Prayer to a Star

[Bluebiird]

I wrote this today when trying to make up little nursery rhymes and songs for a story I'm planning set in a parallel world. I figured it might be useful to develop their culture and make them a bit more real.
The inhabitants of this world believe that everyone has a star watching over them so this is a child's prayer to their star (it later becomes a lullaby as well).

Prayer to a Star

Little star watching from on high,
Amid skies of cobalt blue,
Please keep watching over me,
And I will sing to you.

Even in the dawning day,
I know that you will light my way,
And even if I cannot see,
I know you're watching over me.

Thank you (this part is optional and is not added when sung as a lullaby)

I thought I'd post this and get other people's opinions and see if it needs improving.
Any feedback would be useful. Thanks for reading :).

Also, if I think of any more for this story I'll add them to this post and not start a new one :).

[balehead]

I love the whole idea; it's really interesting ... not knowing much about poetry, I'm in no position to offer advice on improvement that could be made to your poem, al i know is that i enjoyed it

[qimissung]

I do like it, it's ell-done. A caveat, though, since this is a parallel world, could this possibly have a little more substance? It is the kind of thing children in our universe would be taught, but shouldn't a parallel universe offer something a little different? Just a thought...

[Pendragon]

Don't take this wrong, I love the poem. What is wrong is that you use two different rhyme schemes in the two different stanzas of the same poem. When you choose a rhyme scheme, stick with it throughout the poem. Otherwise it is better not to rhyme at all...

[Bluebiird]

Don't take this wrong, I love the poem. What is wrong is that you use two different rhyme schemes in the two different stanzas of the same poem. When you choose a rhyme scheme, stick with it throughout the poem. Otherwise it is better not to rhyme at all...

I noticed that but I ignored it. I thought it would be a fun break a few rules of poetry :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

I noticed that but I ignored it. I thought it would be a fun break a few rules of poetry :)

The point being, I think, that this is a prayer expressed by a youngish person in your alternate universe, so I for one have no objection to him/her not being perfectly consistent in the rhyme scheme, and the over-all feeling of it is a credible representation of the naive voice of a child.