Ancient Toys

[DanBierce]

I often think of Ellie.
Her and I in a loft with deck and candle
dealt poker for each others clothes.
We were our own cashiers and paid
in gambled touch and fondle.

There were the ancient toys. Guns
that merely clicked with trigger pulls
as wheeled horses followed
at the ends of strings.
We used our mouths
to make sound-effects of war
behind walls of our imagined Alamo.
Her body, prone over mine,
was the climax of make-believe death.

This was a long spring ago, the images
corrupt with shuffled recall.
And while playing seven-stud at the Legion
I hold picture hearts and hope Ellie
isn't chasing diamonds in light dimmed
by the blue smoke of someone whose pretend
is all about his weak hand and bluff.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Great stuff! The beautiful, still raw, still treasured memories, most especially:



Her body, prone over mine,
was the climax of make-believe death.

and


I hold picture hearts and hope Ellie
isn't chasing diamonds in light dimmed
by the blue smoke of someone whose pretend
is all about his weak hand and bluff.

[DocHeart]

Such well-drawn and beautiful memories, DanBierce, even if "corrupt with shuffled recall". The wish completes the poem beautifully, it's the activation of the feelings stirred by the randomly evoked reminiscence.

Immensely enjoyed.

[Buh4Bee]

Could the memory be more sweet? It brings a smile to my face to think of such a time. Lovely and precious memory.

[MorpheusSandman]

This is wonderful Dan; That second stanza especially reverberates with and conjures up memories of my own childhood. My favorite part is:

We used our mouths
to make sound-effects of war
behind walls of our imagined Alamo.

[a_little_wisp]

Oh, boy, does someone remember the Alamo. (Sorry, bad joke-- I'm infamous for those.)

The last four lines were brilliant.

I can see why you often think of Ellie, and I'm sure she knows best who the real men are. What a vivid story you've created in such a short amount of time! I envy you for that ability, and for your easy use of metaphor to create raw, real, images. A couple holding out against the real world behind the strong walls of fantasy.... I can't touch the center of this, but I thank you for allowing me to skim the surface. Beautiful.

I think I'll go searching back for more of your poems! I love this.

[DanBierce]

Thanks for all the kind responses, folks. Appreciate it. :)