Behind Her Eyes

[Dark Muse]

Behind Her Eyes

She lanced me with chilled sea green eyes
eyes penetrating into my soul
my soul on her poisoned bed of roses
roses like mood stones shading her colors
colors as the shifting hues of the ocean
ocean waves ripple off her fingertips
fingertips which once my lips would kiss
kiss away the pain of her wrathful gaze
gaze into the tempest of her emotions
emotions she struggles to conceal
conceal the truth behind her veil
veil of lies she always hides behind
behind her smoky eyes I tremble
tremble in my need to be near you.

[stephofthenight]

WOW! I like the way you did this. Idk what kind of poetry it is but i think the formating of it was perfect for the poem. it gave me shivers. I like the way you ended it as well. very lovely and fluid :D

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much, it acutally is just something I was experimenting with, it isn't an acutal formal style.

[stephofthenight]

Well, it is still pretty amazing. And I think your experment on the style fits the poem very well.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you, I myself do enjoy how this one came out, and I might play around with this sort of structure again in the future.

[eyemaker]

I like this one DM.:)

[dibyendra]

eyes penetrating into my soul




colors as the shifting hues of the ocean
ocean waves ripple off her fingertips




gaze into the tempest of her emotions
emotions she struggles to conceal
conceal the truth behind her veil
veil of lies she always hides behind
behind her smoky eyes I tremble
tremble in my need to be near you.

I totally love this one as it is quite different in structure and loved the imageries as well, DM! Great!

[Dark Muse]

Thank you

[Leera]

Wow, this was just pure amazing.
Quite unusual, but breathtakingly beautiful.
Keep it going, you have extraordinary talent!