

Awesome. You couldn't half tell you were talking about a Rubix Cube, it could just as easily relate to anything, which is good.

I only solved the it for the first time a few days ago. If only it was that easy. Have you solved it? I started with the green and finished with the blue...

[paperleaves]

I like the fact that there was only a quiet comparison to the Rubix cube, it is subtle and clever. I do believe, though, that the lines "So much to match, so much to spin and turn
And since the formula is out of my grip
When I work on one side the rest will burn
But, I didn’t com ill-equip
Time after time I have gotten this tip
This tip that there is still one more side to write
The side of white"
are forced, and could be re-written so that they don't sound as such!

Thanks for sharing!

love
Kate

[Alexander III]

The comparison between solving the cube and balancing emotions and obstacles in life is very smoothly done yet it came out strong. A truly clever piece.