She will not go into the night silently..

[Zach atteberry]

Fore this night, a howling curse
She will not go silently --
Death lays doormat at her heart,
At least she won't go violently.

Her pulse shakes the world,
With such agony --
This final hour of her life,
As she turns a thick ebony.

On her legs, last place to fall
The useless sound of crying --
The sting of fear,
In her brief time of dying.

She ask "why do people kill us?"
Remember me, you that has heart
God, turn me into the angel I want to be
Forget me not, even as I depart.

The terror is over,
Her spirit lingers guarding --
The isolated room,
Where life once stood.

-This was my poem over 2 kitten's that I was hand feeding all night, but one ended up not making it. <This is why backyard breeding should not be advocated>

Comment, on what you think of the poem!

[Dr Jekyll]

This poem very much reminds me of Thomas Dylan's "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night".

[Dinkleberry2010]

My god, what a poem! The fourth verse tore at me and made my heart wrench--literally.
Damn, but this is a good poem

[Zach atteberry]

I was once home cuddled in your arms
Where no one could induce me harm
Shy and knelt in acclaim --
With my home that has been reclaimed.

I now lay entangled in this cage
With much hate and rage
Who we depend on we must fear the most --
Perhaps when I scratched the couch, not the post.

If only I had a chance and were trained
Too far, too gone the past can't be regained...

So they gave me to the shelter and were glad
They kissed me farewell, what made me so bad?
As they leave, I heard them say "one more day"--
Do I get a second chance, Do I get to leave today?


What do you think-- also a question

Do my poems lack "meter"
Is that important?
If so, what can I do to increase my meters effect?

[Dinkleberry2010]

Zach, the dictionary definition of poetic meter is this: poetic measure; arrangement of words in regularly measured, patterned, or rhythmic lines or verses. I take this to mean that meter is generally the rhythm of the poem. (I know some may disagree with that, but that's the way I look at it.)

I've read three of your poems; you asked three questions: 1. Do my poems lack meter? The answer is no. Your poems contain meter, that is, rhythm.
2. Is that (that is--meter) important? Yes, it is important in poetry. Rhythm is key--especially in so-called free verse or free form poetry. 3. What can I do to increase my meter's effect? Now that is a hard question, and I don't think I can give you a satisfactory reply. It would be simple to say the way to increase your meter's effect is to increase or improve your rhythm. But how do you do that, you know? I can't tell you because I don't know. I think that rhythm is kind of an intutive internal thing. I think that when you compose a poem you have a sort of rhythm going internally, and I think the thing to do as far as lines go is to find that right "time" or word or sound to end the line with and then to go to the next line--that is, start another rhythmic line.

[hack]

Nice job Zach,
Meter means much less than passion.
Meter moves and changes, passion is an anchor.
Hack