A Song of Tomorrow

[Lokasenna]

As I'm sure many of you are aware, I am an Old Norse fanatic. This has extended to me even attempting to emulate the literature - I am currently slowly working on a saga-style work. Like Tolkein before me, I want my heavily Norse inspired world to be filled with poetry and song. This is one example - I have endeavoured to create an old folksong about the end of the world, as might be sung by a people who are morbidly preoccupied with fate and doom. There are three maidens, the Nornir, who govern fate. They are Wæs, whose book contains the entirety of history, Sie, who lights torches to see into the future, and Beo, whose sword divides the present from the past and the future; the song is about them.

Sorry for the long preamble:

When all the world to ash has turned,
When all the endless sky has burned,
When Death his due has sorely earned,
Then will the maidens weep?

If all our farms are turned to dust,
If all our weapons gone to rust,
If all our hope betrays its trust,
Then shall the maidens sleep?

Bright Wæs her book will shut up tight,
Fair Sie her final torch shall light,
Bold Beo's sword will shatter right.
Fly they to darkness deep?


How was that? Did it sound authentic? I wished to establish a pattern of repetition, and also lots of opposite imagery therein. Does it work?

[DanBierce]

Fine idea. I'm wondering, though, if the first quatrain makes sense:

"When all the world to ash has turned,
When all the endless sky has burned,
When Death his due has sorely earned,
Then will the maidens weep?"

*I don't understand how "maidens" or anyone else would survive such a catastrophy.

Keep at it!