If a person you loved/respected held a belief you hated, what would you do?

[kelby_lake]

What would you do?

[grotto]

Need more information. What sort of belief do they hold that you hate? Hate is a pretty strong emotion so I would imagine it must be something big.

[blazeofglory]

What would you do?

Of course I try to reverse her belief.

[Nightshade]

You accept them of course, else you dont either really love them or respect them. Beliefs are a critical part of who a person is, so yes I might not agree with something they belive but if I really HATE it all that much then I can't really love or respect them and then I just drift away. Trying to change a person is IMHO always a bad bad BAD idea.
People nly change because they want to. Nothing else will do it.

[Lynne50]

Of course I try to reverse her belief.

I don't think that's possible, unless the person wasn't really sure of their position in the first place. By trying to reverse the belief, you will probably end up losing the friendship and neither of you will have benefited. Maybe it would be better to explain to the person, that a certain belief is tearing their friendship apart and ask them how can they can resolve it. Maybe you can find common ground, but if that's not possible, then to keep your integrity, you may have to distance yourself from that person.
If you truly value the love/friendship you will find a way.

[kelby_lake]

This is hypothetical...

What if a worker respected his boss, until he found out that the boss was having an affair with a female worker? This would be a clash of beliefs as the boss believes it's an okay thing to do.

[The Atheist]

This is hypothetical...

What if a worker respected his boss, until he found out that the boss was having an affair with a female worker? This would be a clash of beliefs as the boss believes it's an okay thing to do.

That's not quite true. Most married men who have affairs realise that it's wrong and do it anyway.

[grotto]

In that case, except that he is human snd/or else look in the mirror and except your own gullibility in your need to hold on to projected illusions.

Love and respect has nothing to do with people living up to your standard. Get used to disappointment, people will always let you down when you put them on a pedestal.

[MarkBastable]

That's not quite true. Most married men who have affairs realise that it's wrong and do it anyway.


Why assume he's married? Is it the use of the word 'affair' - because I'd use the word of any short relationship.

However, to address the question - even if he were married, I think my attitude, if pushed, would be it's none of my goddam business.

[billl]

I think it would be best for a manager to avoid an affair in the workplace (married or not). Would it be easy for him to promote the worker he was having an affair with? Might other workers be able to gain such job security by providing sexual services? Only the lucky ones?

I've been in this situation a couple of times (once, the boss was married, and the woman was clearly just a mistress; the other time the boss was attempting--not always succeeding--to seduce different workers), and it had a negative effect on the workplace each time.

Maybe the boss could still be fair regarding all work-related matters, and maybe all of the employees would view the situation as fair and well-handled by the boss. But I think, if it's "true love", a responsible manager would try to get their lover out of the workplace and into another job (unless it's a family business or something like that). And if it's just sex, then I think it would be quite likely for there to be negative effects.

If it'll help get the thread back on track (after an example that took off on its own a little bit) :

If a person you loved/respected held a belief you hated, what would you do?

-----I wouldn't pretend to agree with them.
-----I might argue the "opposite side" if they were being unfair about something, because of their belief (e.g. not hiring someone because of their spiritual views).
-----I would maybe do some other things to counter them regarding belief-based choices, or just to make it clear that I don't think they are smart/wise to believe it.

But mostly, as long as they weren't hurting anyone (incl. annoying others with preaching, pressuring with indirect "digs", etc.) I would let them be and avoid the issue.

[The Atheist]

Why assume he's married? Is it the use of the word 'affair' - because I'd use the word of any short relationship.

Yep, that's it. I've never seen it used outside of someone cheating. Usually it's just called a "relationship".

[MarkBastable]

Yep, that's it. I've never seen it used outside of someone cheating. Usually it's just called a "relationship".


In my experience, they're much more fun if you call them 'affairs'.


I had a short relationship with my sister's Avon lady.


Dull.

I had an affair with my sister's Avon lady.


Exciting.

[kelby_lake]

:)

Who says that the woman isn't married in the example? Does it count as an affair if the other person's married but you aren't?

An affair, for me, would basically be a brief fling carried out in secret.

[hoope]

Hate is a big emotion to carry for someone, as said above..

when we love someone we try hard to make that person feel it , and so is when we respect someone ; it do show in our actions.......
How can someone hate u when u love or respct him that depends on what they heard from you maybe someone said something wrong about u .. or maybe they saw some thing they didn't like.... However , we try hard to change that image by beign honest with them and telling them what you really feel regardless of what might happen coz then u may choose to break such relation . No one can love someone that hates him , so i believe i would be so true to her my feeling and then let the rest go away, It depends on her .


And about the boss thing , i guess sometimes ppl whom we think are great aren't so..
If we do care about your boss and youthin he's a great person then there must be an exuse for his actions... sometimes we are the ones who try to find these excuse for them to just not hate them.
And if he is not really a good man .. then he probably don't deserve that respect but yet during work we should respect eachother and forget about our mistakes that might really ruin the work .

[kelby_lake]

The topic of a play I'm writing is about a male worker whose fears about women (yes, I know he's wrong) workers were 'confirmed' when he realises the boss he respects has being having a fling with a new female worker.

I suppose in some cases love is blind, even though the truth is blatant to all around you.

[hoope]

The topic of a play I'm writing is about a male worker whose fears about women (yes, I know he's wrong) workers were 'confirmed' when he realises the boss he respects has being having a fling with a new female worker.

I suppose in some cases love is blind, even though the truth is blatant to all around you.

so i believe u would like to conclude from this that people aren't perfect and that women are not to fear of .. We are very soft & Lovely :redface: but at the same time we hate to be betrayed nor lied to then i guess we become so evil :mad:.. that is when he hates them.. but only i would suggest to look at the whole thing from the view of this sick man who fears women , let him narrate his story and let him realize and figure out whats wrong !!!

Hope that can help your play :-)

[kelby_lake]

It's basically about the cut-throat world of business. The three characters each have a very stereotypical, almost naive, view of business, and by the end two of them become more realistic.

[Maryd.]

I have a very special friend, we are not romantically involved, but he is a very strange fellow to some people, with certain odd values in life. I am a little reserved and don't agree on the same values, however I still keep in contact with him and will always love him as a close friend of 36 yrs.

[kelby_lake]

I have friends who are a bit eccentric :)

[NisreenS]

We shouldn't let beliefs destroy love. If they let me keep my own beliefs, I will let them keep theirs.

[NisreenS]

if there is real love. we will not see differences even if they do exist.you will like everything about a person you love even if you do not belive in.

[Lacra]

I don't know exactlly what would I do now( at my mature years) if I would face such a situation. When was I was very young I lived this dilema. We were both Christians but I was Orthodox and he was neo-protestant. We couldn't overcome the religious gap, even if , after all, we were both Christians.We end -up by studying Theology( he studied his belief and me, mine) in order to become religious leaders. Our universities were nearby...sometimes we met... but we never lived our love story.

[JuniperWoolf]

There's nothing more important to me than my morality, which I value far more than romantic love (love for a family member is different, I'd have to think about that one). If my hypothetical partner held a belief that I actually hated deep down to my core (say he was a misogynist, or a homophobe), then I probably wouldn't love him anymore; or if I did still love him for some irrational reason despite my disgust, I'd grit my teeth and dump him anyway.

[OrphanPip]

It would have to be a pretty fundamentally objectionable idea for me to break ties with someone. I wouldn't be able to associate with someone anymore if it turned out they were a violent bigot. However, I put up with a lot of wacky Christian ideas from my parents.

[Hurricane]

I have really close friends who have drastically different beliefs than I do. For example, I'm politically moderate and consider myself an atheist, my college roommate is extremely conservative and very religious, as are many of my good friends. So far, (~2 years) we haven't killed each other yet.
We either debate it civilly and talk about it while keeping in good humor, or just don't talk about it (like in the case of my roommate, since she's pretty unbending). If we're talking about it and someone makes what I know is a factually wrong statement, I'll correct them, but otherwise I mostly try to respect their worldviews as long as they respect mine and anything else is just in good fun.

[AimusSage]

I would pity the fool, speaking in MR. T's terms, but I would still respect them, depending on their belief. I will still challenge them and if they are strong enough in their conviction they will stick to it, if not, well, I Pity the fool!