Monamy
10-05-2009, 02:23 AM
It was chilly this morning…
Strange, I'm breathing out clouds as I shiver sitting on the white wooden bench. I was crossing my arms, rubbing them up and down in a feeble attempt to keep my body warm. I used to see it many times in movies and comic books, just to realize now that it really doesn't have any effect whatsoever. Nothing would work when you're frozen, literally, from head to toe.
"Cold?"
I turned my eyesight a little to the right, for my head didn't want to make any other movements besides shaking whenever a cold breeze brushed against it. I eyed Jaques in frustration; No, I'm not cold, I just LOVE to shake my body as if I was... pssh~ He smiled, then extended his arm behind my shoulders and pulled me close. I allowed myself to lean on his chest, wondering at the same time how can this lecherous lizard keep its warmth about itself.
"Good Lord, you're freezing, young lady!"
A small light chuckle escaped my trembling body; now I just remembered why I loved this one man. I relaxed my head on his heaving chest and closed my eyes, breathing out at my hands to at least 'feel' them. One of the many reasons why I hate leaving town is waiting for the train, the term 'waiting' never entered my head, even though I was forced to wait on many things in my life--Jaques is one hell of an example~♥ He even went to the trouble of buying me a book entitled "Patience and I", which I ended up decorating the living room with it after losing interest right behind the cover.
My thoughts were interrupted as his right hand began petting my hair, as if I was his kitten (not that I would mind, really). I missed this kind of attention so much, I wished with all my might for this moment to repeat itself and crash the flow of time.
"So are you here to wave me goodbye?"
I opened my eyes slightly, his hand didn't stop and kept on brushing at my long hair. I shook my head a bit, moaning…
"What kind of a wife would I be if I didn't?"
"I don't know, but you'd still be the one I loved and married, that's for sure."
"Be sure not to miss me much."
"… darling, quit the act, I know why you're here."
"…"
"Did your illness really get that bad?"
"It's ok, I'm satisfied... in your arms…"
He fill silent, his hand stopped moving and just rested atop my head.
"Does that mean... you have your ticket too?"
"…"
"You do, don't you?"
"Yes... yes, I do."
He sighed, and it got me disturbed for a bit. It's as if he doesn't want me with him, as if he was trying to push me away or leave me behind. I turned my head up and looked deep in his eyes.
"Don't you love me... anymore?"
"What are you saying, Sara? Of course, I still love you!"
He hugged me, a little tight but playfully sealing his forehead with mine. I staggered a bit in surprise, but calmed down and closed my eyes again as his voice whispered in my head.
"I always loved you, I still do, and forever will... nothing can change that!"
"Oh Jaques, I couldn't put it any better…"
He then pushed me softly away, I sat back straight as he stood, looking far to the misty distant. Soon, the chuguchugu sound emerged, and the faint figure of the train started to get bigger as the breaks creaked in my ears. The train finally stopped, and I stood near the love of my life and took his left arm as I rested my head on his shoulder.
The door facing us opened, and the train man stepped out and turned around, then looked at us both and uttered:
"Only you?"
Yes, the station was like an abandoned area. Even the man who was supposed to sell the tickets was sleeping like a dead person. Jaques smiled at him, he always knew a way to make every possible circumstance or occasion sound funny and amusing, and I bet me and him waiting for the train in this forsaken station alone was charming.
"I believe so…"
Jaques said, and stepped forward. I broke my hold on his arm and stood there, for God knows why I just wanted him to pull me with him to the train. He handed over his ticket to the train man, and - to my surprise - he just went inside and looked back at me, anticipating my turn.
"Well, miss?"
I turned to the train man as he spoke, he was extending his hand at me in eagerness. Oh, the ticket! I fetched my hand in my dress pocket and pulled it out from the corner. I kept staring at the ticket, still thinking about whether I should go or not.
"Honey, what's wrong?"
I lift my head up again and stared at his light blue sapphire eyes, and a tear rolled down. How I missed those eyes! I remained at my spot, as the train man asked me again for my ticket. Another gust of wind blew, and – realizing what I must do – I just raised my ticket up my head and… let go…
"Sara!"
Jaques called from the train, but didn't take one foot out, frozen in confusion. The train man, seeing that I lost my ticket, stopped asking and simply walked inside the train again. I stood there, looking at my Jaques with sad eyes as the honk exploded.
"Sara…"
"I'm sorry, my love. I just realized that I have to go back."
"You… just going to see me off?"
"I know it might sound selfish, but I'm scared too; I fear that I won't see you again now that I finally found you."
I started weeping, I covered my mouth in agony and my eyes swam in ponds of tears. He looked back at me, still confused, but finally managed a smile, then it turned to a really happy face.
"You silly girl, why are you crying then?"
"… I missed you so much."
He got off the train and hugged me close, I buried my face in his chest and hugged him back.
"But I'm always with you, you don't need to miss me."
"I'm so sorry, I need to head back."
"Then that should be a good thing, right? Stop crying."
We eased the hug a bit and he stared in my eyes and gave me a warm smile, pointing at my heart.
"Believe me, I'm always in there…"
Then his hand rose to my forehead and poked it once.
"… and if you don't find me there, I'll be here."
I giggled weakly at his childish remarks.
"Isn't that right?"
"So true, honey… so true…"
"You need to live your life, Sara."
"That's what I realized, some poor illness won't be the end of me!"
"That's the spirit!"
He closed his eyes in a satisfied beam that lift my strength tenfold.
"Don't worry, Sara. I assure you that I'll be waiting, and forever waiting for you."
"Jack…"
"But you need to live, Sara. You have to live for their sake."
"I'll… I'll do my best!"
_________________________
"Mom, mom wake up! Mom!"
I woke up on my child's voice, and just as I stretched my legs and arms I realized where I was. There's only one place where you can smell this dusty and dirty air.
"Oh man, we missed the train, bro."
"Oh no!"
"Couldn't you wake mom any sooner?"
"Hey, I didn't see you helping at all!"
I was sitting there, on a white wooden bench, and a shivery chill crawled my body instantly. I rubbed both my upper arms and shoulders.
"brrrrrr~"
"Mom, we're sorry, but the train… we just missed it."
"Yeah, it was all Kevin's fault."
"Wha—hey, Claus! You didn't even help me in waking mom!"
"I was trying to stall the train for you to get enough time, moron!"
"Liar, liar, pants on fire!"
I stood up, feeling so out of shape for sleeping on a wooden bench, and patted their little heads.
"It's alright, kids. Don't fight, we'll get the next train."
They both turned to me in surprise, and just… stared at me like some kind of stranger.
"…what?"
"Mom, this is the first time!"
"First time what?"
"The first time we miss the train and you don't go on shouting and cursing at it."
"Uhh… yeah, I suppose I was a little too tipsy before."
"Mom, now you sound so cool!"
"Yeah, and you look so much better than before!"
"Yeah, mom! You look like wonder woman now!"
They both smiled in pure innocent admiration, I smirked at myself a bit; it sounds really silly when you finally enter adulthood, but I guess the smallest things look different for kids.
"So… I'll go to the ticket window and tell the man what happened."
"Wait, Kevin, you need money to buy new—"
"Oh, that's right."
"Let mommy do that for you, ok? You boys just wait like good kids."
"Mom?"
"What is it, hon?"
"Can I… err…"
Kevin choke on his words and felt a little embarrassed, soon Claus began laughing at his younger brother and started jumping around him.
"He wants to go to the AR-CADES~ He wants to go to the AR-CADES~"
"Hey, shuddup, Claus! I bet you want to go just as much as I do."
I sighed as they began fighting again, and this time I tried to be a little… educative…
"KIDS~!!"
They both froze, lowered their little heads expecting a slam, and then raised their eye sight to mine slowly in confusion and guilt.
"For Santa's sake, you both are brothers, try to feel what that means."
"… yes, mom."
"I'm sorry, mom. Please, don't be angry at us."
I bent my knees to level myself with them, and started with a much calmed tone.
"It's ok, Kevin, I'm not angry. If you want to go to the arcades, then I don't mind."
"Really?!"
"Hey, we're stuck in the station 'til the next train comes anyway, young man."
"Yippee!"
"Claus, go with your brother, you both keep an eye on each others, ok?"
"Come with us, mom!"
"Yeah, come with us! There are lots of interesting games there!"
"Now, now…"
I punched their foreheads playfully and got a cute couple of 'ow' in response.
"You know that mommy hates them loud machines, never been a big fan."
"Oh, that's right."
"Well, we can't just leave you here alone, mom."
"Don't worry about me, kids. You just go and have a good time, I'll come to you once the train arrives, ok? Now here…"
"Wow, 10 dollars!"
"Don't get any funny ideas; I don't have anything lower right now. And you don't NEED to spend them all on those games!"
"Yeah, ok! Thanks, mom! You're the best!"
"Yeah, and the coolest too!"
"Aren't I always?"
Both of them then rushed like small gazelles that just learned how to hop and jump around, I sighed calmly at the sight of my two little men.
"They sure surprise me sometimes, but then again, they're just kids…"
I sat back again at the white wooden bench after getting the new tickets, and began drifting in thought. I opened my medicine bottle and gulped two tablets, how I hated their taste; like a rotten rat on a dusty plate (that is, if you ever get the honor to taste something like that), but I was thankful for the clear effect they have on my illness. I remained there, gazing at the iron tracks, and chuckled at the irony of missing the train in my dream and in reality. Jaques, I'm going to live… I'm going to live for these little angels, please lend me your strength. It wasn't my time yet, but I was so happy that I got to see you one more time. And now I know that you're always with me, so I won't feel frustrated or depressed again.
I took a deep breath and gawked at the white-filled cloudy sky above me, and a great sensation of appreciation and satisfaction filled my soul…
For once… I was happy to miss the train…
...
But then again… I hate waiting, darn it I'm so pissed! :mad:
Strange, I'm breathing out clouds as I shiver sitting on the white wooden bench. I was crossing my arms, rubbing them up and down in a feeble attempt to keep my body warm. I used to see it many times in movies and comic books, just to realize now that it really doesn't have any effect whatsoever. Nothing would work when you're frozen, literally, from head to toe.
"Cold?"
I turned my eyesight a little to the right, for my head didn't want to make any other movements besides shaking whenever a cold breeze brushed against it. I eyed Jaques in frustration; No, I'm not cold, I just LOVE to shake my body as if I was... pssh~ He smiled, then extended his arm behind my shoulders and pulled me close. I allowed myself to lean on his chest, wondering at the same time how can this lecherous lizard keep its warmth about itself.
"Good Lord, you're freezing, young lady!"
A small light chuckle escaped my trembling body; now I just remembered why I loved this one man. I relaxed my head on his heaving chest and closed my eyes, breathing out at my hands to at least 'feel' them. One of the many reasons why I hate leaving town is waiting for the train, the term 'waiting' never entered my head, even though I was forced to wait on many things in my life--Jaques is one hell of an example~♥ He even went to the trouble of buying me a book entitled "Patience and I", which I ended up decorating the living room with it after losing interest right behind the cover.
My thoughts were interrupted as his right hand began petting my hair, as if I was his kitten (not that I would mind, really). I missed this kind of attention so much, I wished with all my might for this moment to repeat itself and crash the flow of time.
"So are you here to wave me goodbye?"
I opened my eyes slightly, his hand didn't stop and kept on brushing at my long hair. I shook my head a bit, moaning…
"What kind of a wife would I be if I didn't?"
"I don't know, but you'd still be the one I loved and married, that's for sure."
"Be sure not to miss me much."
"… darling, quit the act, I know why you're here."
"…"
"Did your illness really get that bad?"
"It's ok, I'm satisfied... in your arms…"
He fill silent, his hand stopped moving and just rested atop my head.
"Does that mean... you have your ticket too?"
"…"
"You do, don't you?"
"Yes... yes, I do."
He sighed, and it got me disturbed for a bit. It's as if he doesn't want me with him, as if he was trying to push me away or leave me behind. I turned my head up and looked deep in his eyes.
"Don't you love me... anymore?"
"What are you saying, Sara? Of course, I still love you!"
He hugged me, a little tight but playfully sealing his forehead with mine. I staggered a bit in surprise, but calmed down and closed my eyes again as his voice whispered in my head.
"I always loved you, I still do, and forever will... nothing can change that!"
"Oh Jaques, I couldn't put it any better…"
He then pushed me softly away, I sat back straight as he stood, looking far to the misty distant. Soon, the chuguchugu sound emerged, and the faint figure of the train started to get bigger as the breaks creaked in my ears. The train finally stopped, and I stood near the love of my life and took his left arm as I rested my head on his shoulder.
The door facing us opened, and the train man stepped out and turned around, then looked at us both and uttered:
"Only you?"
Yes, the station was like an abandoned area. Even the man who was supposed to sell the tickets was sleeping like a dead person. Jaques smiled at him, he always knew a way to make every possible circumstance or occasion sound funny and amusing, and I bet me and him waiting for the train in this forsaken station alone was charming.
"I believe so…"
Jaques said, and stepped forward. I broke my hold on his arm and stood there, for God knows why I just wanted him to pull me with him to the train. He handed over his ticket to the train man, and - to my surprise - he just went inside and looked back at me, anticipating my turn.
"Well, miss?"
I turned to the train man as he spoke, he was extending his hand at me in eagerness. Oh, the ticket! I fetched my hand in my dress pocket and pulled it out from the corner. I kept staring at the ticket, still thinking about whether I should go or not.
"Honey, what's wrong?"
I lift my head up again and stared at his light blue sapphire eyes, and a tear rolled down. How I missed those eyes! I remained at my spot, as the train man asked me again for my ticket. Another gust of wind blew, and – realizing what I must do – I just raised my ticket up my head and… let go…
"Sara!"
Jaques called from the train, but didn't take one foot out, frozen in confusion. The train man, seeing that I lost my ticket, stopped asking and simply walked inside the train again. I stood there, looking at my Jaques with sad eyes as the honk exploded.
"Sara…"
"I'm sorry, my love. I just realized that I have to go back."
"You… just going to see me off?"
"I know it might sound selfish, but I'm scared too; I fear that I won't see you again now that I finally found you."
I started weeping, I covered my mouth in agony and my eyes swam in ponds of tears. He looked back at me, still confused, but finally managed a smile, then it turned to a really happy face.
"You silly girl, why are you crying then?"
"… I missed you so much."
He got off the train and hugged me close, I buried my face in his chest and hugged him back.
"But I'm always with you, you don't need to miss me."
"I'm so sorry, I need to head back."
"Then that should be a good thing, right? Stop crying."
We eased the hug a bit and he stared in my eyes and gave me a warm smile, pointing at my heart.
"Believe me, I'm always in there…"
Then his hand rose to my forehead and poked it once.
"… and if you don't find me there, I'll be here."
I giggled weakly at his childish remarks.
"Isn't that right?"
"So true, honey… so true…"
"You need to live your life, Sara."
"That's what I realized, some poor illness won't be the end of me!"
"That's the spirit!"
He closed his eyes in a satisfied beam that lift my strength tenfold.
"Don't worry, Sara. I assure you that I'll be waiting, and forever waiting for you."
"Jack…"
"But you need to live, Sara. You have to live for their sake."
"I'll… I'll do my best!"
_________________________
"Mom, mom wake up! Mom!"
I woke up on my child's voice, and just as I stretched my legs and arms I realized where I was. There's only one place where you can smell this dusty and dirty air.
"Oh man, we missed the train, bro."
"Oh no!"
"Couldn't you wake mom any sooner?"
"Hey, I didn't see you helping at all!"
I was sitting there, on a white wooden bench, and a shivery chill crawled my body instantly. I rubbed both my upper arms and shoulders.
"brrrrrr~"
"Mom, we're sorry, but the train… we just missed it."
"Yeah, it was all Kevin's fault."
"Wha—hey, Claus! You didn't even help me in waking mom!"
"I was trying to stall the train for you to get enough time, moron!"
"Liar, liar, pants on fire!"
I stood up, feeling so out of shape for sleeping on a wooden bench, and patted their little heads.
"It's alright, kids. Don't fight, we'll get the next train."
They both turned to me in surprise, and just… stared at me like some kind of stranger.
"…what?"
"Mom, this is the first time!"
"First time what?"
"The first time we miss the train and you don't go on shouting and cursing at it."
"Uhh… yeah, I suppose I was a little too tipsy before."
"Mom, now you sound so cool!"
"Yeah, and you look so much better than before!"
"Yeah, mom! You look like wonder woman now!"
They both smiled in pure innocent admiration, I smirked at myself a bit; it sounds really silly when you finally enter adulthood, but I guess the smallest things look different for kids.
"So… I'll go to the ticket window and tell the man what happened."
"Wait, Kevin, you need money to buy new—"
"Oh, that's right."
"Let mommy do that for you, ok? You boys just wait like good kids."
"Mom?"
"What is it, hon?"
"Can I… err…"
Kevin choke on his words and felt a little embarrassed, soon Claus began laughing at his younger brother and started jumping around him.
"He wants to go to the AR-CADES~ He wants to go to the AR-CADES~"
"Hey, shuddup, Claus! I bet you want to go just as much as I do."
I sighed as they began fighting again, and this time I tried to be a little… educative…
"KIDS~!!"
They both froze, lowered their little heads expecting a slam, and then raised their eye sight to mine slowly in confusion and guilt.
"For Santa's sake, you both are brothers, try to feel what that means."
"… yes, mom."
"I'm sorry, mom. Please, don't be angry at us."
I bent my knees to level myself with them, and started with a much calmed tone.
"It's ok, Kevin, I'm not angry. If you want to go to the arcades, then I don't mind."
"Really?!"
"Hey, we're stuck in the station 'til the next train comes anyway, young man."
"Yippee!"
"Claus, go with your brother, you both keep an eye on each others, ok?"
"Come with us, mom!"
"Yeah, come with us! There are lots of interesting games there!"
"Now, now…"
I punched their foreheads playfully and got a cute couple of 'ow' in response.
"You know that mommy hates them loud machines, never been a big fan."
"Oh, that's right."
"Well, we can't just leave you here alone, mom."
"Don't worry about me, kids. You just go and have a good time, I'll come to you once the train arrives, ok? Now here…"
"Wow, 10 dollars!"
"Don't get any funny ideas; I don't have anything lower right now. And you don't NEED to spend them all on those games!"
"Yeah, ok! Thanks, mom! You're the best!"
"Yeah, and the coolest too!"
"Aren't I always?"
Both of them then rushed like small gazelles that just learned how to hop and jump around, I sighed calmly at the sight of my two little men.
"They sure surprise me sometimes, but then again, they're just kids…"
I sat back again at the white wooden bench after getting the new tickets, and began drifting in thought. I opened my medicine bottle and gulped two tablets, how I hated their taste; like a rotten rat on a dusty plate (that is, if you ever get the honor to taste something like that), but I was thankful for the clear effect they have on my illness. I remained there, gazing at the iron tracks, and chuckled at the irony of missing the train in my dream and in reality. Jaques, I'm going to live… I'm going to live for these little angels, please lend me your strength. It wasn't my time yet, but I was so happy that I got to see you one more time. And now I know that you're always with me, so I won't feel frustrated or depressed again.
I took a deep breath and gawked at the white-filled cloudy sky above me, and a great sensation of appreciation and satisfaction filled my soul…
For once… I was happy to miss the train…
...
But then again… I hate waiting, darn it I'm so pissed! :mad: