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mazHur
08-15-2009, 09:38 PM
This Splint of a Broken Star
by mazHur

Who knew that the children of God
were wont to disagree on everything,
except that which their senses could perceive;
anything that was materially evident and tangible,
everything that bowed to the Almighty Dollar,
all things that brought comfort to them
and misery for others;
who knew, to say the least,
that this splint of a broken star
would become a mint star
over time and try to outshine God;
who knew that they in their oblivion
would forget their Lord's blessings
and underestimate His Creation,
His Infinite Capabilities, His Treasures
holding Infinite multitude of such mint stars
which make his children proud in the follies;
let me be clear, this world won't become a paradise
even with the most arrogant works of God's children;
they will not be able to discover secrets of God,
their eyes lacking the soulful shine and sight
to behold the science of heart and mind together.
A heart without soul is like a dead fish;
you may eat it to satiate your carnal hunger,
but you cannot see it swim
creating waves
in the deeper oceans of your life soul.

qimissung
08-16-2009, 04:22 PM
That's deep mazHur, and so very true. I especially love the last eight lines.

Pendragon
08-17-2009, 10:26 AM
One heck of a beautiful wrap-up stanza!

A heart without soul is like a dead fish;
you may eat it to satiate your carnal hunger,
but you cannot see it swim
creating waves
in the deeper oceans of your life soul.

Love this one, Maz

PrinceMyshkin
08-17-2009, 10:39 AM
This Splint of a Broken Star
by mazHur

Who knew that the children of God
were wont to disagree on everything,
except that which their senses could perceive;
anything that was materially evident and tangible,
everything that bowed to the Almighty Dollar,
all things that brought comfort to them
and misery for others;
who knew, to say the least,
that this splint of a broken star
would become a mint star
over time and try to outshine God;
who knew that they in their oblivion
would forget their Lord's blessings
and underestimate His Creation,
His Infinite Capabilities, His Treasures
holding Infinite multitude of such mint stars
which make his children proud in the follies;
let me be clear, this world won't become a paradise
even with the most arrogant works of God's children;
they will not be able to discover secrets of God,
their eyes lacking the soulful shine and sight
to behold the science of heart and mind together.
A heart without soul is like a dead fish;
you may eat it to satiate your carnal hunger,
but you cannot see it swim
creating waves
in the deeper oceans of your life soul.







What a depth of thought and caring went into this! It is so powerful and impassioned. I especially loved the analogy of the heart without soul and the dead fish!

Without, I hope, offending against your own faith, I have been working on a poem that begins



God, when He is bored,
creates a universe
with one or two flaws
to keep it interesting

mazHur
08-18-2009, 04:26 PM
What a depth of thought and caring went into this! It is so powerful and impassioned. I especially loved the analogy of the heart without soul and the dead fish!

Without, I hope, offending against your own faith, I have been working on a poem that begins



God, when He is bored,
creates a universe
with one or two flaws
to keep it interesting
Thank you all, I sincerely appreciated your comments.

Prince: this is nice but not universal fact as the Universe is already there...

God, when He is bored,
creates a universe
with one or two flaws
to keep it interesting


May I suggest


God, when He is bored,
twirls the universe
with one or two turns
to keep it interesting