i Disappear

[Dark Muse]

i Disappear

I call out
into an empty room
echoes of silence
answered
and shatter
my perception

Shattered fragments
my broken fingernails
trace in blood
upon these walls

But it fades
as if I myself
am disappearing
identity is illusion
diminished
behind blank
soundless walls

[blazeofglory]

Dark Muse, most of your poems are about darkness, grotesques and creepy things. Shadows, illusions, phantoms etc. And what I like about them is you make plenty of images and metaphors

[Dark Muse]

Yes, that is quite true, I do draw often from the shadows and the darkness, thank you for your comments.

[MorpheusSandman]

I like it; themes of perception and identity are amongst my favorites but I've yet to really write about them much (yet). The only thing I don't like is the repetition of "shatter/shattered". I tend to think it's an overused poetic word anyway.

[Dark Muse]

Yes, that is a valid concern, I understand what you mean, that is true, but I felt that it would fit best here for the sake of this poem

[Pendragon]

echoes of silence
answered



identity is illusion


Powerful imagery!

[Mr. Madeleine]

I like the imagery and the action in the second stanza. I find the first and third to be a bit too much on the telly side, but they are nevertheless well-penned. Thanks for sharing.

[Sampson]

the language and imagery of this is very affecting; but what I loved most was the way you used a lower case "i" then an upper case "D" in the title... Why was that, if you don't mind me asking?

[Dark Muse]

the language and imagery of this is very affecting; but what I loved most was the way you used a lower case "i" then an upper case "D" in the title... Why was that, if you don't mind me asking?

It was a way of further refelecting the idea of diminishing self which is threadded throughout the poem, and it just felt like the "right" thing to do for this poem as I was playing in my head with ideas for titles.

[cogs]

"echoes of silence answered and shatter my perception": this is a great symbol of disappearing. i can almost feel the character's shock. i would also notice verb tense, cause i have trouble with that, esp with my last poem. this poem seems like a whisper.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much