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changelingchild
12-18-2009, 10:57 PM
Trapped
These bonds ensnare me
Twisted up in my identity
Can I leave them?
What am I without them?
They have dug into my skin
And grown there, entangling with my veins.
If I tear them out I will bleed,
But their thorns pierce me even now.
Would a swift end to self be better?
Or should I go little by little?
A death from blood loss and bitterness
Should I break the chains
And free myself from their insatiable grip,
Or should I let them pick my bones clean
With teeth sharp from their acid tongues?

Captain_Kuchiki
12-18-2009, 11:43 PM
I like how vivid and detailed this is, and how it gives a sense of urgency and dilemma.

Dinkleberry2010
12-19-2009, 02:33 PM
"these bonds ensnare me"
it would help if you suggested what these bonds are

Buh4Bee
12-19-2009, 02:35 PM
Sounds like whichever way you try to free yourself you die. Nice poem.

inbetween
12-26-2009, 06:09 PM
nice point

MorpheusSandman
12-26-2009, 06:51 PM
This is a really good idea that could use with some developing, but the metaphor is really potent; especially the development of how deep they're dug in to the point they either kill you slowly or quickly if you choose to free yourself. Nice, but I'd suggest working on it a bit.