O.d.

[drakemortuare13]

I could not bear to see the sight
Gone form her eyes, life's beautiful light
Cold, pale, and dead she lay
The vile syringe still in her vein

I startled awake from the horrible nightmare
In my mind, I could still see her empty stare
Shaken, I was, and drenched in cold sweat
Had my heart not been stronger, surely, I would have wept

For such a sight, I wish never to see;
And the nightmare begone, forever form memory
As the sun rises, I kneel an pray
That she's still alive so I can see her today

[cogs]

i would suggest stepping away from rhyme, then come back if you need. i like the ending, cause that would be the result of a close one dying.

[paperleaves]

This is a very sensitive composition. I like it, it expresses something haunting and sobering whilst describing inbetween the lines your sorrow...

thank you for sharing!

lovepaper

[drakemortuare13]

This is a very sensitive composition. I like it, it expresses something haunting and sobering whilst describing inbetween the lines your sorrow...

thank you for sharing!

lovepaper

Wow, I've never had a reply quite like this one. You pretty much read right to the heart of it all.

[blazeofglory]

The inner feeling is nicely presented

[MorpheusSandman]

I would also recommend either dumping the rhymes or make it metrical to fit them. My only other complaint is that it's a bit too... direct, for my taste.