Missing you...

[ur_shadow89]

The first day when we met
I couldn’t believe that I was holding you,
My heart pounded as I looked at you
Finally it was me and you.

When I held your hand so tight
“This is it, this is real, what a sight!”,
It seems it was just a dream
A dream I wished that would never end.

Every moment spent with you was a bliss
I won’t forget that every look and every kiss,
Your warmth, your smile, your love
I wish I could keep it, I wish I could hold it.

Morning came with the aroma of your coffee
While we shared cheese bread and I have my cup of tea,
Then lunch came at past 2, sometimes we’ve forgot’n it too
Endless stories that kept our day busy,
While it rained outside so heavily.

We never wanted the day to end,
May it rain or shine, together we’ve spent,
As the dusk comes and the night stood still
We knew our time to part is coming near.

Moment by moment, we spent as if t’was our last
‘Cuz I wanted you to be happy and this I hope will last,
All I cared for was to be with you all day,
So I could let you feel that my love for you is real.

Then came the night before we part,
Silence filled the room, silence broke our hearts,
I gave you a token and there were tears in your eyes
I never wanted to see those, but I just held you close.

Alas, our parting time has come
I hope our short journey will be followed by another one,
We’ve said our goodbyes, but without tears in our eyes
But inside it was aching, hoping of no more goodbyes.

I miss you….
http://i692.photobucket.com/albums/vv285/dshadow_77/waiting.jpg

[selkies]

It's nice but it's in no way impressive.

I recommend getting down a list of things you wanted to get across in your poem having written it and cut out anything that doesn't say that, replace anything that doesn't say it well enough. Don't be afraid to end up with something entirely different. Don't be afraid of how long or short it is or that it doesn't rhyme. Just make it true.

[Pendragon]

I dunno, I kind of liked it. And the picture you posted really says more than the poem...

[ur_shadow89]

Thank you for your comments, guys.

Selkies - Thanks for your advice, i'll consider it next time.

Pendragon - Im a fan of your poems. Im glad you've liked it. Yup, picture speaks a thousand words.

[selkies]

Selkies - Thanks for your advice, i'll consider it next time.

How about this time, will you consider editing it?