PDA

View Full Version : Progreta



ForwardTwo
11-27-2009, 07:39 PM
I am writing this “story” in an attempt to visualize what I believe in a very vivid way. I will put everything in a wording that is not just lucid, but literal. This is what I believe to be our future, through my eyes. Hopefully this will inspire you to look into the future, and try to visualize what you think will happen.
Thank you.

The world has slowly began to rotate at a much slower pace over the past 60 years; as was announced in 3034, a day is now 27 hours long. With this, came a much slower time for orbit around the sun, our year, now 536 days long. You can say that we attributed to this change, our everlasting views of humanity slowly stunning the earth. War and industrialization led to what we have today. Led to a world that no longer is earth, nor is it even a planet. This is not earth, no, this is

PROGRETA
You see, humanity went into a downward spiral after the year 2054. The soviets had successfully colonized the moon long before the Americans had. With this, came heavy tension between countries which would soon stem into a second cold war. The soviets launched a full out economic revolution; the country literally did a back flip in a couple of days. What was once a country in full economic downturn became one of the most economical superpowers in the world. How it happened, we still don’t know. Historians argue that for years, the soviets had saved wealth for an emergency. Other historians say that the soviets had relationships with the Chinese and Indians, and had been lent money to turn America into a land of rubble. But you see, America wasn’t exactly in a depression. In fact, they had climbed the ladder in 2032 to become the world’s greatest superpower, with the annexation of the British Isles, and Great Britain itself. With this, the economy went into a full out explosion of wealth. Research and Development was immediately one of the highest tasks in the government of America.
So now, you had two super powers; each one, fighting for supremacy of the world. Now, as I had stated before, this wasn’t a hot war. People didn’t die, no one fired a single bullet; but, nations did fire shots of their own. It all started with the Soviet Union’s launch of a Nuclear Rocket Ship. The ship itself held a crew of 5 men, each one trained for 15 years on aeronautics. These men were geniuses in giant white space suits. The ship was able to travel to mars, complete an orbit, and travel back to earth in little under 2 months; a record in space travel. The U.S fired back on all cylinders, creating the world’s first cold fusion reactor in 2158; power, with no limits.
What followed in the next 200 years was one of the most ambitious human renaissances, where our quest for knowledge was not just fueled by questions, but rather, by answers. Each answer brought upon another thought, another idea. Each one linking humanity together even more; machines that were once thought to be impossible, were now something less than improbable. But in this renaissance, something was born; something that was invisible to everyone except the Russians. In the year 2262 the soviets began research into cold fusion weapon systems, what was born from this was something that even today seems inhuman.

The concept was simple: A bomb that used cold fusion to allow a much greater blast radius, and a much better chance at leveling the opposition. This concept was birthed into research, funded by everything the soviets had. The research was standard research; study, attempt, watch, rinse, repeat; but from within this pattern, something was discovered. The scientists labeled it as “LMPI” It was later named to something more suiting: “KILLS”, Kinetic Ionization Low Loss System. It did just as it said, Ionized the air around you, taking anything with an atom, and literally turning it into quantum dust. This obviously, was developed into the bomb itself. But see, the soviets didn’t stop there. They were intelligent now, they didn’t publish this research. They kept it low, and developed further. Across the globe, reports of large scale ISML (Inter-Stellar-Missile-Launches) were cropping up over Russia. Immediately, the U.S. had reconnaissance satellites scanning the galaxy, taking any odd signals and reporting them back to base. At first, they couldn’t find anything.
Then, they passed behind Jupiter.
What they saw, horrified them; thousands of large pillar like objects all emanating fantastic amounts of radiation; each one, with the USSR seal on them, a colossus in the vastness of the universe staring right back at earth through the glaze of Jupiter. The U.S. discovered what would soon be the downfall of half the earth, the soviets’ secret weapon: The HFIC, High Frequency Ionization Cannon. From across the galaxy, the soviets could lay waste to any nation on Earth.




So.... Should I continue writing it? I think it's coming along rather well. Any ideas?

I hope you enjoyed it so far... I'm just trying to decide whether or not to continue.

VadimP
11-28-2009, 11:53 AM
Sorry, but the story seems rather meaningless to me: the USSR is gone. The new Russia is not an angel, but it is something totally different from the old USSR. I bet that Russian's reading your story (and there is a sizable Russian minority in US nowadays) will be quite offended by the generations-old stereotypes.

Speaking of colonization of the Moon, I would suggest some kind of scenario similar to the Columbus's discovery of America: the new country, Moomerica, becomes a superpower (possibly trumping on the way any indigenous population), and threatens to exterminate any country/planet that defies Moomerican values...
I agree that this is exaggerated, but more in the spirit of our times.

giventofly
11-30-2009, 11:34 PM
I too, kind of think this is rather unrealistic and sterotypical making the antagonist the USSR. I think it would lend the theory more creadence if it were the Chinese that developed this technology. It plays more into our current state of reality. Saying that any nation can go from broke to wealthy overnight is just not possible. Especially if it is based on a "secret" technology. Unfortunately, it would be damn near impossible to keep anything that big a secret in a globalized society like we have. Obviously, an economy can go broke overnight, but it doesn't really work the other way around. And the idea of being able to destroy any nation anytime it is desired, is not really futuristic... It's pretty much the reality of any nuclear superpower today. Having it occurr from space doesn't really change anything.
That being said, I'm not discouraging you from continuing this story. But I do wonder where it goes from here. And the style you are adopting at this point can only be continued for so long. It's more of a "setup" at this point that could lead into a story, but you're not really showing the development of the story, you're just setting it up in broad terms. Think about it in terms of the "In a galaxy far, far away..." in Star Wars. It's the setup, not the story. That's what you have here... not the story of Luke, Han, Lea etc.
Truth be told, I'm not much of a fan of sci-fi, so keep that in mind. These are just my opinions as a non-fan of the genre, so take them for what they're worth. Good Luck!

1n50mn14
12-04-2009, 05:22 PM
Show, don't tell. I don't really care if you stereotype the USSR... a lot of sci-fi does, and it doesn't insult me personally, so if you can make a good story out of it, go for it. But this is reading like an introduction, not a story. Again, show, don't tell.