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Il Penseroso
11-21-2009, 03:39 AM
Thanks for commenting. Removed by author.
Il Penseroso
11-21-2009, 06:05 PM
The title is "Nest"
Silas Thorne
11-22-2009, 11:14 PM
Wow! I'm not sure what interpretation to make from this, since each time I read the poem I get a new perspective on what it means to me. Maybe I'm 'touristing perspectives'. Anyway, excuse my ignorance, but I really wanted to comment on this wonderful and mysterious poem.
I've read the poem over and over, and I love the language you've used through the whole of it. Some of the lines really struck me:
'a blackened stick outthrust from
names. Veins that curve like a
shattered vase without a newer game.'
Just incredible use of language!
and those last two lines, terrific!
I've only just touched the surface, but I will come back to this poem again and again. It is a mystery I want to delve further into. Thank you for sharing this, and sorry I cannot grasp what you've intended. I perhaps glance too much at the surface of things, and find it difficult to get deep into them.
Il Penseroso
11-24-2009, 12:45 AM
Thanks Silas.
I don't profess to be entirely clear on the meaning myself, though there are a few intended thematic concerns (mostly obvious).
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Also, I changed the last two lines and a few more things. Hope you don't disprove. :)
Il Penseroso
11-29-2009, 03:01 AM
Last edit I think.
Bar22do
11-29-2009, 06:58 AM
Oh my God! this is so vivid and so final - the lines:
"sand numbered
in seconds quivering
toward nil."
are exquisite...
Your poem shook me so deeply that it pains... a disaster took place somewhere inside me... your language is splendid and dense and I almost hear the shout (and see "The Shout"), it too in ashes...
I hesitate to say 'thank you', but am astounded --
qimissung
11-29-2009, 09:10 PM
Yes, the images are powerful...I especially love "scattered nerves and abstract napes...", the whole second stanze and of course, the last two lines.
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