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Captain_Kuchiki
12-21-2009, 12:29 PM
“Gone”

You could have.
You should have.
She was always there for you,
The one shining star in your life.
And what did you do?
You were afraid.
You couldn't handle it.
The pressure, the anxiety, the fear,
they got the best of you, took you over,
Pulled you away even as you realized your true intentions.

Now it's too late.
She's gone, the distance grows,
She turned back to give you one last smile before vanishing into the dark.
Where is she now? Somewhere you can never follow.
And where are you? Somewhere alone, when you shouldn't be.
Why did this have to happen?
Because you let it.
You lost, you succumbed, you gave in
You let this happen, she is gone forever,
your one true chance slipped away as you watched it happen.

Are you proud of yourself?
Are you ashamed?
Are you angry, bitter, distraught?
Do you clench your tremblings fists at your side
As your lip trembles and a tear slides down your cheek past teeth gritted in loss and pain?
You let this happen.
She is gone, and that is that.
You made this reality yourself.

Turn away, live in your shame,
Remember what you let happen.
You're by yourself, you'll always be like this,
because you let your chance get away.
A cold wind blows, ruffling your hair,
Whistling an empty tone through the vast gap between you and her
Your will and passion burns inside you, claws for its release
But it's too late, the chance is gone
And you're left with yourself.

cute angel
12-21-2009, 12:37 PM
Hello,

wow very nice piece ,full of bitterness and sorrow,you know what when I read it I just felt that it fits with the poem I wrote today" whispers of a lonely heart",eventhough,I wrote it with no story just a poem I think it works with that story.

Keep it up

PrinceMyshkin
12-21-2009, 12:53 PM
What I admire about this is ongoing the shift from short, self accusing lines to longer, defensive ones, as if you are indeed a divided soul.

Buh4Bee
12-21-2009, 02:55 PM
I sometimes forget to stick to the poetry when I respond. I like the dialogue of the poem and found it to be closer to a vent/rant. It still works as an honest poem.

So, if this poem is true and about you, remember how young you are and that there will be more ladies out there!!