Princes

[isidro]

This is due to partial amnesia which I spent two years battling. I could not remember what romance was and desperately attempted to find a man who could save me. Alas, the only one who can do that is God.

Words and princes thick surrounding
Masking senses and the heart
Never certain of my footing
Try to choose the better part.

In all this my house divided.
The mem’ry and my life shut down,
Aching to restore the sharpness
Once I felt as solid ground.

And the princes still confusing
Twisting my poor aching mind
Into shapes I can’t remember
Struggling images I find.

Something in the soul that trembles
Something I’ve forgotten through
And though yet I can’t recall it
Surely know I that it’s true.

Which one prince will gain that fondness?
Which the hero makes it whole?
How and why will each grant shelter?
Which of them subdue the soul?

[Virgil]

Very nice Isi. I really think that last stanza ends it nicely. That is probably the best stanza. There are some cliches in here, but I think the form allows it. You handled the form nicely by the way. I would adivise reverting to natural word order on this line, "Surely know I that it’s true." I think it would be better "Surely I know that it's true." I'm trying to decide if the form adds to the theme. I think it does give it a melancholy feel. I can swear W.H. Auden has a poem in this form with the same melancholy feel. If I come across it I will post it. :)

[cogs]

it's interesting that you may forget romance, but that may be a good thing, leaving an innocence that judges unbiased. also, perhaps you learned to trust your intuition more.

[isidro]

Wow! Those responses were fast! I just posted this! Actually, Virgil, I never ever edit anything and I wrote this start to finish in about 15 minutes. Truly. I haven't stopped to think about it. It was just what came out, as my writing always is.

My dear Cogs, I have not many opportunities to remember romance and the opportunities I have I tend to shy away from. Perhaps you are right. I just need to find a good man before I can know for sure, I suppose.

[isidro]

Another one along the same vein entitled "Lord of Daylight"

Once repelled by hurt and terror
Drawn by voices crying ever
"Leave us, leave us" begging "never."

Men like monsters call my senses
Breaking down my weak defenses
And with each my psyche tenses
Forcing souls their ties to sever.

Trust and anger then compelling
Rage and fear within me swelling
Always thinking, never telling
And with love my mind dispenses.

Finding peace a quest of daytime
But the foe advancing nighttime
Please subdue me, now or sometime
Tranquil sounds so distant, belling.

Look to find me Lord of Daylight.
Guide me, lead me, deaf my eyesight.
Please protect me in thine arms tight.
And bring joy to me sublime.