will she?

[cogs]

he's waiting until
she sees his craft,
he had cryptic, yet truthfully,
intimated and painted
a picture of the pair
they may later make;

until she sees the weary
and relatively old man,
who couldn't possibly match
the lively beauty she is;
until she swallows the secret untruth-
they're no match at all,
conforming to predefined,
undefined propriety;

until, self-revoltingly, she
becomes what he never will-
a denier of that which asks no age,
begs no boundaries,
overlooks deficits
that hinder the way,
that easily overthrows obstacles,
and tarries for truth,
like him, waiting patiently,
for love

[~Sophia~]

I like this cogs. I read it as a May/September unrequited love musing (of course, that might be way off). I stumbled on a few words for no reason other than personal preference so that doesn't count.

All in all, very provoking!

[cogs]

why the months? the words you would use, i'd like to know.
i had trouble here with the first stanza, because i wanted to show his innocent seduction, his intent to put his best foot forward to someone he cares about, without a guilty conscience that she may mistake his good intentions, for just a man using his advanced experience to influence someone less experienced
(it was even hard for me to put that last sentence into words). after all, he loves her, or at least has a crush. i should have centered on his fear more. their relationship was assumed, but should have been explained more also.

[~Sophia~]

The months because to me the poem read as though he is much older than she which is what gives him the experience and also, would be the reason you wrote " propriety".

The word cryptic I thought should be cryptically (past tense used with "had")

I did not like the sound of self-revoltingly. I might have written something like "with revulsion she"

[cogs]

thanks for responding... do you mean that may comes before september, so may is older? yes, i thought 'cryptically' too, to match truthfully, but i didn't like the rhythm, so erred on the side of preference, lol.
'self-revoltingly'... yes, needed a phrase to explain her not being true to herself, like revolting against what she knew was true, they could have a life of love together. i didn't want her to revile herself, so i'll have to find another phrase. you picked up on everything i labored over.

[~Sophia~]

Actually I think I was wrong about the months. I believe it's called a "May/December romance" May being a feminine spring month (early in the year) and December a masculine month ( at the end of the year).

The word revolting to me in this case came across as loathing so, if your intent was more of a "revolution or realization or revelation", then no... it's not clear. I'm sure you will come up with the perfect phrasing!