Faith and Hate

[kevinthediltz]

Its a little different.

Faith and hate go hand and hand
Strolling gleefully down the lane of time
Hate lets go, it sees a boy,
Watching a half full red ballon
Rise and fall with the playful wind.
Hate pushes the boy to the ground
And stomps the red joy
A wrinkled lump in the dust
Hate walks back and grabs the hand of faith
Hand of god.
Faith looks on.
Hate erases the love of men,
Faith looks on.

[MorpheusSandman]

Hmmm, it's a very interesting allegorical concept but I would've done a few things different in the execution. It might have been more interesting if you took a bit more time to characterize love and hate, say, in one stanza, develop the boy and the balloon in the next, hate's actions in the third, and then close with what you did. I think the "Hate erases the love of men" is a bit too didactic. These are the things I'd recommend avoiding since you've already framed it as an allegory; if you simply develop the boy and the balloon to symbolize this then hate's actions would speak for itself. My only other complaint is that the second line is a bit too prosaic.

But I really admire the ambition and the attempt to frame it so simply.

[skib]

Kind of reminds me of the song "The Ballad of Love and Hate" by the Avett Brothers. Interesting, even though you know I have no clue what the deeper meaning is.