The Sun

[DanBierce]

Crows are panting
like small feathered dogs
as Pedro's sweat falls on the handle
of his lawnmower. A local wino
shuffles along; his eyes meet
the sidewalk's rude but tidy glare.

The plague of dandelions
in the neighbor's yard
grabs rays while the grabbing
is good and creeps to his open door
as a witness to the mental beating
he gives his wife. He's

too starved for air to swing his hands
towards her face while Venus and Mars
scream "fire!"
as they circle the sun.

[cogs]

why the wino? this is very likeable... it's like a daytime side-building art... pedro and all the elements here freeze framed.

[DanBierce]

Why the wino? Well, I was him many years ago, and the glare of the sun off sidewalks tortured my hung-over eyes as I walked along. I always wanted to put that in a poem, so I did. Glad you find this "likeable." Thanks.

[~Sophia~]

and I like it too! A lot of truth is said in jest!


too starved for air to swing his hands
towards her face while Venus and Mars
scream "fire!"
as they circle the sun.

LOL

[Pendragon]

Crows are panting
like small feathered dogs


The plague of dandelions
in the neighbor's yard
grabs rays while the grabbing
is good and creeps to his open door


Love these images. Are not crows some of the most aggravating birds, and dandelion a most troublesome weed!

[DanBierce]

Thanks for reading, you guys. Crows don't actually bother me at all. People, on the other hand...

[TheFifthElement]

This is a wicked poem that grabs with that opening line:

Crows are panting
like small feathered dogs
as Pedro's sweat falls on the handle
of his lawnmower.
Portents of doom! I love the image of crows as small feathered dogs.

I wasn't sure if this:

The plague of dandelions
in the neighbor's yard
grabs rays while the grabbing
is good and creeps to his open door

should be 'grab' and 'creep' as opposed to 'grabs' and 'creeps'? Is it one creeps and several creep? I can't remember. But anyway, the ordinary dandelions creep in the door to view a terrible scene of domestic violence, mental, emotional, I guess it's the same thing. Powerful poetry.