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JosphTheGodless
10-14-2009, 04:43 AM
Hey guys, I have finally decided to pick up a pen again. This time around I thought it'd be fun to play around with some ottava rima, a style I've enjoyed reading lately. For those that don't know, ottava rima is composed of pentameter lines with a rhyme scheme of ABABABCC (although this piece does not always stick to strict pentameter). It's a pretty simple poem, the first stanza starts off by talking about how I haven't taken a crack at poetry in a few years, and the apprehension that goes along with that. Then it goes on to talk about some of my favorite poets (none are mentioned by name though, ya gotta figure it out! [they're all pretty easy]) and how they too may have struggled with some feelings of inadequacy when tackling their great masterpieces, and tries to find some comfort in that. By the end I have found some solace and hopefully can continue writing without hating it all so much that I throw it away (as has hitherto been the case). Anyways, enough ranting, hope ya like it, any feedback is welcome.




When I consider all that has transpired
E'er since my burgeoning attempts at verse,
I'm doubtful as to how I'll be inspired,
And dread these verdant verses will be worse!
Then memory invokes those names admired
In epochs past, to mitigate this curse;
In recollecting their perennial treasures,
I hope to take recuperative measures.


Did e'er the goddess' song alluring cease
For that immortal Grecian bard of yore
When writing out the death of Ilium's peace
And all the grim atrocities of War;
Or were those powers only to increase
To tell the hardships that Ulysses bore?
Perhaps in trying times he would relent
In face of such a daunting argument.


Or when that Florentine recalled his quest
Through realms ethereal by divine decree;
Were all those rhymes on hand at his behest,
Or was the path more difficult to see?
How did he apprehend this final test
To guarantee his immortality?
This lofty theme in any other hand
Would surely have fell short of its demand.


And lest I be another to forget
The greatest overshadowed English mind
That told us how our Father did beget
Our sorrows, and left Paradise behind,
I must recall the blind, divine poet;
There's never been another of his kind.
My own inadequacies I feel most
When reading he who taught the Holy Ghost.


If in my finite days I could achieve
A fraction of what these immortals claim,
I'd be much less reluctant to take leave
Of this beloved Earth; this goodly frame.
No longer shall I let myself believe
My lesser part; who would my verse defame.
So on the whole I'd say this meditation
Was quite successful, by my estimation.

Pryderi Agni
10-14-2009, 07:56 AM
WOW. Awesome, man! That is perfect!

One correction, though: I think you should replace the semicolon with a comma in the fifth from last line; it'd read better, I promise.

armen_r10
10-14-2009, 03:20 PM
Homer, Dante, Milton?
O wasn't the last but a simpliton?


Tastes differ ;D.

JosphTheGodless
10-14-2009, 03:40 PM
Ha yes they do. I chose to write about Milton instead of Shakespeare because I feel like he doesn't get the recognition he deserves, and is continually forced to live on under Shakespeare's mighty shadow.

armen_r10
10-14-2009, 05:04 PM
Ha yes they do. I chose to write about Milton instead of Shakespeare because I feel like he doesn't get the recognition he deserves, and is continually forced to live on under Shakespeare's mighty shadow.

Maybe because Milton's greatest work is but a imitation from the Bible?
;D
Well, no:that sounds too harsh. The plot might be from the bible, but the style is his own. I do like Milton's rhymings, though.
The reason, I think, that he is overshadowed by Shakespeare is that he didn't, like the latter, do anything "innovative". Milton's did not bring much "change". Dante's work was almost revolutionary because, aside from his poetic mastery, he was one of the first to write in vernacular. Milton is one of those great but not much innovative writers, like Longfellow. That's why those like Shakespeare, Pound, Eliot, etc. are more appreciated today, they brought "change".

BTW, why am I writing these? :)
Because this is much more amusing than writing an essay about some stupid Holliwood movie (which is what I am supposed to be doing now, in a computer lab in college—the movie industry stinks when it comes to writing about it—have a nice day . . .—but—O O O O that Shakespeherian Rag!)

BTW#2, would you mind checking out my poem? I rarely try to write poems in English, but this one didn't come out too bad I think. Thanks.
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47468