A casual walk along a rugged cliff

[Bar22do]

A casual walk along a rugged cliff,
with blue and quiet sea beneath,
air so pure, brisk wind,
may incidentally inspire one
to dare to renounce,
at its edge,
the toccata of the rocks
to never ending fugue
of the white wild goose.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Marvellous restraint and spontaneity.

[Buh4Bee]

the rhythm of this line was off for me:

air so pure, brisk wind

The ending was very nice:
to never ending fugue
of the white wild goose.

I like the idea of falling into a never ending fugue. That's a great word to convey your final thought.

[Bar22do]

Thank you so much Prince and Jersea.
Jersea: the line "of rhythm" imposed itself as if on purpose, but I will meditate on your remark (for which I am grateful) and consider a better fitting option, it it comes.

[MGK]

A casual walk along a rugged cliff,
with blue and quiet sea beneath,

i love the slant rhyme used here. despite the kinetic imagery this strikes me as a very still poem, along the lines of what prince myshkin said.

[Buh4Bee]

Sometimes the line needs to be that way, b/c it is meant to cut into the reader. The atmosphere is cold by the sea. Maybe the line conveys that now that I think about it.

[Bar22do]

Jersea: yes, I think this is what it was, after reflection. Thanks.
MGK: thanks for your sensitive observation.

[firefangled]

Interesting and effective contrasts. I liked how the flow of this mirrored the elements of the scene it described. I also found it very interesting that there was one goose, something not often seen, since they mate for life and most often are seen in flocks.

[Bar22do]

Thank you Firefangled, you are right about the flocks of geese, but the white wild goose symbolises (in Celtic, but not only, tradition) the soul that mounts towards freedom... at the edge of a cliff, the opportunity is sort of inviting...

[hack]

"toccata of the rocks" Marvelous,
the sound, the beckoning touch.

[dibyendra]

I also liked the ending of this poem! The toccata of the rocks and never ending fugue of a wild goose is nice to imagine!



the toccata of the rocks
to never ending fugue
of the white wild goose.

Nice! :thumbs_up

[Bar22do]

Thank you hack and dibyendra! I 'heard' in mind the contrast between the lightness of the fugue and the rhythmic sounds of hard rocks (life in the body, life beyond the body)... I am grateful you felt the atmosphere..

[~Sophia~]

Along with everyone who has commented, I really like this poem and particularly the last few lines. If I were to sum it up one word I'd have to say it struck me as being "elegant".

[Bar22do]

Thank you, Sophia, for your "elegant" comment and appreciation - encouraging as always!