In Greenwood Cemetery

[Dinkleberry2010]

xxxxx

[hack]

?????

[Dinkleberry2010]

Greenwood Cemetery is a real place--it is in Clarksville, Tennessee--near Nashville. All the things--the objects I describe or mention in the poem--are there, they really exist--even the open deserted vault. So, in that sense, I didn't make up anything in the poem.

[Dinkleberry2010]

bump















.

[blank|verse]

Nicely expressed.

There's a nice balanced tone you achieve and sustain throughout the poem. It's enjoyable to read, and although it could have done with something more than just commentary, it's very well done all the same.

I was reminded of Thomas Hardy's 'Under the Greenwood Tree' by the title.

And thank you also for reminding me that I must re-read Thomas Gray's 'Elegy written in a country churchyard'... 'Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife' and all that - another Hardy link!

[cogs]

loved the 'city of the dead' image; also, 'in all its grave glory, in all its faded gray,/looking for all the world /like one of Lee's ancient grizzled veterans /who refuses to yield, or die,' that reminds me of the war because of the severity.

[Dinkleberry2010]

Thank you for reading it and for the comments

[MorpheusSandman]

I love the idea, I love the imagery and the language and there are definitely some great moments but I also think it becomes a bit too repetitive and stationary; long pieces have to have a feeling of movement even if that movement is slight. I also think there are some moments that feel too redundant. For instance, these lines:

"a violated tomb, a tourist site,
vacated by its inhabitant
who has gone,
God knows where."

seem to be little more than a restatement of what was more elegantly suggested before about them being ransacked by vandals. And while the 4th stanza seems to resonate/echo the first I'm not really sure its potent or necessary. I might suggest combing over it and removing some words or lines to tighten it up a bit.

[Dinkleberry2010]

thank you for your comments