The Bridge Came Down

[PrinceMyshkin]

The bridge came down,
the house fell,
and the soldiers marched in formation.

The tourists came
amid rumours of war.
The price of everything went up
but the soldiers continued to march in formation.

The enemy came,
even more rapine than advertised,

and the soldiers fell out of formation.

[AuntShecky]

The repeated lines in this piece remind me of marching feet. Is there a specific historical event to which it alludes? If so, please enlighten me, as I had a habit of napping in history class.

[Virgil]

Smashing good! I just love this. It falls perfectly out of rhythm with these lines:

The enemy came,
even more rapine than advertised,
But that is perfect for the lines. Don't change it, the falling out of rhythm adds content to it.

[indydavid]

Bravo! The marching cadence is so powerful!

[blazeofglory]

It is striking and gives the vivid image of the war-ravaged place and the poet thru his simple style has given something with gravity

[firefangled]

This is very intriguing as if speaking more broadly of its elements: house, soldier, war and enemy than one would initially think.

[Delta40]

I do get the marching effect from the way you repeat the lines. Boots on gravel.

It is almost like an illusion of a tight outfit but events scatter them to the wind

[PrinceMyshkin]

The repeated lines in this piece remind me of marching feet. Is there a specific historical event to which it alludes? If so, please enlighten me, as I had a habit of napping in history class.

No, it is my vision of a generic war. Note the minor change in stanza 2.

[paperleaves]

The last line is a beautiful, haunting image. I love this, Jer, it really takes you to another place when reading it, a place of poverty, loneliness, hunger...for love, warmth, and family...

love
paper

[ampoule]

The bridge came down,
the house fell,
and the soldiers marched in formation.

The tourists came
amid rumours of war.
The price of everything went up
but the soldiers continued to march in formation.

The enemy came,
even more rapine than advertised,

and the soldiers fell out of formation.


Wow! At first I saw that we can all look good with our presence but when the real job comes things fall apart....but then I saw....we take an eye's right glance as we march through life and when a personal threat comes we fall out and fight....but then I saw that the bridge came down and there is no going back. I could go on and on, you know. Can you tell I might like this?

[Bar22do]

Your poem is so good and powerful. Beautiful too, and the beauty of it is almost disturbing, as if such contents should be built with grits only...

[PrinceMyshkin]

The last line is a beautiful, haunting image. I love this, Jer, it really takes you to another place when reading it, a place of poverty, loneliness, hunger...for love, warmth, and family...

love
paper

Thank you so much. You can probably imagine the elation I felt writing it, as if I were one of those optic cables (is that the right phrase) carrying some voice I loved.