Promise

[hack]

I'll not hold up the Tuscan moon
and shine it in your eyes
or whisk us off to Rio
to sweeten up love's prize

If we could just be honest
I might know what to say
You'd not hang on the promise
of some Roman holiday

You feign and dance around me
like the last fight on the card
Nowhere is the answer to
where love must be this hard

If our love is but a hovel
big enough for two to share
throw some sticks onto this fire
help me warm this killing air

[PrinceMyshkin]

"this killing air" was such a shock after the seeming blitheness of this poem.

[~Sophia~]

Though I've never been a huge fan of rhyming poetry.... I dig this one Hack! Nicely done and Happy New Year!

[MorpheusSandman]

There's a real gravitas in the piece in how it expresses the generally unexpressed dynamics and games between lovers - like trying to untangle all of the facades to find something truthful - that's wonderfully contrasted by the "blitheness" (as Prince called it) of the rhyming verseness. Really nice.

[qimissung]

I love it, I do. I love the "seeming" blitheness, and the clues that allude to the reality of love, stripped to it's bare essentials, and the "killing air" that can exist, blithely, side by side, with a moon in Tuscany.

[Bar22do]

I love your poem, Hack, I love its delicate rhyme too. And the plea in the last stanza, both so powerful and so essential... thanks and a happy new year again to you!