Umbrafalx
09-28-2009, 02:08 AM
Everyone was looking at her as she weaved through the crowd. Searching, looking at each face in turn then with dismay realising it was no the one she was looking for. She searched every room. She didn’t think she wanted to find him but she knew one thing for certain. She had to know for sure. This would kill her; it was all a matter of time. Eventually she would give up. She loved him, but without his love she would be without this world. Tears streaked down her flawless face, mascara painting her pale cheeks like an oil spill choking a sunny northern beach. Her prey still eluded her. Why was she still doing this, she should of given up long ago. She had an urge, a compulsion, to check the garden shed, an unknown force pulling her to her childhood escape. A place she had felt safe when her parents were arguing, their scream barley pierced the thin walls. Maybe her sanctuary would protect her once again, but how could it protect her from the thoughts inside her head? She ran, spilling drinks and pushing past young couples leaning on door frames. She crossed the yard, a lite splatter of rain patted against her skin. Standing in the doorway, she stared at the floor in front of her lit by a sudden bolt of lightning that split the sky. Her voice had left her; she managed a small choking cry. There on the floor, her prey, her love, was tangled with a younger blonde, lips locked. The booming thunder drew them back from the well of passion that they were drowning in. She ran. Blind. She had left her heart back there, she didn’t need it anymore.
Apologising, he disengaged. She was nothing to him, just a pile of pleasurable flesh. He walked out; he stopped and stared out at the house. Rain was crashing down, drenching him. She was no where to be seen. Where would she go, she couldn’t have gone far. He walked up the back stairs, everyone was staring at him, and they all knew what he had done. They probably assumed he had done this before, which he had. He couldn’t stop himself, he was addicted. There were quick hurt glances, long deadly glares and a few confused looks that belonged somewhere in between. They all loved her, everyone did. She would give anything for them. Why did she have to choose him, why wouldn’t she give up on him? As much as it would hurt to let her go, it hurt him more to tear at her heart until the constant excitable beating slowed to a tired, disjointed thud. If she forgave him again, he would change. It wasn’t like he had never promised her this before. But he had never promised himself this before. How could he hurt that selfless girl with is own lustful, selfish greed. He pushed through the crowd; he felt their eyes burning into the back of his skull, the fear of staring into those dark eyes had vanished as soon as he was looking in the opposite direction. He felt their hate, their disgust in him. That was one thing they all shared now, their unanimous loathing of him. He understood and he couldn’t blame them. He probably hated himself more then they ever could. He couldn’t see her in the crowd, and nobody was giving him any indication of where she had gone. He slumped on the couch. A sick, tired pain pooled inside him, engulfing him in his own self repugnance, he was an abomination, a disease to his peers and a blighting curse on her heart.
She wept on the deserted, dilapidated gazebo. She had never been this afraid before, how could she fight the thoughts inside her head. She quivered as the notion of self conclusion passed through her head, it left a bittersweet after taste. She stood and walked to the edge of the patio and stared out into the rain. For what seemed to be eternity she considered her mortality. Casually she wiped away the black tears smudging the back of her hand. A fierce gust of wind sent a wall of water crashing into her. She didn’t flinch away as chill passed through her. Nothing had ever felt so real before, her blood surged to her face and a calm, deadly smirk stretched across her lips. She slowly walked back across the neatly trimmed lawn. Removing her shoes she let the grass tickle her feet. Had it always felt so enchanting? The rain drenched her, her white blouse sticking to her skin. She loved it, like nothing before. The clouds shifted and the crescent moon spilling a soft light over the yard. The house loomed above her; all the downstairs lights were on. Upstairs was forbidden to them, she had made that clear. A single couple was on the front deck, just sitting and talking on the hand rails. She didn’t recognise them from where she stood at the bottom of the stairs; she didn’t pay much attention to them anyway. Leisurely she walked up the stairs; a hush fell over the couple as they noticed her. As she walked through the door the hush followed her into the room. The all stared at her, someone muttered something but she didn’t hear it. She pushed though a group of boys from the year below her. Mounting the bottom stair she stopped, turned and surveyed the room. For a second she reconsidered, but it lingered only briefly. Her mind was made up, tonight would be the night, the final night. Those few second seemed like hours, their stares began to cut into her. Looking down, she quietly continued walking. That grin was still on her lips.
He didn’t notice the silence, or feel the stares. He was far away in an ocean of regret, despair and isolation. He felt so alone, he was inhuman, an alien to his peers and he knew it. Would he change? Could he change? He doubted it, but he could try. He rose, oblivious, he started walking. A quick walk, though without obvious purpose. Leaving the house, and crossing the lawn. He didn’t feel the rain that hammered down on him. He stood on the patio, some how aware that she was her only moments before. He felt her pain, he deserved it, welcomed it. Tears welled behind his eyes. He stood there watching the shadows, as they shifted in the poor light of the moon. Suddenly, he felt the pain subside, it was over. Tears rushed down his face, ignored, he made no effort to wipe them away. Humanity would go on; those who noticed his absence would welcome it.
Apologising, he disengaged. She was nothing to him, just a pile of pleasurable flesh. He walked out; he stopped and stared out at the house. Rain was crashing down, drenching him. She was no where to be seen. Where would she go, she couldn’t have gone far. He walked up the back stairs, everyone was staring at him, and they all knew what he had done. They probably assumed he had done this before, which he had. He couldn’t stop himself, he was addicted. There were quick hurt glances, long deadly glares and a few confused looks that belonged somewhere in between. They all loved her, everyone did. She would give anything for them. Why did she have to choose him, why wouldn’t she give up on him? As much as it would hurt to let her go, it hurt him more to tear at her heart until the constant excitable beating slowed to a tired, disjointed thud. If she forgave him again, he would change. It wasn’t like he had never promised her this before. But he had never promised himself this before. How could he hurt that selfless girl with is own lustful, selfish greed. He pushed through the crowd; he felt their eyes burning into the back of his skull, the fear of staring into those dark eyes had vanished as soon as he was looking in the opposite direction. He felt their hate, their disgust in him. That was one thing they all shared now, their unanimous loathing of him. He understood and he couldn’t blame them. He probably hated himself more then they ever could. He couldn’t see her in the crowd, and nobody was giving him any indication of where she had gone. He slumped on the couch. A sick, tired pain pooled inside him, engulfing him in his own self repugnance, he was an abomination, a disease to his peers and a blighting curse on her heart.
She wept on the deserted, dilapidated gazebo. She had never been this afraid before, how could she fight the thoughts inside her head. She quivered as the notion of self conclusion passed through her head, it left a bittersweet after taste. She stood and walked to the edge of the patio and stared out into the rain. For what seemed to be eternity she considered her mortality. Casually she wiped away the black tears smudging the back of her hand. A fierce gust of wind sent a wall of water crashing into her. She didn’t flinch away as chill passed through her. Nothing had ever felt so real before, her blood surged to her face and a calm, deadly smirk stretched across her lips. She slowly walked back across the neatly trimmed lawn. Removing her shoes she let the grass tickle her feet. Had it always felt so enchanting? The rain drenched her, her white blouse sticking to her skin. She loved it, like nothing before. The clouds shifted and the crescent moon spilling a soft light over the yard. The house loomed above her; all the downstairs lights were on. Upstairs was forbidden to them, she had made that clear. A single couple was on the front deck, just sitting and talking on the hand rails. She didn’t recognise them from where she stood at the bottom of the stairs; she didn’t pay much attention to them anyway. Leisurely she walked up the stairs; a hush fell over the couple as they noticed her. As she walked through the door the hush followed her into the room. The all stared at her, someone muttered something but she didn’t hear it. She pushed though a group of boys from the year below her. Mounting the bottom stair she stopped, turned and surveyed the room. For a second she reconsidered, but it lingered only briefly. Her mind was made up, tonight would be the night, the final night. Those few second seemed like hours, their stares began to cut into her. Looking down, she quietly continued walking. That grin was still on her lips.
He didn’t notice the silence, or feel the stares. He was far away in an ocean of regret, despair and isolation. He felt so alone, he was inhuman, an alien to his peers and he knew it. Would he change? Could he change? He doubted it, but he could try. He rose, oblivious, he started walking. A quick walk, though without obvious purpose. Leaving the house, and crossing the lawn. He didn’t feel the rain that hammered down on him. He stood on the patio, some how aware that she was her only moments before. He felt her pain, he deserved it, welcomed it. Tears welled behind his eyes. He stood there watching the shadows, as they shifted in the poor light of the moon. Suddenly, he felt the pain subside, it was over. Tears rushed down his face, ignored, he made no effort to wipe them away. Humanity would go on; those who noticed his absence would welcome it.