Please review/edit my story, I need feedback.

[magdalenagirl]

Any help will be greatly appreciated.
click the link:
forgivenessday.html (http://htmlrobots.com/story/forgivenessday.html)

[Delta40]

I like how you combine both of their lives but I don't get the end and I read it twice to see what I was missing when their paths finally cross.

[magdalenagirl]

Well, their paths don't actually cross. They're at the same place, at the same time, but they don't interact in any way.
Thanks for reading!

[Delta40]

oh! well then now I get it. I do like the crossed interaction and you have to be careful about format layout so the reader doesn't get confused. I don't have the experience to offer tips on this. I like the tale tho!