Sing Sorrow

[Pendragon]

Sing Sorrow

I was thinking today about suicide,
I’m so tired of fighting with my life—
Would it make any difference if I died,
Except to my children and my precious wife…
Have I made my mark, taken my place
Will anyone remember me for who I am—
Will I leave a sudden void in the blackness of space
Or just be a statistic in life’s cold traffic jam—
Can I lift myself up, find hope in the stars
Look to the sun and see something worth striving for—
Baby, we don’t have that much, but at least it is ours
Do I really want just to step though Death’s door…
Trouble and pain are just vapors of life—
Reach out your soft hand and hang on to me, wife…

Pendragon
© Tuesday, August 25, 2009

[PrinceMyshkin]

That surprising turnaround of a last line is truly heart-rending! Even before I got to it, though, I was preparing my answer to the albeit rhetorical questions, which would have been: if you can present these questions with so much energy, then the implicit answer is No, you are not ready to die!

[qimissung]

There is a lot of pain in this, but underneath it all there remains a current of desire to live...and being alive is always worth it to the ones you love.

[Pendragon]

Thank you both.

Prince, I think the writing down of my thoughts is sometimes all that keeps me from the pit...

And Qimi, as I once wrote, "You don't know hurt until you've gone beyond pain"...

[PrinceMyshkin]

Prince, I think the writing down of my thoughts is sometimes all that keeps me from the pit...

It's an interesting (or blessed?) paradox, isn't it, that contemplation of the abyss can motivate one to try to create something moving, defiant or beautiful. Might it be true of individuals, as Tolstoy pronounced re families that happy ones are all alike; unhappy [individuals] are each unhappy in their own way.?

[AuntShecky]

Quite resonant and touching.

[firefangled]

Quite a pouring out of despair and hope as they often present themselves.

[Pendragon]

Thank you, Auntie and Fire!

[Left Field]

That was great, Pendragon. Very well written.

[toni]

Heart-wrenching, sad and beautiful all at the same time. I am moved by this poem, Uncle Pen. :'(