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PrinceMyshkin
10-30-2009, 09:44 AM
He fiddles with words
as if they were sweetmeats
offered by or pilferred from
the Kabbalah: milk,
dates, loneliness.

In each word
there is the husky after-breath
of God, a whisper
containing a world.
ampoule
10-30-2009, 10:13 AM
The words I fiddled with to express my love of this are so lame that I can't really express myself how much I love this.
Granny5
10-30-2009, 10:35 AM
I have missed you Jer.
cogs
10-30-2009, 05:00 PM
i don't know much about the kabbalah, but i do know about loneliness and some poetry. i love the brevity; i wonder about 'fiddles'. the last stanza is a beautiful world in itself.
PrinceMyshkin
10-30-2009, 05:28 PM
i don't know much about the kabbalah, but i do know about loneliness and some poetry. i love the brevity; i wonder about 'fiddles'. the last stanza is a beautiful world in itself.

Thanks. I appreciate your sensitivity re "fiddles." I wanted that because some people are so solemn about Kabbalah; I meant to suggest that the persona isn't 100% sold on it.
DanielBenoit
10-30-2009, 05:42 PM
Love the latter stanza, especially "a whisper / containing a world." Great stuff.
qimissung
10-30-2009, 10:30 PM
I love ..."the husky after-breath of God." What a beautiful, lingering image, his breath on our cheek.
PrinceMyshkin
04-13-2010, 11:21 AM
Belatedly, thanks Granny5, Ampoule, DanielBenoit and qimissung
Hawkman
04-13-2010, 02:12 PM
Nice one Prince. If all words have power, I'm sure the ones you choose can move mountains. H
lallison
04-13-2010, 09:54 PM
This is great, I love the soft alliteration of "w"s in the second stanza. Soft and warm. It reminds me a bit of The Big Bang Theory I posted a few weeks ago (a sunflower hidden in a seed). You are a very skilled and precise writer.
blazeofglory
04-13-2010, 10:38 PM
He fiddles with words
as if they were sweetmeats
offered by or pilferred from
the Kabbalah: milk,
dates, loneliness.

In each word
there is the husky after-breath
of God, a whisper
containing a world.


This so much intrigues me I internalized the "fiddle with words". This carries the beauty unsurpassed. You have really struck me with these intoxicating lines.
PrinceMyshkin
04-14-2010, 11:47 AM
Hawkman, lallison, BlazeofGlory: many thanks...