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jikan myshkin
08-25-2009, 03:04 PM
How do you say goodbye to a stranger?

How do you say goodbye
To someone you never really knew
Joined by blood
And the few fleeting memories
That haunt for a moment,
Then drift away.
Your mind has gone
And you are a child again
Your face shows no recognition
Of those that you love
Or who would like to think
That you once loved
You are wrapped up in blankets
When the nights are cold
The nurse says the end may be
Only a few days away
Whatever happened to you?
Did you love us at all?
Were you always so selfish?
Am I like you?
Arm distance is safer
There is no connection in the mind
Damocles will soon take you
Away from this world
I’ll see where you are laid
But will I truly care?
Will there be tears never seen before?
Is all that is good and gentle
In the world left to rot?
Were you good and gentle?
Did the world do this to you?
Do you even care that we lament so pathetically?
You. Who was the only one
About whom you ever cared
Hearts breaking in two,
We all look good in suits
Awkward social interaction
I don’t belong here
Coughing slightly from the uneasiness
And partly from the smoking filling the air
That is gone like the dust
As body returns to the ether
Can I join you?
This is a tribute to you,
Whom the angels weep for
This is a tribute to you,
One I never really knew
There are no words that I can say
My pen moves in its idle uncertainty and habit
There are no words that I can say
In tribute to you
But you, who are now a child again
You, who never left the childish desires
You who needed help
But never knew how to ask
You, who are a child again
I see no fear in your eyes
For children fear nothing
From the day that they are born
Until the day that they die

qimissung
08-26-2009, 06:30 PM
Rather haunting.

firefangled
08-27-2009, 10:29 AM
What a punch! This came directly out of your center.

I don't know how studied the repetition was as you wrote, but I applaud its placement either way. There are poems that write the poet. This is one.

In some cases they write the reader as well.

The last three lines...

Pendragon
08-27-2009, 11:26 AM
Whoa! This one is truly a vision of the heart, I can totally feel this one!

~Sophia~
08-28-2009, 02:10 AM
Do we ever really "know" anyone? I think the "fade" tells all.


Were you good and gentle?
Did the world do this to you?
Do you even care that we lament so pathetically?
You.

We only lament what we know, what we know is never enough. I love this jikan!

jikan myshkin
08-28-2009, 05:16 PM
What a punch! This came directly out of your center.

I don't know how studied the repetition was as you wrote,


it wasn't studied, it was me hiding in the toilet at work trying to get it into my notebook before it started to look suspicious. i thought that the repitition made it seem clunkly and broke its flow but thank you for your words, it shows how little i know of studied form ;)

thank you everyone else for your words also, it means a great deal. it is a very personal piece. i recoved some bad news and i wasn't sure how to take it- as shown in the text. so thank you *doths cap*

firefangled
08-28-2009, 06:35 PM
I understand what you are saying...it is the echo in a tiled room that accounts for the repetition. :D

jikan myshkin
08-29-2009, 01:49 PM
I understand what you are saying...it is the echo in a tiled room that accounts for the repetition. :D

tiled room? you've not seen my work's toilet! tiles would be a luxery...!:lol:

hoope
08-29-2009, 07:08 PM
Wow... nyc poem.. and so saaaaad .. so personal
The questioning leaves us thinking and i like that form