When Death comes to my door

[changelingchild]

When Death comes to my door
I hope I will go quietly
What is screaming?
A cry for help
Am I foolish enough to believe
Someone can save me from death?
No
I hope I will go quietly
What is screaming?
An announcement
Here I am alive! Alive!
Am I foolish enough to believe
Someone can hear the dead when they pretend?
No
I hope I will go quietly
What is screaming?
A last attempt to leave some trace of my existence
Am I foolish enough to believe
Someone believes I was her? I was here? I breathed this air?
No
I will go quietly

[PrinceMyshkin]

How effectively you use the repeated lines, which seem to gain force each time they're reiterated. This appears to be one of your relatively few posts. I hope there will be more.

[Dinkleberry2010]

changeling child, any poem that has "death" in the title will immediately attract my attention and I will read it.

I am terrible at critiquing--especially poetry; all I will say about your poem is that it made me think and that is a good thing, and I also like the form.

[Alexander III]

Thank you for sharing, the poem realy awakened some slumbering emotions in me.

[tailor STATELY]

Your use of 'hope' evolves (as does your poem in general) into a poetic surety: "I will go quietly"; perhaps a resignation powered by faith, perhaps a resignation to the inevitable otherwise (though I hope not). Very powerful.

From my perspective the protagonist has a poetic heart who will need no screaming to declare his/her existence before mortal man; and will live on in the hearts of loved ones in this mortal vale... And beyond, what wonders might well we hope for !

[Father]

This speaks to me well.
Outstanding work.

[tamlynn]

Death is a scary thing to many of us. We want to fight it and run, but we know in the end we can't escape it, so we might as well tackle it head on as you've stated. You've articulated that very well in your poem. Excellent job.

[Pendragon]

I must admit that the judicious use of the repeated lines is what makes this poem for me!