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MGK
12-03-2009, 10:43 PM
e.g.

meek pearls through blue gently drift
to find me and you amongst them in their midst;
the rising cacophony brings atremble your lips
as i stagger by the thought of what i have missed.

clad in a dress which your form suppress',
fantasy astoke by that which i can but guess;
a tantalizing prospect and most dire duress,
combined in a form which makes my head a mess.

Loneliness impersona discovered us there,
before giants reduced under suns simple glare.
but the sight of this, upon you was lost
and so skirted was the line that i should have crossed

dusk slowly crumbled in motion complete
my heart was yours and the sand was our seat.
you broke my fall, but just for a blink
through deepest of depths my thoughts now sink

so whisk, angel, fly now, be gone;
to pastures far greener than mine you belong.
take with you your scarab, that sweetener of dreams
and hope that its voice drowns out bloodwhite sugar screams.

paperleaves
12-04-2009, 12:39 PM
this is so elegant in a dark way :) i love it

drakemortuare13
12-04-2009, 12:42 PM
The ending really portrays the heartache felt. This sounds something like high-society literature. Nicely done.

MGK
12-05-2009, 02:15 PM
thank you for your comments!

this was written during a very intense dickinson phase, hence the heavy diction

however, do you think this poem is about a girl, or maybe something else?

dara.cv
12-06-2009, 01:01 PM
The meter is exceptionally held in this! I love it, a rhythm poem that captures my heart.

i hate to guess at poet's original expressions, but im going to attempt it- the ocean? :)

Bar22do
12-06-2009, 04:05 PM
A splendid wounded wild that you free...
So much breath in this poem, measure and -- all said it: elegance. Thanks!

Bar22do
12-06-2009, 04:06 PM
... I mean - bird? ...