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qimissung
08-27-2009, 07:08 PM
The clock stands still
except for the ticking
the morning, noon, twilight
and night of it
move as languidly as I
our daily burden momentarily
lifted,
like a hand pressed to a wound
healed, the blood flows, unimpeded,
downhill and up
we are warm and alive
a reflection in summer's
affectionate eye

Qimissung

Buh4Bee
08-27-2009, 08:03 PM
I love it! I wish summer would last forever.

PrinceMyshkin
08-27-2009, 08:11 PM
The clock stands still
except for the ticking
the morning, noon, twilight
and night of it
move as languidly as I
our daily burden momentarily
lifted,
like a hand pressed to a wound
healed, the blood flows, unimpeded,
downhill and up
we are warm and alive
a reflection in summer's
affectionate eye

Qimissung

Not so minor, friend, it has the flow of natural speech addressed to a trusted and loving friend.

~Sophia~
08-28-2009, 02:04 AM
Qimy!... could it be that you are in love... lovely


our daily burden momentarily
lifted,
like a hand pressed to a wound
healed, the blood flows, unimpeded,

nothing heals like love!

Pendragon
08-28-2009, 08:17 AM
A momentous poem, Qimi!

firefangled
08-28-2009, 08:54 AM
This is wonderful the way you have conveyed so much of the intangible using such physical elements in almost every line. I like the wound simile.

qimissung
08-29-2009, 12:09 AM
Thank you, my trusted and loving friends. :)