Insomnia

[billybobwill]

Hi, this is the first version of a poem I've come up with, please give constructive criticism. As harsh or complimentary as you like, as long as it is about the poem, not me, I'm happy to hear anything.

Insomnia

I see a grim face, glancing back one day,
"No sleep again?" You say,
"No S**T!" I reply, with a deathly stare,
Secretly sobbing in despair,
A reason surely there will be,
That a good nights rest I'll never see,
Talking seems to lesson the pain,
Reduces the levels to which I am drained,
This is my story,
My curse,
That i forever hold.

For when my eyes close,
It is your face,
That I behold,
Smiling softly, a wink, a tease,
"I will have less of that, if you please!",
But thoroughly, honestly, it saddens me so,
That I will never kneel down below,
And bring to bear my drowning soul,
And admit, without you, I am no longer whole,

It is up to fate, the roll of a dice,
The turn of a card, that chill like ice,
To freeze my heart, forever more,
Or fire burn so I can soar,
I leave it to time and the flip of a dime,
To end my torment, end my tale,
Of hope, to one day prevail,

Until that day I shall, in the mirror see,
A grim face, staring back at me,
Bearing the sadness, bearing the shame,

A mutter back, "No sleep again?"


Thanks for reading,
Will