2010

[Buh4Bee]

2010

The beauty without detached from the beauty within
Passages constricted, eye lids heavy, feet elevated, body swollen.
In this state one mourns the loss of the self
The small trinkets of vanity jingle heartily in her silliness

A pock-a-dotted tissue box
An ardent relief for head’s stuffiness
Clarity for a full breath
To blow the nose and even wipe the eyes
Deprived of another year’s life

The world inside is a mysterious current
That stops the woman’s cycle
Frozen in weariness
Impatient
From these tides, rhythms, and movements,
Which rotate around the vortex
Of the belly button

Will the silly trinkets be replaced by real love?
Is this possible that life could bare a being within
God or demon immortal
Cerebus’ companion
Or will he just be a boy with no name?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Yikes! What a spooky conclusion this comes to after the elegant lines preceding it - an ending somewhat reminiscent of Yeats' "The Second Coming".

If you don't already know that poem, it might be wise to Google something of Yeats' theosophic beliefs to make full sense of it - or Google "gyre"

[Buh4Bee]

Here is the poem you refer to:

William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

THE SECOND COMING

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

I can see the connection you make.

[Buh4Bee]

I looked up what you suggested, but I fail to see your point. Would you be so kind as to explain? I' m not a lit. major and have not study the subject in great detail.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Here is the poem you refer to:

William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

THE SECOND COMING

I can see the connection you make.

Yes, and didn't it thrill you, whether or not you understood some of the references Yeats makes, e.g. to the "gyre," a spiral that is growing away from the avatar that governs each period of 2,000 years, in this case Christ, whose influence grows feebler while the gyre grows further away and wider, while the spiral that is to govern the next 2,000 years is narrowing down to the moment when the next avatar will be manifest.

The recollection of that poem led me a little while ago to begin one



Turning and turning in my mind’s memory
is the opening of that magnificent poem
by Yeats. Was Yeats in a normal
frame of mind when he wrote that poem?
Or was a “normal frame of mind” for Yeats
what would be a burst
of urgent genius in your mind or mine?


but I don't know how or whether I will finish it.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I looked up what you suggested, but I fail to see your point. Would you be so kind as to explain? I' m not a lit. major and have not study the subject in great detail.

If what I posted just before you posted this does not answer your question, I will try again.

[Virgil]

Oh definitely has an echo of The Second Coming. I thought your poem was excellent until that last stanza. I need a couple of more reads of this to fully assess that ending. Let me come back to it Jersea.

[Buh4Bee]

All I am trying to say, is he going to be an angel or a demon or an average kid. I can see the connection between the gyre and my poem's second stanza literally, but nothing deeper or more complicated is meant. Like I said, I'm not a lit. major!

[Alexander III]

"Deprived of another year’s life"

I have fallen in love with this line

[Virgil]

I really like the poem. Allow me to suggest a restructuring of that last stanza Jersea. see if you like this better:


2010

The beauty without detached from the beauty within
Passages constricted, eye lids heavy, feet elevated, body swollen.
In this state one mourns the loss of the self
The small trinkets of vanity jingle heartily in her silliness

A pock-a-dotted tissue box
An ardent relief for head’s stuffiness
Clarity for a full breath
To blow the nose and even wipe the eyes
Deprived of another year’s life

The world inside is a mysterious current
That stops the woman’s cycle
Frozen in weariness
Impatient
From these tides, rhythms, and movements,
Which rotate around the vortex
Of the belly button

Is it possible that life could bare a being within
God or demon immortal
Or will he just be a boy with no name?

I think that keeps all your themes without the confusing tangents. Or perhaps you feel they are not tangents. Just my suggestion.

[Buh4Bee]

Prince-Thank you so much for all your suggestions. I have learned something new today. Your brilliant mind and positive comments are deeply appreciated.

Virgil- The rearrangement is exactly how I think I should rewrite it! Yes, you are right there are tangents and the poem needs them removed. Thank you very much for your help.

A3- I really like that line too! It shows how much I love life and have enjoyed my life so far. I'm glad the poetry moved you.

I am so grateful to all the responses, suggestions, time and help. This is what makes the form so fantastic.

[PrinceMyshkin]

All I am trying to say, is he going to be an angel or a demon or an average kid. I can see the connection between the gyre and my poem's second stanza literally, but nothing deeper or more complicated is meant. Like I said, I'm not a lit. major!

Lit. major is NOT the necessary requirement to have thoughts and a passion to express them. A difference between your conclusion and that of Yeats is that according to the theosophic beliefs he had the new 'Messiah' was likely to be the Anti-Christ, whereas you have your open-minded, possibly somewhat nervous, expectation.

Elsewhere, I wrote:



On that Day

On the very same day a child was born
who might have grown up
to be the Messiah
( for every child is potentially a saviour),

on that very same day
a man was killed
for no apparent reason.

A match was struck,
the flame shot up,
and the man was dead,

who might have been the one
to recognize and proclaim the Messiah.

[Buh4Bee]

I have blown my nose again and experienced clarity for about ten seconds, long enough to read your comment and process such in complete understanding. The AntiChrist... could it be possible? He kicks valiantly in the womb.

Charmed as ever, my dear Prince.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I have blown my nose again and experienced clarity for about ten seconds, long enough to read your comment and process such in complete understanding. The AntiChrist... could it be possible? He kicks valiantly in the womb.

Charmed as ever, my dear Prince.



A babe is being carried here,
right here in the Maternity Ward
at St. Lit-Online! It is to be
(as far as I know) our first-born
and we will be there with Jersea
and the other progenitor
to welcome him or her or
them into our busy, busy world!

[Dinkleberry2010]

Yeats refers to his poem The Second Coming in a couple of essays he wrote, and he states that he was not referring specifically to Christ or to the AntiChrist in the poem.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Yeats refers to his poem The Second Coming in a couple of essays he wrote, and he states that he was not referring specifically to Christ or to the AntiChrist in the poem.

But "the second coming" is widely understood by Christians http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Coming to signify the return of Christ to earth.

[~Sophia~]

Jersea! I felt exactly the same way in both my last trimesters! It all goes away on D Day! Happy New Year and happy new baby!

[MorpheusSandman]

Certainly a very intriguing piece, though I have nothing to add to the superb criticism already offered by Virgil and Prince. :)

[Father]

Your use of words is masterful.
And the continuity and structure of them creates such imagery and thoughts that I must say is sublime.
Kudos, this is excellent work!

[Buh4Bee]

That is a very high and kind compliment. I'm glad you liked the poem.

[Dinkleberry2010]

Yes, by all means, let's dismiss everything Yeats said or thought about his own poem that he created and composed; because after all it's only our thoughts that matter about his poem The Second Coming, isn't it. What Yeats thought about his own poem doesn't matter, does it. God, that attitude makes me sick.

In one of his essays Yeats discusses specifically the composition of The Second Coming. In the first draft of the poem, Yeats entitled it The Second Birth. In the second revision of the poem, he substituted The Second Coming for the Second Birth, because in his words: "The second coming refers to an approaching sinister force with a dangerous purpose."

Yeats makes it plain and clear in two of his essays that The Second Coming--in neither the content nor the title of the poem--refers specifically to Christ, the AntiChrist, to Christiianity in general, or to a two-thousand-year-messianic cycle. So let's stop all this nonsense about The Second Coming referring to Christ or the AntiChrist or to a two-thousand-year-messianic cycle, because if you read those essays by Yeats you will plainly see that he had something else in mind entirely.

[Dinkleberry2010]

jersea, in my opinion your poem 2010 is excellent. It has nothing to do with Christ or the AntiChrist, or a two-thousand-year-cycle, etc. That's all nonsense. It has everything to do with the present, with anixety, with wonder, with doubt, with joy and hope mingled with fear, with the wonderful but terrible reality that you are experiencing right now at this moment. That's what makes it excellent. To hell with a two-thousand-year-cycle--it means nothing. What you have composed and written means something, and that makes it valuable.

[ampoule]

Yes, her poem is most valuable, and yes, it is about her present, but she has given it to us and now we all may read it with our own histories, from our own perspectives. I am grateful to those more learned than I for sharing their knowledge of other poets and their poetry. I love the digging. I would love for people to dig through my poems and tell what, if anything, touches them personally.
My prayer for jersea is that her demon/angel can meld together to be a 'normal' person. Best wishes.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Yes, by all means, let's dismiss everything Yeats said or thought about his own poem that he created and composed; because after all it's only our thoughts that matter about his poem The Second Coming, isn't it. What Yeats thought about his own poem doesn't matter, does it. God, that attitude makes me sick.

In one of his essays Yeats discusses specifically the composition of The Second Coming. In the first draft of the poem, Yeats entitled it The Second Birth. In the second revision of the poem, he substituted The Second Coming for the Second Birth, because in his words: "The second coming refers to an approaching sinister force with a dangerous purpose."

Yeats makes it plain and clear in two of his essays that The Second Coming--in neither the content nor the title of the poem--refers specifically to Christ, the AntiChrist, to Christiianity in general, or to a two-thousand-year-messianic cycle. So let's stop all this nonsense about The Second Coming referring to Christ or the AntiChrist or to a two-thousand-year-messianic cycle, because if you read those essays by Yeats you will plainly see that he had something else in mind entirely.

Every poem or other work of art is a collaboration between the author's conscious and sub-conscious selves. It is indeed interesting to read that Yeats did NOT intend the references to Christ or the anti-Christ but once the poem is released to the public, it means what each and every reader makes of it individually. See Ampoule's response http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?p=824320#post824320 above.

But why the surly tone in this and other of your responses?

[Dinkleberry2010]

you started it prince and you know it, so don't come on like it's me that's starting something.

[Bar22do]

2010

The beauty without detached from the beauty within
Passages constricted, eye lids heavy, feet elevated, body swollen.
In this state one mourns the loss of the self
The small trinkets of vanity jingle heartily in her silliness

A pock-a-dotted tissue box
An ardent relief for head’s stuffiness
Clarity for a full breath
To blow the nose and even wipe the eyes
Deprived of another year’s life

The world inside is a mysterious current
That stops the woman’s cycle
Frozen in weariness
Impatient
From these tides, rhythms, and movements,
Which rotate around the vortex
Of the belly button

Will the silly trinkets be replaced by real love?
Is this possible that life could bare a being within
God or demon immortal
Cerebus’ companion
Or will he just be a boy with no name?

So, it's going to be a baby boy!, with no name till your real love pronounces one... like a blessing for it to become a kind man, your life's treasure and soon - one of us, he too a scent of harmonious future, say a tiny spark of the Messiah.... one day you will read your transparent beautiful poem to this Man, your son, and who knows, his kiss on your hand will reassure all that in your past was about him uncertain! I too am sending my best wishes and am looking forward to hearing the news!

[PrinceMyshkin]

So, it's going to be a baby boy!, with no name till your real love pronounces one... like a blessing for it to become a kind man, your life's treasure and soon - one of us, he too a scent of harmonious future, say a tiny spark of the Messiah.... one day you will read your transparent beautiful poem to this Man, your son, and who knows, his kiss on your hand will reassure all that in your past was about him uncertain! I too am sending my best wishes and am looking forward to hearing the news!

He indeed is already blessed with your early good wishes. And I rejoice along with you at the thought that his mother might one day recite this poem to him, maybe at least once before he becomes a man and then once again when he is fully equipped to appreciate it.

Would that each of our mothers or fathers had composed poems for us - and, who knows, maybe in some non-literate way, they did!

[Buh4Bee]

Thank you all so so very much. I have a small journal of poems I have written for him and I will give them to him when he grows up. I plan to keep adding to them as he grows.