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Dark Muse
01-04-2010, 02:06 AM
The Girl and Her Name

She had a name like
some exotic far away
with syllables rolling off the tongue
which made you think
of sensual hip swaying,
suggestions of perfumed silk
and a dance in smokey dens,
you would believe the stars
lived within her eyes,
and her hair rolled in black
midnight.

But as the wind sighs
that was only a name,
a sound like a song,
and what the melody could
conjure up like a breath that
escapes, vanishing into space.

She was not her name,
and once the fixation
with her vowels began to fade
away, only she is left
within its place, a girl
who was not born upon a desert island
with eyes that never glimpsed the
cosmos.

But she could not be blamed
for never understanding how her name
became an entity beyond the reach
of her narrow grip.

Dinkleberry2010
01-04-2010, 02:40 PM
Your images continue to amaze me (where do they come from, damn it).
Why can't I evoke images half as good as yours?
I simply don't understand it.

Dark Muse
01-04-2010, 03:30 PM
haha thank you

JackieGinger
01-04-2010, 04:30 PM
Oh I adore the part where you say syllables rolling off the tongue
but I love the sound of it all in all!
And everything else about it...

Buh4Bee
01-04-2010, 09:30 PM
Damn, DM! The use of language is amazing. I was dancing as I was reading what you wrote. There is a comic edge to this poem as well. A real gem.

Dark Muse
01-04-2010, 09:59 PM
Thank you, yes, I agree that there is a touch of humur that can be found within.

Alexander III
01-05-2010, 01:10 PM
Absolutely beautiful imagery was evoked in this poem, I truly take my hat of to you sir :).

The last stanzas were particularly enthralling displaying how ones mind tends to render an earthly object eternal in our minds attributing to it everything that we see in beauty but which it does not posses.(Well thats what I understood from it at least pardon me if I am way of point)

Bar22do
01-06-2010, 07:05 AM
Ah, what a great swinging rhythm, cracked at the end, only to spice (or to sprinkle!) the whole poem! I love the delicacy of your imagery, and I wonder where SHE is!

Pendragon
01-07-2010, 10:51 AM
Wow! The poem leaves me speechless! You go, girl!

PrinceMyshkin
01-07-2010, 11:03 AM
Everything about this poem seems to me to do its job until:



She was not her name,
and once the fixation
with her vowels began to fade
away, only she is left
within its place, a girl
who was not born upon a desert island
with eyes that never glimpsed the
cosmos.

But she could not be blamed
for never understanding how her name
became an entity beyond the reach
of her narrow grip.

where doing its job ceases to be enough, and the poem SOARS!

Dark Muse
01-07-2010, 01:35 PM
Thank you!

firefangled
01-07-2010, 02:47 PM
Nice piece regarding what's in a name.