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Biggus
10-20-2009, 09:05 AM
THE LONDON EYE

The London eye
Is a giant wheel
All white and bright
And made of steel
It’s slowly turning
Round and round
Offering views of London
Above the ground
Famous landmarks and
Sights dramatic
The nations history
Panoramic
Old visitors express
Sentiment
In children’s faces
Wonderment
But all agree
It’s worth the fee
To ride the wheel
The sights to see

GIRL ON HORSEBACK

Elegant and beautiful I thought
Admiring the girl on the horse
I couldn’t take my eyes off her
No glance back at me of course

She sits in the saddle quite aloof
A cut above us I’ve been told
A little bit snobby to tell the truth
But she is a beauty to behold

As for the horse she sits upon
A fine thoroughbred steed
A beast like she, looks down its nose
Because like her it’s of noble breed

You expect to be looked down upon
By a girl atop a noble horse
But when on terra firma
I would expect equality of course

But from her five foot one inch stance
She looked down on me once more
Which was quite a feat indeed for her
As I stand tall at six foot four

I'VE ALWAYS LOVED IT AT THE SEASIDE

I've always loved it at the seaside
But I don’t like dirty postcards
I don’t like kiss me quick hats
Or ice creams on the promenades

I don’t like the sand in the picnic
Or the feel of dry salt on my skin
I don’t like the smell of the seaweeds
Or the sound of seagulls screaming

I don’t like the amusement arcades
And I don’t like the movement of the tide
I don’t like to sit in the deckchairs
I've always loved it at the seaside

OUT IN THE COUNTRY

Driving down country lanes
Top down, wind in my hair
The sun gracing the sky
The wind set fair
The smell of hay,
Freshly mowed
Beasts in the fields
Beyond hedgerows
Blue cloudless skies,
On a glorious summer’s day,
The only blot being
The cyclists in my way

MARS WALK

After many years of trying
And years of deep space flying
After journeying across the stars
We finally land a man on Mars

He begins his walk at sunrise
And then he finds to his surprise
After exploring near and far
An Irish pub and a burger bar

I LOVE IT AT THE SEASIDE

I love it at the seaside out of season
When the bathers are not there
The beaches are no longer sun kissed
The sands are empty and bare

I love it at the seaside
On a bright sunny winters day
When you can stroll along
With out people getting in the way

You pick your way along the shore
Picking up driftwood and shells
Skim stones across the water
Without soliciting angry yells

I love it at the seaside
The deck chairs are all stored away
On the sea front all is quiet
And the car park is free all day

I love it at the seaside
The shops are shut and battened down
All the amusement arcades are shut
But not the Rose and Crown

OUT IN THE COUNTRY, AGAIN

When driving the byways
Travelling far and wide
Whether the lakes or the peaks
Or any of the countryside,
One thing that’s guaranteed
To frustrate the driving clan
And cause them to become irate
Is to get stuck behind a caravan

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL

One in five bad accidents
Are caused it seems
By drivers who drift off
To the land of dreams
But drivers who fall
Asleep at the wheel
Are the lesser evil
I’m inclined to feel
Because the simple fact
That makes me quake
Is that four out of five
Are wide awake

AM I BOVVERED

She drove in the exit as I drove out
And I hit her car with a mighty clout
With a chorus of colourful language
She got out to inspect the damage
Her hair was pulled back from her face
Eyes bulging as if sprayed with mace
Skin tighter than the string of a bow
As if she’d had her head out the window
I wasn’t sure if she was injured or ok
Or if her face always looked that way
I inquired if she was injured or hurt
Her response was certainly quite curt
Then I pointed out she was at fault
And she reared up like an angry colt
We exchange details insurance and such
And got in my car and wished her luck
I pointed out her horse like behaviour
And the extent of her driving failure
She was a very long way past miffed
The angry girl with the Croydon facelift

CRASH LOCATION

On the M25 just beyond Dartford
She lost control of her car and crashed
Hitting the barrier with great force
Then came rest with the car smashed
It happened close to where she lived
She was nearly home, not far to go
But she sat trapped in her crumpled car
Covered in blood from head to toe
The paramedic attending the crash
Examined her as a matter of urgency
But apart from the blood covering her
He was at a loss to find any injury
“Where are you bleeding from?”
He asked the girl in the battered Ford
Slightly annoyed the girl responded
“I’m from bleeding Romford”