Log in

View Full Version : transparent



cogs
11-17-2009, 09:42 PM
negligent guards
watching without
your battle scars
forming within
though handicapped
you tripped along
no one to care
bitterness took
sarcasm shot
into your veins
so you struck back
in other ways

i see your sweet smile
and humorous sentiments
your great imagination
and modest true beauty
under your firm facade
i see the real you
what's more i'm aware
of what you may be
finally you may hide
whenever i'm encroaching

but you may find
someone to love

Dark Muse
11-17-2009, 11:28 PM
I really liked this, it was quite powerfully said, it packed a lot of punch.

cogs
11-17-2009, 11:40 PM
thank you.

Sampson
11-18-2009, 02:05 PM
this has an awesome pace to it man! and the layout on the page really emphasises that pace... its wicked

Delta40
11-20-2009, 05:25 AM
I like the veneer of transparency in the sense that she is like an open book to you - who subtley reads between her lines. It competes with the notion of transparency and I find it compelling.