Archetype

[SleepyWitch]

here's an old one that I posted in "write a really bad poem"


Archetype
the other day in another city
a guy passed me, blondish and tall,
radiating vague recognition,
protective and detachedly amused;
by his pants I knew he was American
although you are not.
I remembered your instant chilly devotion,
your distanced patience and I thought:
now that angels have had a go at my soul,
it’s time for a different kind of power;
but maybe he’s just some archetype
and you are him but I
am not me

[PrinceMyshkin]

I can see why this didn't fit in "write a really bad poem"

The switch here




by his pants I knew he was American
although you are not.

is ELECTRIC, and plunges us suddenly from an apparently dispassionate narrative into something so much more personal and laced with sadness.
And these lines

I thought:
now that angels have had a go at my soul,
it’s time for a different kind of power;
but maybe he’s just some archetype
and you are him but I
am not me

are thought-provoking, strong and bluntly lucid.

"now that angels have had a go at my soul"

Ouch!

[SleepyWitch]

thanks PM!
"ouch!" as in 'very bad' or as in 'scary'?

[PrinceMyshkin]

thanks PM!
"ouch!" as in 'very bad' or as in 'scary'?

"Ouch!" as when Oedipus becomes aware of his true relationship with Jocasta. "Ouch!" as when Lear holds the lifeless Cordelia in his arms and says:

Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,
Look there, look there!

persuading himself (but for how long?) that she is still alive.

[Bar22do]

here's an old one that I posted in "write a really bad poem"


Archetype
the other day in another city
a guy passed me, blondish and tall,
radiating vague recognition,
protective and detachedly amused;
by his pants I knew he was American
although you are not.
I remembered your instant chilly devotion,
your distanced patience and I thought:
now that angels have had a go at my soul,
it’s time for a different kind of power;
but maybe he’s just some archetype
and you are him but I
am not me

Not much to add (but full adherence) to what Prince wrote, plus what I have told about your first before... Laced IN lucid flow of air... great.