starting again

[burntpunk]

yo,

after three years of writing. i've lost my entire writing portfolio. two novels. hundreds of pages of notes and conceptualisations. and lots of vomitings. and my hardrive is screwed, i don't want technical help, or preachings, about how i should have backed-up, the truth is that i was reliant on expression. my entire life history was written on paper, in a format somewhere between blogging and automatic writing, i was writing 10-20 pages a day of pure expression, stream-of-conscious, no emotion, no thought, no experience, no event, nothing escaped my vomiting. and now lost, i feel as if my life, my identity, my past, my creative soul has been destroyed.

how does one start afresh?

[DanielBenoit]

I know exactly how you feel. I've recently lost almost everything I had written. I suppose all one can do is accept the fact that it's gone and to begin again. I know it's extremely hard, but it's the only thing one can do.

[ShoutGrace]

I agree with the first respondent.

You may have wished not to be asked, but are you quite certain your hard drive is "screwed," burntpunk? There are very sophisticated commercial enterprises available, geared toward the recover of data off of conventionally unusable media. I would not at all be surprised if a mechanically failed hard drive could experience a %100 recovery if treated correctly.

Beyond that, if anyone else is interested, there are many cheap and easy ways to back up important data, ensuring availability. I can point some out, privately if necessary. At present I am a professional in the business of data protection and B.U.R.A in general (back up, recovery and archive).

As a side question, were you ever planning and going back and reading what you produced? Is that an activity you engaged in?

[The Rainmaker]

Consider what ShoutGrace said and try your best to recover your data.

Or, you can be sure that whatever you write now and onwards will be much better than what you lost. In terms of the quality of output at least. I have lost my writings a few times, its hard the first time, but eventually you learn to recall your early thoughts and say "That was ****! Thank god no one ever saw it."

[blazeofglory]

In the end we all have to lose everything, and you lost a little earlier. People lose lives; you lost just your writings, but the experiences or ideas maybe afresh if you again switch to writing from your current state. Writing is a great adventure on to itself and start writing more and more and you can tire by writing and this will turn out to be a fun later on. Write for your sake and for others, for it widens your world and you will kind of sharing what goes with you. Writing will establishes you and restore to you what you have lost and you will emerge all the stronger. Have faith in your writing.

[mal4mac]

i feel as if my life, my identity, my past, my creative soul has been destroyed.

I think the followers of Dr Ellis call that hyperbolic catastrophising - I suggest a course of REBT and a comprehensive reading of stoic philosophers.

[Dirtbag]

I figure one would just continue writing as he/she would normally do. Neurologically, nothing's changed. Your brain is still a writing brain. I assume that you wrote because writing motivated you to do so. It can be a little disheartening to lose your creations when you connect to them emotionally (ie being hopeful of their progression or success). But becoming emotionally attached to the existence of your writing is irrevelant to the origin of your motivation to write. You shouldn't be writing because you hope your story will turn out well or because you're proud of how well you write or whatever. Write because it's what you do... because it's what your mind does and you find gratification in that process. The outcome is far less important. It's merely a side effect.

[dfloyd]

When Thomas Carlyle was halfway through his momentous history, 'The French Revolution", he loaned his only handwritten copy to John Stuart Mills' wife. She stayed up half the night reading the manuscript, and left it on a table in the sitting room. The next morning, her maid, thinking the manuscript was trash, started the fireplace fire with it, burning all pages. When told of the catastrophe, Carlyle said, "It was written once; it can be written again."

[Pecksie]

I think I heard a story about Hemingway losing a novel because he (or his wife) left the suitcase containing the manuscript at a train station or inside a train carriage... I know you must be feeling awful, but in time you'll start to feel better, and the wish to write will come again. Here's hoping you can start afresh pretty soon!