And

[TheFifthElement]

We’re lying in the long grass
and you say something about the sanctity of freedom,
the oneness of existence, the self drifting
alone on an overcrowded sea

and I say nothing

and meanwhile our fingers are knotted
like a muscle, inseparable, flesh from flesh
and you lean over
and whisper to me
something about the planets, the milky way,
the great burning star that is the sun

and I say oh

and meanwhile the tiny hairs on your face
are touching the tiny hairs on my face

and your mouth is touching my mouth
as you say something
about the violence of evolution,
atom splitting atom, cell splitting cell,
about life emerging stronger in the wake of destruction

and meanwhile your skin is chafing my skin,
your deft tongue carefully probing, examining,
and I say yes.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Extraordinary, both for the delicacy of its unfolding and the visceral passion of it.

The final "Yes" is likely to evoke the "'Yes," I said" of Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Ulysses, but has its own quiet but forceful power here.

[Virgil]

Oh my God Fifth!!! This is your best poem ever. Fantastic!!!!!!!!! I wish i had written this, and I don't think I've ever said that.

[paperleaves]

I agree with the previous comments, I find myself hunched over my laptop in a catatonic haze of both envy and reverence for this remarkable poem....
I also wish that I had written it! so that I could receive the glorious praise that is about to befall you for writing such an intricately beautiful poem.


in kindness
kate

[firefangled]

To borrow from Thomas Hardy, and this will go onward the same though galaxies pass.

I enjoyed this Fifth. Iepecially liked:


and meanwhile our fingers are knotted
like a muscle, inseparable, flesh from flesh
and you lean over
and whisper to me
something about the planets, the milky way,
the great burning star that is the sun

[qimissung]

Oh, yes, Fifth, this is one for the ages. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...

[Sampson]

In many senses I would consider this a perfect poem! From simply the layout on the screen to the way your vocabulary not only creates images but provokes a thoughtfulness, this poem is spot on. I'm blown away...

[~Sophia~]

Fantastic Fifth! Just fantastic!

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks Sophia, Sampson, Qimi, Firefangled, paperleaves, Virgil and Prince Myshkin. High praise indeed; I'm humbled by your comments :)

PrinceMyshkin, I've never read Ulysses but perhaps I will now. Thanks.