Doom's Day Ahead

[abhinabmohanty]

Once it was a goose laying golden eggs
But now it is a country where million begs
62 years of independence the nation takes
But still million go to bed without cakes
English came here to do business
And took it to complete darkness
The land that was the mother of all religions
Was made the land of crusades and rebellions
Britishers made our people dance to their whims
Crucified Gandhiji's dreams
By creating riots between Hindus and Muslims
They left us with many exit things
Our politicians also continued the same affair
And made our politics a matter of satire
People like Raja Bhaiya became our ruler
And made our future darker and darker
Election remained no more by giving votes
But by shuffling of coins and notes
This is the Indian politics oh my dear
Where criminal controls the country's gear

[MorpheusSandman]

I'm afraid I can't say much on the politics of the piece but I think it suffers from being a bit too direct at time. In poetry you really need to think metaphors, similes and imagery first and use directness as a kind of counterpoint for effect. I think the end-rhyming is also a bit distracting; it works best when you use slant/half rhymes such as business/darkness. Perhaps my primary advice to new/budding poets would be to avoid end-rhymes unless you're practicing in a strict form like sonnets or terza rima.

[blazeofglory]

That India is shining is a false notion; of course this resentment among the Youth is really natural. While politics is averted here but poetry can take on anything be it politics, economics and the like. The attempt here at versification is amazing, the scorn of the purists notwithstanding. Of course English is a medium of expression and here the poet had done it marvelously, giving the picture of India as it is now.
I like the stuff and the enterprise of the poet in point of fact. Keep tuned and the rest will go well in due course

[Scheherazade]

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