Help elongating or elaborating on an essay?

[c41yn3]

I need this to be another two pages long, about, at Times New Roman 12pt. It's now two pages and change. Give me material/tips/help/aid.



There are a number of comparable themes between Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Odyssey, including the role of women, the role of sex and sexuality, courtesy and hospitality, religion and superstition, lessons learned, political standards, and violence. Sex and violence are two of these themes which are worthy of particular focus. Both are used in both of the classic works in order to enhance important thematic elements.

In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the women are depicted in general as objects of desire (note: objects). The two leading female characters are Guinevere of Camelot and who is ultimately revealed to be Morgan le Fay. Both are described within the text strictly by their physical features, and then compared to one another according to their respective physical appearances, beauty, and sex appeal. In the end, however, it turns out that Morgan le Fay was running the entire operation from the start, and it is a complete twist (not only her role, but how the story all comes together). Not only that, but one of her main objectives in that whole set-up regarding the “Green Knight” and Camelot was to strike fear into the heart of Guinevere, her female rival.

The Odyssey has more female characters throughout the story than in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. These women are basically all portrayed as temptresses and sex objects, in some respect – all except for Athena, who is a goddess of relatively high regard. Other goddesses are present in the book as well, such as Calypso and Circe, who both serve as adversaries of sorts, as well as sexual icons. Another leading female character in the story is Helen of Troy, who is a powerful, manipulative, sexual figure, and may be a goddess, though it is not necessarily implied in the text. (Helen is known to have been Zeus's daughter.)

Both Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Odyssey use women as projective forces of influence; the two books are similar in this respect. The role of women can be considered “projective” because the main [male] characters hardly interact with the women characters just as they are as people – in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Gawain interacts with his host's wife, and she has effect on him and on her surroundings, but it is as if she plays no part in it; it comes off like she has a much more minimal role than she really does. In The Odyssey, the case is slightly different but it holds the same weight in the same way: Athena plays one of the most important roles in the story, though the main [male] characters never seem to interact with her directly; she is always in disguise, and disguised as a male figure. Penelope is another semi-main character in the story (though secondary), and she is sort of kept in the background. Both stories employ superhuman female characters – i.e., goddesses in The Odyssey, and a sorceress in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Also, in The Odyssey women serve as roadblocks in Odysseus's earthly journey, for the most part (save Athena); in Sir Gawain, the woman (Morgan le Fay) serves as more of a catalyst, wholly and religiously/spiritually (that is, she fortifies and rewards his virtue).

Depictions of violence in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight are mild in comparison to those in The Odyssey. Both stories include explicit scenes of violence, such as the Green Knight voluntarily being beheaded, and Odysseus striking out the only eye of the cyclops. The majority of violent scenes in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight are hunting scenes, while violence in The Odyssey maintains a graphic and offensive quality (e.g., on Circe's island, one of Odysseus's shipmates/crew members walked straight off of her roof half asleep, to his death). The Odyssey has more death, as well as a scene when Odysseus visits the dead, including his dead mother. The violence in Sir Gawain is not depicted unless necessary, and never lingers longer than necessary. Only during the two scenes when Sir Gawain and the Green Knight meet at the beginning and the end of the story is any violence brought to our attention, but those scenes are vital and principal to the story. The hunting scenes are a show of the genuine effort that went into Gawain's host's gifts to him, which goes to exhibit Bertilak de Hautdesert's work ethic, as opposed to Sir Gawain's idling (voluntarily or not).

Personally, I feel that Sir Gawain and the Green Knight trumps The Odyssey. Sir Gawain is written in a more direct, straightforward manner. The constant roadblocks and obstacles in The Odyssey prove tedious after a short time; it seems to me that there is too much fluff or filler, the story hardly ever seems to be getting anywhere. Despite all the action, there is a feeling of stagnation while reading. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is causal; the storyline is continuous and linear, relevance prevalent. There is a point to everything, and it all ties together in the end. It is more organized, methodical, purposeful. There is a cause-effect relationship stringing together the entire story. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Those who write clearly have readers; those who write obscurely have commentators.” This is an important thought to keep in mind, and I think the unidentified writer of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight did a significantly better job of writing clearly and precisely (which seems to be the past president Lincoln's preference).

[glover7]

I need this to be another two pages long, about, at Times New Roman 12pt. It's now two pages and change. Give me material/tips/help/aid.



There are a number of comparable themes between Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Odyssey, including the role of women, the role of sex and sexuality, courtesy and hospitality, religion and superstition, lessons learned, political standards, and violence. Sex and violence are two of these themes which are worthy of particular focus. Both are used in both of the classic works in order to enhance important thematic elements.

In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the women are depicted in general as objects of desire (note: objects). The two leading female characters are Guinevere of Camelot and who is ultimately revealed to be Morgan le Fay. Both are described within the text strictly by their physical features, and then compared to one another according to their respective physical appearances, beauty, and sex appeal. In the end, however, it turns out that Morgan le Fay was running the entire operation from the start, and it is a complete twist (not only her role, but how the story all comes together). Not only that, but one of her main objectives in that whole set-up regarding the “Green Knight” and Camelot was to strike fear into the heart of Guinevere, her female rival.

The Odyssey has more female characters throughout the story than in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. These women are basically all portrayed as temptresses and sex objects, in some respect – all except for Athena, who is a goddess of relatively high regard. Other goddesses are present in the book as well, such as Calypso and Circe, who both serve as adversaries of sorts, as well as sexual icons. Another leading female character in the story is Helen of Troy, who is a powerful, manipulative, sexual figure, and may be a goddess, though it is not necessarily implied in the text. (Helen is known to have been Zeus's daughter.)

Both Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Odyssey use women as projective forces of influence; the two books are similar in this respect. The role of women can be considered “projective” because the main [male] characters hardly interact with the women characters just as they are as people – in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Gawain interacts with his host's wife, and she has effect on him and on her surroundings, but it is as if she plays no part in it; it comes off like she has a much more minimal role than she really does. In The Odyssey, the case is slightly different but it holds the same weight in the same way: Athena plays one of the most important roles in the story, though the main [male] characters never seem to interact with her directly; she is always in disguise, and disguised as a male figure. Penelope is another semi-main character in the story (though secondary), and she is sort of kept in the background. Both stories employ superhuman female characters – i.e., goddesses in The Odyssey, and a sorceress in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Also, in The Odyssey women serve as roadblocks in Odysseus's earthly journey, for the most part (save Athena); in Sir Gawain, the woman (Morgan le Fay) serves as more of a catalyst, wholly and religiously/spiritually (that is, she fortifies and rewards his virtue).

Depictions of violence in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight are mild in comparison to those in The Odyssey. Both stories include explicit scenes of violence, such as the Green Knight voluntarily being beheaded, and Odysseus striking out the only eye of the cyclops. The majority of violent scenes in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight are hunting scenes, while violence in The Odyssey maintains a graphic and offensive quality (e.g., on Circe's island, one of Odysseus's shipmates/crew members walked straight off of her roof half asleep, to his death). The Odyssey has more death, as well as a scene when Odysseus visits the dead, including his dead mother. The violence in Sir Gawain is not depicted unless necessary, and never lingers longer than necessary. Only during the two scenes when Sir Gawain and the Green Knight meet at the beginning and the end of the story is any violence brought to our attention, but those scenes are vital and principal to the story. The hunting scenes are a show of the genuine effort that went into Gawain's host's gifts to him, which goes to exhibit Bertilak de Hautdesert's work ethic, as opposed to Sir Gawain's idling (voluntarily or not).

Personally, I feel that Sir Gawain and the Green Knight trumps The Odyssey. Sir Gawain is written in a more direct, straightforward manner. The constant roadblocks and obstacles in The Odyssey prove tedious after a short time; it seems to me that there is too much fluff or filler, the story hardly ever seems to be getting anywhere. Despite all the action, there is a feeling of stagnation while reading. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is causal; the storyline is continuous and linear, relevance prevalent. There is a point to everything, and it all ties together in the end. It is more organized, methodical, purposeful. There is a cause-effect relationship stringing together the entire story. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Those who write clearly have readers; those who write obscurely have commentators.” This is an important thought to keep in mind, and I think the unidentified writer of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight did a significantly better job of writing clearly and precisely (which seems to be the past president Lincoln's preference).

There are plenty of areas where you can expand on your ideas. In the first place, your introduction is unfocused, and your thesis is buried under a catalog of themes. Cut that. It's essay fodder, and you can present relevant information in a more engaging way.

In your first meaty paragraph, you assert that the women in Gawain are sex objects. I'm being told that, but I'm not being convinced of it because you haven't provided examples. Saying generally that the women suffer comparison is not evidence that it is actually happening. Include citation. At the very least, offer up a distinct definition of what you mean when you reemphasize "objects." Right now you have a cloudy meaning that leaves us only with the option of taking your summary of the text as truth.

In the next paragraph, you discuss how the majority of females in Homer's text are sex objects again, but you never truly delve into the material itself. You must provide examples if you're going to make an assertion. Also, here's a great point to expand on: Why do you feel that Athena is the female character least associated with sex? Is it simply because she is one of the virgin goddesses? Is it because she has more in common with the cultural hero (Ulysses/Odysseus) than with the cultural norm for women? If something strikes you as different, then question why it is different. Why are the women "roadblocks," and how does their interference in the story reflect on Penelope's character?

Finally, your conclusion is far too weak. You begin with a personal assessment of the texts, which is something no professor wants you to do in an academic essay. You end with a completely arbitrary reference to Abraham Lincoln. Again, if you're going to cite something as support of your argument, cite the texts themselves instead of some completely tangential dead president.

Watch out for saying things like "sort of," and be careful of being repetitive of a word in the same sentence ("both" appears redundantly in your second intro sentence). You want your arguments to be strongly put forth, and you don't want to have your reader faltering over a lack of assurance that you believe in your point.

I hope this has been helpful. Also, I personally found The Odyssey far more readable than Gawain, so it's cool to find someone who holds the opposite perspective.

[glover7]

Oh, and I forgot the paragraph on violence. The problem was that the transition from the previous paragraph to the paragraph on violence was so startling and unwarranted that it feels like it should be in a completely different essay. Find a way to relate your previous paragraph to the new one so that it doesn't alter the direction of the paper so drastically.

[c41yn3]

There are plenty of areas where you can expand on your ideas. In the first place, your introduction is unfocused, and your thesis is buried under a catalog of themes. Cut that. It's essay fodder, and you can present relevant information in a more engaging way.

In your first meaty paragraph, you assert that the women in Gawain are sex objects. I'm being told that, but I'm not being convinced of it because you haven't provided examples. Saying generally that the women suffer comparison is not evidence that it is actually happening. Include citation. At the very least, offer up a distinct definition of what you mean when you reemphasize "objects." Right now you have a cloudy meaning that leaves us only with the option of taking your summary of the text as truth.

In the next paragraph, you discuss how the majority of females in Homer's text are sex objects again, but you never truly delve into the material itself. You must provide examples if you're going to make an assertion. Also, here's a great point to expand on: Why do you feel that Athena is the female character least associated with sex? Is it simply because she is one of the virgin goddesses? Is it because she has more in common with the cultural hero (Ulysses/Odysseus) than with the cultural norm for women? If something strikes you as different, then question why it is different. Why are the women "roadblocks," and how does their interference in the story reflect on Penelope's character?

Finally, your conclusion is far too weak. You begin with a personal assessment of the texts, which is something no professor wants you to do in an academic essay. You end with a completely arbitrary reference to Abraham Lincoln. Again, if you're going to cite something as support of your argument, cite the texts themselves instead of some completely tangential dead president.

Watch out for saying things like "sort of," and be careful of being repetitive of a word in the same sentence ("both" appears redundantly in your second intro sentence). You want your arguments to be strongly put forth, and you don't want to have your reader faltering over a lack of assurance that you believe in your point.

I hope this has been helpful. Also, I personally found The Odyssey far more readable than Gawain, so it's cool to find someone who holds the opposite perspective.

Thank you very much, you have definitely been helpful. I was aware of all this, it just helps me to hear somebody say it to me. That also helps me push through actually doing it. Another thing was that I didn't have the books on me; my professor sprung the essay on us late, so we thought we were done with the books.

I KNOW that I should not have let in any of the "me myself & I" -- I always make that point to others and they don't seem to understand or care. The thing is, this teacher doesn't seem to care either. He's very lenient, he lets that slip, it seems. Even so, I usually keep up my integrity and for the sake of practice as well just do it right anyway. Some of the things I do on purpose because I like the way it sounds, and he usually likes it too, he gets it. But I still very much appreciate it. (The use of the word "both" twice in the same sentence was on purpose. I like that flow.) I know the problems with "sort of" and any uncertain-seeming way of writing, I didn't realize I had done that... Technicalities are the cherry on the cake, I love it. The arbitrary reference to Abraham Lincoln was on purpose as well. It's a stupid sense of humor. You're entirely right, but that's why it's there and it stays (i.e., because I think it's funny).

The introduction and conclusion, though, I do have a problem with those. I have a problem with writing in general, I'm really not good with it. I can edit well, and enjoy doing that, but I can't produce for ****, or edit anything I write because I have to produce my own edits or something... I guess that's common. So I'm aware of those things, does anybody have any tips on how to strengthen my introduction and/or conclusion?

I have to continue tackling this, thank you very much for your help....

[glover7]

The introduction and conclusion, though, I do have a problem with those. I have a problem with writing in general, I'm really not good with it. I can edit well, and enjoy doing that, but I can't produce for ****, or edit anything I write because I have to produce my own edits or something... I guess that's common. So I'm aware of those things, does anybody have any tips on how to strengthen my introduction and/or conclusion?

The process I use for writing an introduction and conclusion is to write my entire essay without those two paragraphs. I usually even wing the essay without a clear thesis. When I finally finish all my body paragraphs, I read back over it to make sense of all the evidence I have provided, and I build my intro and thesis from that. I also don't always put my thesis in the introduction, as the thesis is sometimes more appropriately brought out after the development of ideas.

The conclusion used to be a bit tough for me because all of those high school teachers who think they know what they're doing tell you to restate your thesis in your conclusion. Don't do this! Instead, take your thesis and do something with it. If your thesis was that the structure of the story relates to the content in a certain way, then explain how interweaving content and structure contributes to the story overall.

Good luck! And I'm glad that you keep your writing integrity intact even for lenient teachers. Too many people in my classes just bs their ways through essays and don't care how they sound.

[IceM]

OP, because Idk if I could double quote, I'm going to copy and paste your essay below. Anything in bold is a significant error.



There are a number of comparable themes between Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Odyssey, including the role of women, the role of sex and sexuality, courtesy and hospitality, religion and superstition, lessons learned, political standards, and violence. Sex and violence are two of these themes which are worthy of particular focus. Both are used in both of the classic works in order to enhance important thematic elements.

In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the women are depicted in general as objects of desire (note: objects). The two leading female characters are Guinevere of Camelot and who is ultimately revealed to be Morgan le Fay. Both are described within the text strictly by their physical features, and then compared to one another according to their respective physical appearances, beauty, and sex appeal. In the end, however, it turns out that Morgan le Fay was running the entire operation from the start, and it is a complete twist (not only her role, but how the story all comes together). Not only that, but one of her main objectives in that whole set-up regarding the “Green Knight” and Camelot was to strike fear into the heart of Guinevere, her female rival.

The Odyssey has more female characters throughout the story than in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. These women are basically all portrayed as temptresses and sex objects, in some respect – all except for Athena, who is a goddess of relatively high regard. Other goddesses are present in the book as well, such as Calypso and Circe, who both serve as adversaries of sorts, as well as sexual icons. Another leading female character in the story is Helen of Troy, who is a powerful, manipulative, sexual figure, and may be a goddess, though it is not necessarily implied in the text. (Helen is known to have been Zeus's daughter.)

Both Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Odyssey use women as projective forces of influence; the two books are similar in this respect. The role of women can be considered “projective” because the main [male] characters hardly interact with the women characters just as they are as people – in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Gawain interacts with his host's wife, and she has effect on him and on her surroundings, but it is as if she plays no part in it; it comes off like she has a much more minimal role than she really does. In The Odyssey, the case is slightly different but it holds the same weight in the same way: Athena plays one of the most important roles in the story, though the main [male] characters never seem to interact with her directly; she is always in disguise, and disguised as a male figure. Penelope is another semi-main character in the story (though secondary), and she is sort of kept in the background. Both stories employ superhuman female characters – i.e., goddesses in The Odyssey, and a sorceress in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Also, in The Odyssey women serve as roadblocks in Odysseus's earthly journey, for the most part (save Athena); in Sir Gawain, the woman (Morgan le Fay) serves as more of a catalyst, wholly and religiously/spiritually (that is, she fortifies and rewards his virtue).

Depictions of violence in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight are mild in comparison to those in The Odyssey. Both stories include explicit scenes of violence, such as the Green Knight voluntarily being beheaded, and Odysseus striking out the only eye of the cyclops. The majority of violent scenes in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight are hunting scenes, while violence in The Odyssey maintains a graphic and offensive quality (e.g., on Circe's island, one of Odysseus's shipmates/crew members walked straight off of her roof half asleep, to his death). The Odyssey has more death, as well as a scene when Odysseus visits the dead, including his dead mother. The violence in Sir Gawain is not depicted unless necessary, and never lingers longer than necessary. Only during the two scenes when Sir Gawain and the Green Knight meet at the beginning and the end of the story is any violence brought to our attention, but those scenes are vital and principal to the story. The hunting scenes are a show of the genuine effort that went into Gawain's host's gifts to him, which goes to exhibit Bertilak de Hautdesert's work ethic, as opposed to Sir Gawain's idling (voluntarily or not).

Personally, I feel that Sir Gawain and the Green Knight trumps The Odyssey. Sir Gawain is written in a more direct, straightforward manner. The constant roadblocks and obstacles in The Odyssey prove tedious after a short time; it seems to me that there is too much fluff or filler, the story hardly ever seems to be getting anywhere. Despite all the action, there is a feeling of stagnation while reading. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is causal; the storyline is continuous and linear, relevance prevalent. There is a point to everything, and it all ties together in the end. It is more organized, methodical, purposeful. There is a cause-effect relationship stringing together the entire story. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Those who write clearly have readers; those who write obscurely have commentators.” This is an important thought to keep in mind, and I think the unidentified writer of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight did a significantly better job of writing clearly and precisely (which seems to be the past president Lincoln's preference).


Okay, so umm, with the introduction, your first sentence was terrible. Instead of grocery-listing the various themes in both novels (or in the case of the Odyssey, an epic) find a more creative way to tie it all together. If you're only going to discuss violence and sexual portrayals, only discuss that in your sentence. I'm sure your teacher has read both pieces of literature before; he knows the themes. Just get to the point.

2nd bold. What does it matter if Morgan Le Fay is running some operation? How does that, in any sense, prove relevant to how she is depicted? If you're talking about how Morgan Le Fay is depicted in a sexual manner, hammer that out. You're summarizing the plot, which is a separate paragraph in a different essay; if you're going to define how she's an object, define how she's an object: don't give me a plot summary.

3rd paragraph. You grocery-listed the characters. Once again, if this section of the essay is supposed to define how women in the Odyssey are portrayed as sex objects, define how. Don't give me a summary. Same with the bold on Penelope: how is that remotely relevant?



The arbitrary reference to Abraham Lincoln was on purpose as well. It's a stupid sense of humor. You're entirely right, but that's why it's there and it stays (i.e., because I think it's funny).

And I think it's funny how you think some irrelevant quote even matters to this essay. Frankly, that quote relates to a different essay that probably wasn't assigned. This quote summarizes the whole of your essay: unrelated tangents that swerve from what the topic of your essay seems to be. Cut the quote, and refine what this essay needs serious retooling in.

Oh, and in the conclusion, what's the prompt? Summarizing two themes? Then why give your opinion on what book was better? You wrote about three essays in one, all poorly done. Just stick to answering the prompt.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but the mistakes were just that obvious. Make it easier on me next time.

[glover7]

Okay, so umm, with the introduction, your first sentence was terrible. Instead of grocery-listing the various themes in both novels (or in the case of the Odyssey, an epic) find a more creative way to tie it all together. If you're only going to discuss violence and sexual portrayals, only discuss that in your sentence. I'm sure your teacher has read both pieces of literature before; he knows the themes. Just get to the point.

2nd bold. What does it matter if Morgan Le Fay is running some operation? How does that, in any sense, prove relevant to how she is depicted? If you're talking about how Morgan Le Fay is depicted in a sexual manner, hammer that out. You're summarizing the plot, which is a separate paragraph in a different essay; if you're going to define how she's an object, define how she's an object: don't give me a plot summary.

3rd paragraph. You grocery-listed the characters. Once again, if this section of the essay is supposed to define how women in the Odyssey are portrayed as sex objects, define how. Don't give me a summary. Same with the bold on Penelope: how is that remotely relevant?

And I think it's funny how you think some irrelevant quote even matters to this essay. Frankly, that quote relates to a different essay that probably wasn't assigned. This quote summarizes the whole of your essay: unrelated tangents that swerve from what the topic of your essay seems to be. Cut the quote, and refine what this essay needs serious retooling in.

Oh, and in the conclusion, what's the prompt? Summarizing two themes? Then why give your opinion on what book was better? You wrote about three essays in one, all poorly done. Just stick to answering the prompt.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but the mistakes were just that obvious. Make it easier on me next time.

Aren't all your recommendations almost ripped exactly from mine only phrased more harshly? Geez, at least read the given commentary so that the OP doesn't end up with a lot of redundant information.

[IceM]

Aren't all your recommendations almost ripped exactly from mine only phrased more harshly? Geez, at least read the given commentary so that the OP doesn't end up with a lot of redundant information.

Actually, they aren't. While I restated that the OP failed to elaborate on his point, I criticized his summarization of the plots of the novels without tying it into the prompt.

Surely, our criticisms have something in common. Don't make the assumption that I'm reiterating exactly what you said though, or else I wouldn't have posted anything.

[glover7]

Okay, so umm, with the introduction, your first sentence was terrible. Instead of grocery-listing the various themes in both novels (or in the case of the Odyssey, an epic) find a more creative way to tie it all together. If you're only going to discuss violence and sexual portrayals, only discuss that in your sentence. I'm sure your teacher has read both pieces of literature before; he knows the themes. Just get to the point.

What I said:

There are plenty of areas where you can expand on your ideas. In the first place, your introduction is unfocused, and your thesis is buried under a catalog of themes. Cut that. It's essay fodder, and you can present relevant information in a more engaging way.

And just so you know, Gawain is definitely NOT a novel.


2nd bold. What does it matter if Morgan Le Fay is running some operation? How does that, in any sense, prove relevant to how she is depicted? If you're talking about how Morgan Le Fay is depicted in a sexual manner, hammer that out. You're summarizing the plot, which is a separate paragraph in a different essay; if you're going to define how she's an object, define how she's an object: don't give me a plot summary.

In your first meaty paragraph, you assert that the women in Gawain are sex objects. I'm being told that, but I'm not being convinced of it because you haven't provided examples. Saying generally that the women suffer comparison is not evidence that it is actually happening. Include citation. At the very least, offer up a distinct definition of what you mean when you reemphasize "objects." Right now you have a cloudy meaning that leaves us only with the option of taking your summary of the text as truth.


3rd paragraph. You grocery-listed the characters. Once again, if this section of the essay is supposed to define how women in the Odyssey are portrayed as sex objects, define how. Don't give me a summary. Same with the bold on Penelope: how is that remotely relevant?

Read above. Also, this:

In the next paragraph, you discuss how the majority of females in Homer's text are sex objects again, but you never truly delve into the material itself. You must provide examples if you're going to make an assertion. Also, here's a great point to expand on: Why do you feel that Athena is the female character least associated with sex? Is it simply because she is one of the virgin goddesses? Is it because she has more in common with the cultural hero (Ulysses/Odysseus) than with the cultural norm for women? If something strikes you as different, then question why it is different. Why are the women "roadblocks," and how does their interference in the story reflect on Penelope's character?


And I think it's funny how you think some irrelevant quote even matters to this essay. Frankly, that quote relates to a different essay that probably wasn't assigned. This quote summarizes the whole of your essay: unrelated tangents that swerve from what the topic of your essay seems to be. Cut the quote, and refine what this essay needs serious retooling in.


What I said:

Finally, your conclusion is far too weak. You begin with a personal assessment of the texts, which is something no professor wants you to do in an academic essay. You end with a completely arbitrary reference to Abraham Lincoln. Again, if you're going to cite something as support of your argument, cite the texts themselves instead of some completely tangential dead president.


Oh, and in the conclusion, what's the prompt? Summarizing two themes? Then why give your opinion on what book was better? You wrote about three essays in one, all poorly done. Just stick to answering the prompt.

Read my last quotation.


Sorry if that seems harsh, but the mistakes were just that obvious. Make it easier on me next time.

Granted, this is new material, but it's mostly just egotistical rudeness.