Dan Brown

[DanielBenoit]

Let's have fun.

As his new book hits Barnes and Nobles soon, destined to make millions, let's find some fun quotes by the master of awful prose, and his detractors. Here comes the carnage.


Driver: (while Robert is thinking about Vittoria Vetra) Did you mount her?


Leigh: (After being called to the kitchen by Remy) Sometimes I wonder who is serving whom? I'll be right there, Remy. Can I bring you anything when I come?

Remy: Only freedom from oppression, sir.


Robert: The keystone is well hidden.

Leigh: Extremely well hidden, I hope!

Robert: Actually that depends on how often you dust under your couch.


Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery. He lunged for the nearest painting he could see, a Caravaggio. Grabbing the gilded frame, the seventy-six-year-old man heaved the masterpiece toward himself until it tore from the wall and Saunière collapsed backward in a heap beneath the canvas.

A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move."

On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly.

Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.


Now for the critics

"Do not start me on 'The Da Vinci Code,' A novel so bad that it gives bad novels a bad name." - Salman Rushdie

"Complete loose stool-water" - Stephen Fry

"Intellectual equivalent of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese." - Stephen King(!)

"Dan Brown's best-selling primer on how not to write an English sentence." - A.O. Scott

"Unmitigated junk" - Anthony Lane

[Haunted]

*gasp* The Lost Symbol...soon to be found on Sept 15. Mark your calendar!

[JBI]

Dan Brown is a tricky one - I can't decide whether he is a genius in his own way, and knows what stupid uneducated people who don't know good books will buy, or whether he is just the luckiest mediocre writer of our generation.


All these mediocre best selling writers are often hard to negotiate - one cannot understand whether there is a particular genius, or whether it is all luck - Harry Potter, in a sense, can be called mostly luck, because I don't think its author had the vision of how best-selling she would be when writing it, but, with Brown, you have to give him credit for rehashing traditional mediocre texts into the newest creation - border line plagiarizing where necessary for coming up with a more idiotic version of The Celestine Prophecy, with worse prose and better sales.


I used to think that Brown was just a lucky Jacopo Belbo, but now I doubt he even takes himself seriously as a lunatic.

[Dark Muse]

Dan Brown is a tricky one - I can't decide whether he is a genius in his own way, and knows what stupid uneducated people who don't know good books will buy, or whether he is just the luckiest mediocre writer of our generation.

That is just a tad harsh. I read Dan Brown for the same reason I watch big bang action adventure movies with questionable acting and cliched catch lines. In their own right they entertain me for what they are.

In the same way not every movie I watch has to be some artsy sophisticated independent Academy Award winning film, not every book I read has to be a work of complete genius.

I read different kinds of books for different reasons. Sometimes I do like to be basely entertained and need a break from heavier reading.

[mona amon]

I don't know, I've read the Da Vinci Code and I got the feeling that he at least takes himself very seriously! Bad as it was, I didn't see a hint of self-irony anywhere.

As for the Harry potter books, I don't agree that they fall into the mediocre category at all. There are a lot of people who read challenging books, but who still like the HP books, and not just for entertainment. The same cannot be said of Dan Brown.

BTW, DanielBenoit, your post was very funny! :D

[Adagio]

I don't know, I've read the Da Vinci Code and I got the feeling that he at least takes himself very seriously! Bad as it was, I didn't see a hint of self-irony anywhere.

I completely agree, I too got the feeling he takes himself very seriously. I don't think he is some kind of genius that knows exactly what sells. I mean, even if that is the case and he is sitting in front of his computer screen typing away with a Dostoevskian grin saying 'ha, ha - These stupid fools are going to make me so rich' I still wouldn't call that 'genius'. He would remain a money driven literature-destroying mediocre writer.


As for the Harry potter books, I don't agree that they fall into the mediocre category at all. There are a lot of people who read challenging books, but who still like the HP books, and not just for entertainment. The same cannot be said of Dan Brown.

I agree with JBI when he said the writer's popularity was based on luck. However, to compare Rowling with Dan Brown is stupid. We must not forget that Rowling writes for children; Brown for adults. Alot of people on this site love to slate the Harry Potter series, and yes I agree the writing isn't amazing, but we're forgetting that the books are written for children who, by the looks of things, extremely enjoy the series. Let's leave their favourite writer alone. Dan Brown, on the other hand, writes for adults, receives way too much hype and has his arse kissed when, in general, he sucks.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Dan Brown is a tricky one - I can't decide whether he is a genius in his own way, and knows what stupid uneducated people who don't know good books will buy, or whether he is just the luckiest mediocre writer of our generation.


I'm going with the latter, in fact I'm sure of it.


I completely agree, I too got the feeling he takes himself very seriously. I don't think he is some kind of genius that knows exactly what sells. I mean, even if that is the case and he is sitting in front of his computer screen typing away with a Dostoevskian grin saying 'ha, ha - These stupid fools are going to make me so rich' I still wouldn't call that 'genius'. He would remain a money driven literature-destroying mediocre writer.


True, but in many ways though can you blame him for taking the millions? Would we all do the same?

[Adagio]

True, but in many ways though can you blame him for taking the millions? Would we all do the same?
We would. Although, If I cared about literature and art at all I would feel pretty awful that my contribution to it was some lame piece of pulp fiction that made millions.

I wonder what Dan Brown's favourite books are, or what 'inspires' him... that'd be interesting.

[prendrelemick]

My mum buys and reads Dan Brown. She says he's nearly as good as jeffrey Archer:lol:

[LitNetIsGreat]

We would. Although, If I cared about literature and art at all I would feel pretty awful that my contribution to it was some lame piece of pulp fiction that made millions.

I wonder what Dan Brown's favourite books are, or what 'inspires' him... that'd be interesting.

Yes, I would too. I would spend my time and money on tuition to try and learn how to write, so I could at least try to put out something of semi-quality to make up for the pain of my earlier novels. I would also take a lot of holidays and drink Belgian beer for breakfast. Perhaps he is inspired by Jeffery Archer? :lol:


My mum buys and reads Dan Brown. She says he's nearly as good as jeffrey Archer:lol:

I was going to add something else but I have forgotten, never mind.

[Niamh]

My two cents
Angels and Demons the movie, quite enjotable! Angels and Demons the Book, possibly the biggest pile of badly written crap i've ever attempted to read. Oh how it made me cringe.

[wessexgirl]

My mum buys and reads Dan Brown. She says he's nearly as good as jeffrey Archer:lol:

:lol: Jeffrey "I studied at Oxord" Archer! What a **** (insert your own insult) that man is. I used to work with someone who would *accidentally* (:D) drop-kick his literary attempts around the Library! I dread to think what he would do with Dan Brown!

[mal4mac]

I read different kinds of books for different reasons. Sometimes I do like to be basely entertained and need a break from heavier reading.

But there are many entertaining, easy, 'action adventures' from good authors! Two examples:

Treasure Island by R.L. Stevenson
war of the Worlds by H.G. Wells

These works also happen to get universal acclaim from top critics, serious authors, and the man on the Clapham omnibus.

So why would one read works that get trashed by serious critics and serious authors? After reading one or two such works, to get direct knowledge of trash, surely continuing to read them just becomes a wallowing in degrading fashion for the sake of degradation & fashion, and a sign of one's own degradation and fashion-hog habits.

I haven't read all of Stevenson's work yet. So why on Earth would I read Dan Brown?

There are some truly great novels which are easy reads & 'action adventure' all the way:

The Cossacks and Hadji Murad by Tolstoy (and that longer one...)
Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens (The boy's all action!)

I haven't (quite) read all of Dickens & Tolstoy yet, and anyway, surely it's better re-reading these authors than reading Brown!

Anyway, quotes on Brown were asked for:

“If I show up at your house in ten years from now ... and find nothing on your bedroom night table but the newest Dan Brown novel ... I’ll chase you to the end of your driveway, screaming, ‘Where are your books? Why are you living on the intellectual equivalent of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese?’ ”,
- Stephen King, commencement address to graduates at the University of Maine,

"King referred to his own work as “the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and large fries”, which makes this a unique case of the burger calling the macaroni cheese junk." - Andrew Collins
-------------
The Da Vinci Code is:

“...a novel so bad that it gives bad novels a bad name” - Salman Rushdie

“...the literary equivalent of painting by numbers, by an artist who can’t even stay within the lines”. - "John Humphrys

“...450 pages of irritatingly gripping tosh” - Mark Lawson

“...loose-stool water” - Stephen Fry
--------

“I don’t see how the storytelling could outweigh the bad writing. Even Alistair MacLean will occasionally use a metaphor correctly. There is nothing of any value in Dan Brown; it’s like notes towards a screenplay. Any creative writing teacher will say, show, don’t tell. But Brown will use a phrase like ‘the frightened man’, which tells you that he’s frightened but doesn’t show it.” - Stewart Lee

“I was talking to Ann Widdecombe about this, and she said, ‘I think it’s good if people are reading anything’. I don’t agree. I think reading Dan Brown is like being spoon-fed until your tastebuds are destroyed.” - Stewart Lee

[LitNetIsGreat]

OK, I wasn't going to lower myself, but this is some of my favourite Brown, all from chapter 3 of The Da V*n*i C*de, I think I have quoted it before sorry, but here it is (my italics throughout):


The crisp April air whipped through the open window of the Citroen ZX as it skimmed south past the Opera House and crossed Place Vendome.


The Citroen navigated the chaos with authority, its dissonant two-tone siren parting the traffic like a knife.


As the Citroen accelerated southward across the city, the illuminated profile of the Eiffel Tower appeared, shooting skyward in the distance to the right.


When they reached the intersection at the Rue de Rivolie, the traffic light was red, but the Citroen didn't slow.


The Citroen[/I] swerved left now, angling west down the park's central boulevard. Curling around a circular pond, the driver cut across desolate avenue out into a wide quadrangle beyond.


The driver ignored the signs prohibiting auto traffic on the plaza, revved the engine, and gunned the Citroen up over the curb.

There is just no excuse for that.

Edit: I agree with you Mac there are plenty of "easy reading" novels out there that are of vastly superior quality, surely life is too short for reading the likes of Brown. I wonder if Brown's biggest market comprises of people who don't read that often, and consequently know no better? Just a thought.

[Adagio]

But there are many entertaining, easy, 'action adventures' from good authors! Two examples:

Treasure Island by R.L. Stevenson
war of the Worlds by H.G. Wells

These works also happen to get universal acclaim from top critics, serious authors, and the man on the Clapham omnibus.

So why would one read works that get trashed by serious critics and serious authors? After reading one or two such works, to get direct knowledge of trash, surely continuing to read them just becomes a wallowing in degrading fashion for the sake of degradation & fashion, and a sign of one's own degradation and fashion-hog habits.

I haven't read all of Stevenson's work yet. So why on Earth would I read Dan Brown?

There are some truly great novels which are easy reads & 'action adventure' all the way:

The Cossacks and Hadji Murad by Tolstoy (and that longer one...)
Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens (The boy's all action!)

I haven't (quite) read all of Dickens & Tolstoy yet, and anyway, surely it's better re-reading these authors than reading Brown!
Dickens can, at times, be pretty heavy as can Tolstoy. However, there (this is obviously directed at Dark Muse too) are plenty of contemporary texts which are extremely accessible and a joy to read. Take Cormac McCarthy for instance - great writing, exciting plots and easy reading. Even books like The Time Traveler's Wife have heart and a brilliant plot. Okay fair enough, Niffenegger's writing cannot be placed up there with Dickens and Tolstoy but it completely overshadows Brown's writing. Using Brown as a breathable break from heavy literature seems a little absurd. There are plenty of brilliant, entertaining and light books out there, Brown doesn't fall under any of those categories - he is not light; he is cringe. Cringe, at least for me, has always been painful reading.

[mal4mac]

Dickens can, at times, be pretty heavy as can Tolstoy. However, there ... are plenty of contemporary texts which are extremely accessible and a joy to read. Take Cormac McCarthy for instance - great writing, exciting plots and easy reading...

I've only read "Blood Meridian" by Cormac McCarthy. It's a great novel, but hardly easy reading! Maybe you mean other works of his?

I don't think "The Cossacks" or "Nicholas Nickleby" are that heavy, but heavier than Wells & Stevenson!

Editors are often at fault for not doing the small amount of work to make such works instantly readable by anyone. For instance, translating the snippets of French in Tolstoy, and providing a labelled diagram of a sailing ship for Treasure Island! (In the copy I read the map of the Island was so small that I couldn't read the words on it! Really bad job.)

Good point on there being better contemporary writers though. I like Ian McEwan, there's plenty of street action in "Saturday"! And he's a very straightforward read.

I think literary types need to think very carefully about recommendations, if they are to get people interested in "real literature". I've stopped reading several literary authors in my "moving from sf to real literature" phase, and since. (E.g. Proust, Joyce, Cervantes, Ishiguro...). The first three authors are often heralded as "the greatest novelists ever" in tabloid-style literary journalism. But the demands of these authors are too great for someone brought up on a diet of popular fiction & carefully selected school texts. If they try the "greatest novelists" and, as is likely, crash & burn, they are likely to avoid "literature", from then on, and pick up Dan Brown instead...

[Adagio]

I think literary types need to think very carefully about recommendations, if they are to get people interested in "real literature". I've stopped reading several literary authors in my "moving from sf to real literature" phase, and since. (E.g. Proust, Joyce, Cervantes, Ishiguro...). The first three authors are often heralded as "the greatest novelists ever" in tabloid-style literary journalism. But the demands of these authors are too great for someone brought up on a diet of popular fiction & carefully selected school texts. If they try the "greatest novelists" and, as is likely, crash & burn, they are likely to avoid "literature", from then on, and pick up Dan Brown instead...
I agree. I know alot of people who read popular fiction like Dan Brown who are almost, in a sense, scared to pick up any piece of literature that has a classic status. I don't know where the preconception of real literature to be boring or hard work comes from. Perhaps an awful study of the book at school, but still, I don't think that it's likely. Perhaps you're right in saying that people attempt the harder works (Joyce, Proust etc.) first.

Reading popular fiction implies that the person enjoys reading. It's a shame that the reader remains indifferent to broadening their minds and outlook by picking up a piece of writing of a higher quality. I couldn't imagine turning twenty - I turn in two weeks, how exciting - let alone going through my entire life without reading the classics. Some people I've met didn't know who wrote Crime and Punishment, or Jane Eyre, yet they know who wrote Angels and Demons. I feel there is something frightening in that.

[Kafka's Crow]

I think ONLY Dan Brown knows to feed people what most can unsderstand and stomach. He knows how to sound intelligent to the stupid and to make the stupid feel intelligent by talking about things that everybody knows but the knowledge of which makes every individual feel important and unique. Talk about a Rennaisance man, every Tom, Dick and Harriet would start mouthing Leonardo's name, talk about an art museum, they would not know about the National Portrait Gallery in next street but they would know the name of Louvre, conspiracy theory, "Yeah you don't believe it but I know, mate, these Masons are dodgy people". Corruption- the Catholic Church. Ancient city with historical locations: Rome. Feed them what they already know a bit about, massage their egoes, write books like you are writing in the infamous British tabloid press. They will be sold like the Sun, the crappiest, and at the same time, the biggest selling newspaper in Great Britain.

[LitNetIsGreat]

I think ONLY Dan Brown knows to feed people what most can unsderstand and stomach. He knows how to sound intelligent to the stupid and to make the stupid feel intelligent by talking about things that everybody knows but the knowledge of which makes every individual feel important and unique. Talk about a Rennaisance man, every Tom, Dick and Harriet would start mouthing Leonardo's name, talk about an art museum, they would not know about the National Portrait Gallery in next street but they would know the name of Louvre, conspiracy theory, "Yeah you don't believe it but I know, mate, these Masons are dodgy people". Corruption- the Catholic Church. Ancient city with historical locations: Rome. Feed them what they already know a bit about, massage their egoes, write books like you are writing in the infamous British tabloid press. They will be sold like the Sun, the crappiest, and at the same time, the biggest selling newspaper in Great Britain.

Yes I think that is a good point. You can see it happening in chapter 3 with the looming Louvre and the dark shadow of the Eiffel tower or whatever nonsense, he peppers them in all over. Though maybe you give Brown too much credit, perhaps he does think he is being "cultured" by mentioning these most obscure landmarks, but you are spot on in comparing it to The Sun, trash meets trash.

The mention of "conspiracy theory" is something I think I was going to say earlier, call something a conspiracy theory enough times and many people will fall over themselves to buy into it. I don't know why, perhaps to add a bit of intrigue into their lives, a little bit of excitement, but it seems to do the trick nevertheless.

But then again, all those people can't be wrong? Can they?

[Three Sparrows]

I just finished Angels and Demons last night, and I have to say, I was not impressed. It read like a cheap, predictable thriller. I saw the Da Vinci Code movie, and I have to say, while I read A+D, I was having flash backs. I mean, come on! The plot was almost identical!
Brown knows how to hold a reader, but that's all.
If Brown saw his books the way I do, he would be doing this right now.:crash:

[mystery_spell]

Dan Brown's books are always a good, quick read. Maybe I'll get his new book. :)

[Hank Stamper]

But then again, all those people can't be wrong? Can they?

you only have to look at the number of people who voted in the recent local elections compared to the number of people who voted in britain's got (no) talent to see just how saturated with idiots the general populace is :crash:

ps. just about finished Bel-Ami.. :thumbs_up

[PeterL]

I have never read anything by Mr Brown, but I will give him credit for turning out some books that are popular, which is not an easy thing to do.

[mal4mac]

I agree. I know alot of people who read popular fiction like Dan Brown who are almost, in a sense, scared to pick up any piece of literature that has a classic status. I don't know where the preconception of real literature to be boring or hard work comes from. Perhaps an awful study of the book at school, but still, I don't think that it's likely. Perhaps you're right in saying that people attempt the harder works (Joyce, Proust etc.) first.


When I was doing my physics degree i used to read popular philosophy (Bryan Magee, Bertrand Russell,...) for relaxation, seldom fiction. I was bored with science fiction, and ran into some serious hurdles in serious fiction. I'd read that Joyce & Proust were the best modern fiction writers. Tried them. Ran away! I did get round to reading Some Lawrence and Dickens eventually, and my interest started to revive.


It's a shame that the reader remains indifferent to broadening their minds and outlook by picking up a piece of writing of a higher quality.

You shouldn't just hold the reader to account, a culture that promotes Dan Brown instead of other authors is very much to blame. People are kidded into thinking they are broadening their minds because his books are associated with a genius (da Vinci) and they are about the RC church, secret societies, and what have you. It all seems quite broadening, when it is really just pap.

We are all easily dragged in. For instance, I was edged into reading Pullman because of the media conning me into thinking it was "serious stuff", an atheists manifesto, an attack on organised religion, inspired by Milton etc... instead of what it is, ... a very dreary kids book.

[DanielBenoit]

OK, I wasn't going to lower myself, but this is some of my favourite Brown, all from chapter 3 of The Da V*n*i C*de, I think I have quoted it before sorry, but here it is (my italics throughout):

Quote:
The crisp April air whipped through the open window of the Citroen ZX as it skimmed south past the Opera House and crossed Place Vendome.

Quote:
The Citroen navigated the chaos with authority, its dissonant two-tone siren parting the traffic like a knife.

Quote:
As the Citroen accelerated southward across the city, the illuminated profile of the Eiffel Tower appeared, shooting skyward in the distance to the right.

Quote:
When they reached the intersection at the Rue de Rivolie, the traffic light was red, but the Citroen didn't slow.

Quote:
The Citroen[/I] swerved left now, angling west down the park's central boulevard. Curling around a circular pond, the driver cut across desolate avenue out into a wide quadrangle beyond.

Quote:
The driver ignored the signs prohibiting auto traffic on the plaza, revved the engine, and gunned the Citroen up over the curb.


There is just no excuse for that.

Edit: I agree with you Mac there are plenty of "easy reading" novels out there that are of vastly superior quality, surely life is too short for reading the likes of Brown. I wonder if Brown's biggest market comprises of people who don't read that often, and consequently know no better? Just a thought.

lol

I had to read that first quote five times to understand what was going on.

[prendrelemick]

My turn.

For my birthday my mum gave me a carrier bag of her old books. Including two Dan Browns. I swear I have just opened one at random.

Earth," he whispered, tilting his head to see the symbol upside down. "Earth."
Then in his horror he had one final cognition. There are three more.

[LitNetIsGreat]

I have never read anything by Mr Brown, but I will give him credit for turning out some books that are popular, which is not an easy thing to do.

The credit is duly misplaced, it is all luck, he is one of the luckiest writers around today in my opinion, besides it doesn't take much skill to be popular does it? One only has to sleep in a room called Big Brother and your become an instant :bday_2:CELEBRITY:bday_2: don't you?


lol

I had to read that first quote five times to understand what was going on.

:lol: Yes, (also please correct me if I am wrong but shouldn't "past" be "passed" as in moving passed something? (I don't know English was never my strongest point.) It was a Citroen by the way...


My turn.

For my birthday my mum gave me a carrier bag of her old books. Including two Dan Browns. I swear I have just opened one at random.

Earth," he whispered, tilting his head to see the symbol upside down. "Earth."
Then in his horror he had one final cognition. There are three more.

Yes, that is the beauty of Brown, flick at random and the joy is all there, I was also going to say that earlier until I had a blackout. :idea:


you only have to look at the number of people who voted in the recent local elections compared to the number of people who voted in britain's got (no) talent to see just how saturated with idiots the general populace is :crash:


ps. just about finished Bel-Ami.. :thumbs_up

Yes, unfortunately Britain is surrounded by Sun readers, the poor brainwashed citizens of our unfortunate society.

Bel Ami - oh, excellent I'll ask you about it.


I just finished Angels and Demons last night, and I have to say, I was not impressed. It read like a cheap, predictable thriller. I saw the Da Vinci Code movie, and I have to say, while I read A+D, I was having flash backs. I mean, come on! The plot was almost identical!

But what do you expect, stay clear of the fiend.

(Sorry to quote a lot as if it is my thread, but Brown is a passion of mine. He is my hero.) :p

[JBI]

Quote:
The Citroen navigated the chaos with authority, its dissonant two-tone siren parting the traffic like a knife.


I think that is the worst simile I have ever read - the sentence isn't even a real sentence - I mean, lets be honest, who does he think he is kidding with that - it's too bad to even put in writing.

The metaphor at the beginning doesn't seam that much better either.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Yes isn't it just so much fun? I love the "curling around a circular pond" bit too. I can just envision this little Citroen spinning around on two side wheels frantically trying to get to the Louvre to meet a Symbologist[?] like Herbie the magic car or something, frantically avoiding a startled duck.

[mal4mac]

Supposedly Dan Brown is Oxfam's biggest seller. Get down there! Buy his books! Stick them in the recycling bin. Save Oxfam's good name!

[WICKES]

I don't know, I've read the Da Vinci Code and I got the feeling that he at least takes himself very seriously! Bad as it was, I didn't see a hint of self-irony anywhere.

As for the Harry potter books, I don't agree that they fall into the mediocre category at all. There are a lot of people who read challenging books, but who still like the HP books, and not just for entertainment. The same cannot be said of Dan Brown.

I quite agree. Anything the great Stephen Fry has bothered to read aloud for hours on end must have some redeeming qualities.

[Hank Stamper]

Supposedly Dan Brown is Oxfam's biggest seller. Get down there! Buy his books! Stick them in the recycling bin. Save Oxfam's good name!

Yes apparently Dan Brown is the author people are least likely to keep in their book collection

As an aside, there is some debate about Oxfam selling books - they are now opening specialist Oxfam book stores in towns that already have established and decent second-hand and independent book stores and pretty much putting them out of business by undercutting them and taking advantage of the lower business rates incurred due to their charity status etc ...

raising money for charity is one thing, but aggressively putting other shops out of business is quite another... one expects it of those evil supermarket chains, but not of a supposedly philanthropic organisation

article is here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/aug/04/oxfam-shops-booksellers

[bluosean]

Since this thred is on Dan Brown, the advertisements at the top of the page are for the Da Vinci Code. Kinda funny since most of yall are bashing him. I have never read him so cant say. The quotes were pretty bad though.

[prendrelemick]

Yes apparently Dan Brown is the author people are least likely to keep in their book collection



So thats why my mum passed them on to me.

Also in my birthday carrier bag full of books was a Michael Conelly (good) and a James Patterson (terrible so far)

Having these best sellers, and seeing the slick marketing they represent, makes me think some people on here are a bit harsh on the book buying public. Go to ASDA (Wallmart) look at the shelves.
The books are arranged according to the best seller list, 1 to 20. So powerful is the supermarket's selling power that the list follows the shelves as much as the shelves follow the list. It is a self affirming symbiotic system.

To get anything else (apart from B-list celeb auto-biographies) takes effort, you have to seek them out.

[mal4mac]

There is some debate about Oxfam selling books - they are now opening specialist Oxfam book stores in towns that already have established and decent second-hand and independent book stores and pretty much putting them out of business by undercutting them and taking advantage of the lower business rates incurred due to their charity status etc ... raising money for charity is one thing, but aggressively putting other shops out of business is quite another... one expects it of those evil supermarket chains, but not of a supposedly philanthropic organisation.

I used to sell my unwanted books to second hand booksellers, thinking they were nice people doing a good job. But, when I took off the rose tinted spectacles, the pitiful rates offered began to disgust me. I stopped doing it when I took in a forty pound textbook and they offered me a quid! I now sell books on amazon at rates that seriously undercut secondhand book sellers to, hopefully, help put them out of business. Or I give them to the library. I'd give them to charity but there isn't a charity shop in my town - I'd rather see my books going to help starving third world children than spivs...

[kasie]

Yes apparently Dan Brown is the author people are least likely to keep in their book collection

As an aside, there is some debate about Oxfam selling books - they are now opening specialist Oxfam book stores in towns that already have established and decent second-hand and independent book stores and pretty much putting them out of business by undercutting them and taking advantage of the lower business rates incurred due to their charity status etc ...

raising money for charity is one thing, but aggressively putting other shops out of business is quite another... one expects it of those evil supermarket chains, but not of a supposedly philanthropic organisation

article is here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/aug/04/oxfam-shops-booksellers

I wonder if Oxfam realised this would happen?

I took all my late husband's engineering books to Oxfam - there is no second-hand bookshop round here that would take them and I didn't like to think of their just being pulped: at least some engineeering student with access to an Oxfam specialist bookshop might have the chance of a bargain find.

[LitNetIsGreat]

I quite agree. Anything the great Stephen Fry has bothered to read aloud for hours on end must have some redeeming qualities.

Yes the money he gets paid for doing it.

I really like Fry but he certainly grabs the money, every third advertisement voice over seems to be Fry. I was on his website a while back, which is itself mostly a vehicle to sell his books and recordings, and he had a notice telling people to buy more of his T-shirts, I'm sure it was T-shirts, he was saying that if he didn't make more money from the website he would have to shut it down as it wasn't covering the costs of running it, I mean come on how tight is that?

[Hank Stamper]

I used to sell my unwanted books to second hand booksellers, thinking they were nice people doing a good job. But, when I took off the rose tinted spectacles, the pitiful rates offered began to disgust me. I stopped doing it when I took in a forty pound textbook and they offered me a quid! I now sell books on amazon at rates that seriously undercut secondhand book sellers to, hopefully, help put them out of business. Or I give them to the library. I'd give them to charity but there isn't a charity shop in my town - I'd rather see my books going to help starving third world children than spivs...

fair dos.. ive got nothing against oxfam selling books in their normal shops but i think opening specialist book stores and deliberately squeezing out any competition is not the kind of thing you expect from a charity organisation..


I wonder if Oxfam realised this would happen?

I took all my late husband's engineering books to Oxfam - there is no second-hand bookshop round here that would take them and I didn't like to think of their just being pulped: at least some engineeering student with access to an Oxfam specialist bookshop might have the chance of a bargain find.

yep i totally agree as in my post above - donating books to charity shops is definitely a good thing to do, my uneasiness is with the opening of specialist book stores in towns where a market already exists and then undercutting the competition to put them out of business.. just not very nice behaviour is it really? even if the end motives are for the greater good

But back to Dan Brown...

[prendrelemick]

Because of this thread I have begun to read one of the Dan Browns my mum gave me.
The Guy is incredible, he has an unerring instinct to choose le mot juste not quite

[underthepink]

My two cents
Angels and Demons the movie, quite enjotable! Angels and Demons the Book, possibly the biggest pile of badly written crap i've ever attempted to read. Oh how it made me cringe.

Angels and Demons the movie was the most hilarious comedy I have ever seen. Ewan Macgregors accent is a bizarre mix of Irish-English-Scottish and Godknowswhat. And the storyline is fabulous, though that is Brown's fault. Antimatter hidden under the Vatican? Perhaps Brown is a genius, I've seen comedians who can't come up with stuff that funny.

[RaoulDuke]

"Complete loose stool-water" - Stephen Fry

You missed the best part of this quote! The full quote, from an episode of QI is:

"Complete loose stool-water. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind."

With regards to Dan Brown, he does what he does well. If poorly written escapist fiction is what makes him a wad of cash then good luck to him. Any acrimony you feel towards his success should be directed not at him but the society that rewards talent in the inane arts so vehemently. I say the same to people who lambast Premiership footballers and the generic dance/RnB artists that seem to dominate the charts.

[Propter W.]

"Beyond the gathering storm clouds, a twin-rotor transport helicopter arched in low, hugging the glacial peaks with military dexterity."

[Dodo25]

I think the translators improved it a lot, I read some of his books in German and they weren't that bad. At least not as terrible as the quotations here. I suppose that's one of these few times where the translated version is better.

[Patrick_Bateman]

I would have thought 'Dan brown' would have been taboo here.

*sigh*

[LitNetIsGreat]

I would have thought 'Dan brown' would have been taboo here.

*sigh*

He is...

[Alexander III]

I have read one of his books, I don't remember which, it wasn't good, but I don't think it was bad either. His plots don't appeal to me, but a lot of people find them entertaining, so credit must be given where its due, he knows how to tell a good story. Furthermore il admit his prose is, mediocre, but then again so is the prose of 99% of novels published, I don't think is is as bad as most people here make it out to be. I think due to his huge success it is hard to separate the mediocrity of the book, from the envy of most , at the wealth and fame he accumulated. He is a average writer, who makes a **** load of money, so what ? cant we just be happy for him.

Ridicoulating him to such a vast extent, has almost become a culture, I mean if you read good literature you must laugh at him. Its a lot like one kid angry with another kid who is bigger than him, so the kid goes and punches another small kid for no reason.

Besides the irony ok King saying Brown writes trash...I mean... I don't think i could find an existing irony which surpasses that, in the literary world.

[Dodo25]

I reposted the quotes from Neely that are examples of Brown's awful prose, and now I'll re-translate the German version back into English, as literally as possible. I'm curious whether the translators have improved the text:


"The crisp April air whipped through the open window of the Citroen ZX as it skimmed south past the Opera House and crossed Place Vendome."

The crisp air of April wheezed through the open side-window into the Citroen ZX, which, with Robert Langdon on the front seat was dashing in southern direction, past the Opera House and then across Place Vendome [...]


"The Citroen navigated the chaos with authority, its dissonant two-tone siren parting the traffic like a knife."

The Citroen drove with high speed through the crush, which was being parted by the piercing two-tone siren like butter under a hot knife.


"As the Citroen accelerated southward across the city, the illuminated profile of the Eiffel Tower appeared, shooting skyward in the distance to the right."

As the Citroen was dashing southward through the city, the 'skyrocketing' (no better translation available, yet the German sounds misplaced as well) profile of the illuminated Eiffel Tower appeared to the right.


"When they reached the intersection at the Rue de Rivolie, the traffic light was red, but the Citroen didn't slow."

At the intersection Rue de Riviolie, the traffic light switched to red, but the Citroen didn't slow at all.


"The Citroen swerved left now, angling west down the park's central boulevard. Curling around a circular pond, the driver cut across desolate avenue out into a wide quadrangle beyond."

The Citroen turned left in the park's central boulevard. After the driver had curved around a big pond and had crossed a wide, deserted avenue, he steered the car out into an ample rectangular place.


"The driver ignored the signs prohibiting auto traffic on the plaza, revved the engine, and gunned the Citroen up over the curb."

Ignoring a big sign that prohibits all sorts of cars, the driver accelerated and chased the Citroen over the curb onto the grand plaza.


The German sounds much better than the English. The second sentence for instance has been completely rephrased. Some of the words still sound weird though (and of course it sounds weird now since it was translated literally by an amateur. Yet to be honest, I don't think my re-translation is worse than the original haha).