Once more

[mixster]

If I could just touch your cheek one last time;
Feel your such-smooth skin with my fingertips;
If I could just once more feel so sublime
As I feel the lovingness in your lips.

Alas it seems that for now I can not,
So I’ll have to have comfort in my mind.
Wishing for the memories I forgot,
To this dismal job I have been resigned.

Why did you have to leave me all alone?
There is not one other soul I can love.
Death took you much too early from your throne.
I only hope you watch me from above.

One day the reaper will visit me too.
That day I will cherish as I see you.

[Delta40]

I think your sentiments here are so honestly put, it is hard not to feel the cherished warmth they convey

[MorpheusSandman]

I can tell it's definitely heartfelt; perhaps a bit sentimental and melodramatic but it's ok to write like that when the moment fits. My complaints with the form are the same things that I talked about in this thread (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47600) if you care to read them.

[mixster]

First of all, thank you to both of you for reading my poem and replying - I really appreciate it :)

I do see your complaint MorpheusSandman, but I really still am the beginning of what I hope will be a long line of poems and so I am getting to grips with the layout, but struggling to abide by meters (it is something I'm working on).

I did also relate well to your comment at the end of the other post - "I tend to want to do my best to work in strict sonnet forms because there's just so much creative possibility within the limitations it creates." - I find I just ramble in the end if I don't, but maybe that is something else for me to work on.

[MorpheusSandman]

I'm glad I could help. Artistic inspiration and how to use language are things that's much more difficult to master than simply understanding and abiding by form since the latter can be simply learned and consciously practiced. The former are things that are elusive to all but the lucky few so there's always room to learn about the technical side of things later.

[Buh4Bee]

I enjoyed the poem and also I enjoyed the conversation about poetry. I have to agree with Morpheussandman that to be inspired is one thing, but being well verse in the technical aspects of writing will only enhance the expression of the inspiration. Keep working on it mixster, if you so feel compelled.

[Pendragon]

One day the reaper will visit me too.
That day I will cherish as I see you.

God, the pathos of that ending couplet! A sweet, sad sonnet, well-written, well rhymed!