The Dream and its Dreaming

[TheFifthElement]

Once I dreamed the world.
I dreamed the universe,
vast and dark;
and the stars, burning,
like a proof of love
so potent that their light
shattered the illusion of night.
I dreamed you.

I dreamed of life
sluicing through time’s
open wound, filling the space
with a voice singing:
joy, sorrow, ecstasy, doom –
singing with one voice.

I dreamed the end.

I dreamed truth
and made it into a puzzle
only a child could solve.
I dreamed abstinence
and made it addictive.
I dreamed hope as an infinitely swollen pool.

I am the silence, the darkness
and everything in between.
I am the dream.

[MorpheusSandman]

I really, really love this one! Those second and third stanzas are just superb and the last really brings it home. The only thing I would change is to remove the last line; I like ending on "everything in between". Leave it to the reader to figure the last line out for themselves.

[blazeofglory]

I like this poem. particularly when you said I dreamed and I am the dream.

[paperleaves]

I love this as well....

p.s.
I also love your Mononoke avatar!

[blazeofglory]

This is really a great poem; and it has the stuff rare in other poems, the spiritual kind

[MorpheusSandman]

I also love your Mononoke avatar!I should've mentioned that too seeing as it's one of my favorite films!

[haymanali]

Excellent, litterally magnificent.

'I am the silence, the darkness
and everything in between.
I am the dream.'

And, this final stanza is a wonderful, meaningful and philosophical one.

[Pendragon]

I am the silence, the darkness
and everything in between.
I am the dream.

An amazing powerful ending to a completely captivating poem!

[dibyendra]

I dreamed of life
sluicing through time’s
open wound, filling the space
with a voice singing:
joy, sorrow, ecstasy, doom –
singing with one voice.

I dreamed the end.


So lovely and powerful poem of yours, Fifth! Nice to see you again!

[Virgil]

Very good poem Fifth. I does have an echo of religion in it, though I'm not sure if you meant it to. If you didn't mean to have a religious layer to the poem, you may have to rethink that wonderful ending. There is no other way around that conclusion but to associate it to the Gospel of John with the famous "I am" phrases of Jesus. "I am the bread of life," I am the light of the world," "I am the good shepheerd," "I am the ressurection" and there are even more i think. Actually it goes back to Exudus where God tells Moses that his name is "I am." So there is a whole tradition to that "I am" phrasing that would follow the poem, whether you want to or not. I would keep it and keep the religion in it. "I am the silence," "I am the dream." It really works!

By the way, I've always wanted to use that "I am" phrasing in a poem and have never had the opportunity. ;)

Oh by the way is "sluicing" a typo? Should it have been "slicing?" To my surprise there is a word "sluicing" and it kind of fits, though I think "slicing" would be better.

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks everyone :)

Virgil - I did intend a spiritual element to the poem, to be intepreted, I guess, however you wish. But definitely it was spiritual. The reference to the dream comes from Lost Paradise in which there is some discussion around the Aboriginal beliefs of the Dreaming, which you can read about here (or in Lost Paradise, if you decide to read it!): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamtime One thing which came across very well in the book is this idea that the 'dream' or 'dreaming' can mean many things. That really stuck with me.

I did mean sluicing. I was looking for something which was at once fluid and confined. Sluicing worked for me :D

[firefangled]

Fifth, i don't get around here as much as I'd like to. Glad I got to see this poem before it passed into the depths of Person Poetry.

I am reading Sharon Olds's latest book One Secret Thing. Your poem reminds me of her "Everything" the first poem in the book.

I agree with Virgil about the religious connotations and I would not recommend changing a thing.

For me, the implications of sluicing work very well in your context of time.

I enjoyed this poem very much.

[Lokasenna]

That's a superb poem, well done! That last stanza really stood out with force.

[qimissung]

Beautiful. I wouldn't change a thing...maybe if you liked it the last line could read "I am the dreaming and the dream..."

Just a thought. It's simply marvelous, simply superb as it is. It's one of those poems that feel, when you write them, like they've already existed forever.

[blazeofglory]

Once I dreamed the world.
I am the silence, the darkness
and everything in between.
I am the dream.

This poem is very close to something I read in the Vedas or in eastern thought. In eastern thought the observer and the observed, the performer and the performed are not dual entities and there is no duality at all in point of fact. It is written in our scriptural texts that once one realize that the observer and the observed are not dual entities and part of the same thing or one and the same thing integrally there emerges enlightenment.

Your quote particularly I am the dream resembles this notion and here there is no distinction between the dreamer and the dream or the dreamed. This is a very subtle issue in point of fact.

[AuntShecky]

I like this, Fifth, but I have no idea why. That's actually a good thing in this particular case. It's said that if you try to dissect a joke, you lose the humor. Same with the essence of this poem. I don't want to say anything about it. It's absolutely good the way it is.
PS I loved your use of "sluicing."

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks everyone.