I'm.Only.Human
08-23-2009, 08:40 AM
So, I've started to write poetry in July. I have only 4, from which 1 is disgusting.:redface:
I'll post only the other 3 and I want sincere critiques, please!
Once upon a time
Once upon a time
A little boy was born
And no one could know
That he is so sublime.
After a short time
He showed us why
God blessed him
With such a strong vim.
Gifted with a boundless heart
He proved to everyone
What could impart
And that he's the one.
His heavenly voice
Delights the souls
And stimulate us
To make the choice.
Never stopped to spread
The most important lesson:
We must go ahead
No matter what there happens.
He received hate
And radiate love.
He find bait
And give faith.
His angelical face
Is destined for history
'Cause he wrote the story
Of a man with glory.
Finally he won the battle
And demonstrated that is the man
No one could defeat his power
To bring together all the fans.
Once upon a time
He had courage to climb
And became the king
Of the music's wings.
Gone.Dead.Broken.
You were the sun that warmed me
But now I`m freezing.
You were the moon that shook my feelings around
But now they`re not in me anymore.
You were the wind that held me
But now I`m discovered.
You were the flower that melted me
But now I`m like a stone.
You were my world, my heart, my soul.
But now they all are gone,
Are dead,
Are broken.
Like the teardrops fading on my cold cheek
Like the life draining out of me.
Everything`s gone
And I feel I`m not living anymore.
Angel
Yesterday you were here
Singing, dancing and laughing.
The most brightly star,
The most purest man.
You always knew how to make us vibrating,
How to gather together the black and white,
How to love the life,
How to love everything’s around us,
How to gave love even if we receive hate.
You taught us the life is worth living
And our dreams are all we need.
You made the world a better place
For you,
For us,
For our children,
For God’s creations.
Never understood,
For ever good.
Today you left at the angels
`Cause they need you more than we do.
You will always live in the depth of our soul
Through your music, your dance and your great heart.
I hope is better on the other side
At the Neverland in the skies.
Now you will forever sing for God,
Your first love.
But I still can’t say goodbye…
I'll post only the other 3 and I want sincere critiques, please!
Once upon a time
Once upon a time
A little boy was born
And no one could know
That he is so sublime.
After a short time
He showed us why
God blessed him
With such a strong vim.
Gifted with a boundless heart
He proved to everyone
What could impart
And that he's the one.
His heavenly voice
Delights the souls
And stimulate us
To make the choice.
Never stopped to spread
The most important lesson:
We must go ahead
No matter what there happens.
He received hate
And radiate love.
He find bait
And give faith.
His angelical face
Is destined for history
'Cause he wrote the story
Of a man with glory.
Finally he won the battle
And demonstrated that is the man
No one could defeat his power
To bring together all the fans.
Once upon a time
He had courage to climb
And became the king
Of the music's wings.
Gone.Dead.Broken.
You were the sun that warmed me
But now I`m freezing.
You were the moon that shook my feelings around
But now they`re not in me anymore.
You were the wind that held me
But now I`m discovered.
You were the flower that melted me
But now I`m like a stone.
You were my world, my heart, my soul.
But now they all are gone,
Are dead,
Are broken.
Like the teardrops fading on my cold cheek
Like the life draining out of me.
Everything`s gone
And I feel I`m not living anymore.
Angel
Yesterday you were here
Singing, dancing and laughing.
The most brightly star,
The most purest man.
You always knew how to make us vibrating,
How to gather together the black and white,
How to love the life,
How to love everything’s around us,
How to gave love even if we receive hate.
You taught us the life is worth living
And our dreams are all we need.
You made the world a better place
For you,
For us,
For our children,
For God’s creations.
Never understood,
For ever good.
Today you left at the angels
`Cause they need you more than we do.
You will always live in the depth of our soul
Through your music, your dance and your great heart.
I hope is better on the other side
At the Neverland in the skies.
Now you will forever sing for God,
Your first love.
But I still can’t say goodbye…