Leera
08-10-2009, 08:46 AM
I wanted to tell her. Tell her I still loved her. Tell her I wanted to try again. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, embrace the cold raind that poured down upon us, under the same umbrella. The sadness, the sorrow glowed brightly in her hazel eyes, as I told her there was no going back. «Go home, Sarah.» I said to her, fighting furiously to hold back the tears, the pain that twisted in my heart, longing to be released. I got ahold of myself, forcing the pain behind the barriers of my cold heart, embracing it, becoming one with it. «I love you, Alex.» She replied, her sad face covered in water, her long, blonde hair soaked in rain. «I'll walk you to the buss depot.» As I turned away from her, slowly stepping through the water, a single, warm tear trickled down my cheek, slowly making its journey downwards, eventually joining with the mass of cold water.
As we walked, me in front, her a mere foot behind me, I wanted to turn, to hug her, hold her in my arms under the shining moonlight, letting the rain cover us, letting the cold breeze tickle us gently as we stood, not affected by time as we expressed our undying love to one another. I could hear the echoes of her soft footsteps through the heavy noise of rain as we walked, slowly making our way through the night. I heard a soft sob behind me, and finally, my icy heart burst into a thousand pieces, and I allowed the tears to cover my face, to roll down my cheeks, leaving a dozen of small, wet trails down my face. Stopping but not turning, I let the pain overwhelm me, let the sorrow take me into its embrace, slowly choking me, tormenting me, tempting me with the love I knew I could not have. The small wooden shack that served as a busdepot appeared in front of us, it as well covered in the rain that haunted this night. «Can we...walk for a while? In the park maybe? Please. I promise I will go home right after that.» Sarah pleaded inbetween her sobs. Finally, I turned, facing my love, the greatest joy this life ever gave me, but also my greatest fear, my worst nigthmare. I looked into her green eyes, losing myself in the depths of them, letting her suck me into her soul. I watched her pleading look, her sorrowfull expression, mixed with hope. «Okay. For a while.» She said nothing, but the look in her eyes changed. Her hazel eyes cheered up, a smile, charming smile spread over her soft lips. This time, we walked side by side, her arm dangling close to mine. I yearned, I longed to reach out and grab it, to pull her close to me, hold her, tell her it would all be okay. Tell her everything would be fine. But I couldn't. Because nothing was going to be okay.
As we walked through the narrow archway that led into the park, memories streamed into my head, torturing me with the happies moments of my life.
Happy, cheerish laughted reverberated through the park, as they both stood, scribing something on one of the trees. Sarah leaned over, put her hands around his chest, kissing his ear as she laughed.
«See?» she whispered softly into his ear. «If we had written it with a pen, the rain would have washed it away! Now, it will be there forever. And whenever we are sad, we can come here, to be reminded of our love. To know, that we will always love each other.» Alex returned her smile, twisting his arms around her slim waist, pulling her closer, and as she locked her hands behind his neck, he kissed her, pressing his mouth against hers, parting her lips with his tongue, exploring her soft mouth as he gently moved his hands up her back, moaning as he did so. When they finally parted, they sat down, close togheter, their backs resting against the huge tree, the scribing of words right above their heads. Twinning their hands together, Sarah rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment as they sat close together. «Do you think we'll always be together?» She asked. «Always.» Alex gripped her hand tighter. «I'll always love you, for as long as I live.»
«Alex?» The voice ripped me out of my thougths, and I found myself standing by the tree, my fingers touching the aged, but not faded words that we had written what seemed an eternity ago.
«I... eh, was just thinking.»I replied.
«What happened to us Alex? You said we'd always love each other... And I do love you.»
«Stop it Sarah. It wouldn't work.» Was what I said, but I wanted to tell her I still loved her, more than I ever did before. I wanted to take her hands, look into her eyes and tell her that I never stopped loving her. «Lets go back to the bus depot.» I said, giving one last look to the words on the tree.
«Alex and Sarah was here, pledging their eternal love to each other. As long as the sun shines, so shall their love shine twice as much.» The rain kept pouring down, drowning us in a sea of cold water. Splashing onto the us, our faces were filled with a mix of tears and water. «I don't understand, Alex. Where did we go wrong?» I could hear the longing, the sorrow, the pleading in her voice, and I longed more than ever, to spin around, take her hands, drop to my knees and ask her to marry me. But I couldn't bear the thought of breaking her heart. I had little time left, and if I made her happy now, she would be twice as broken when I left again to never return.
«We were young, Sarah.. and foolish. You should have learned by now, nothing lasts forever.» The constant splashing of water nearly covered the sound of her sob. Nearly. The worst thing I ever knew, was the sound of her cries, the sorrowfull expression that haunted her face. I turned for a second, just before the bus depot, and for a moment, I found myself staring into her deep, abyss-like green eyes, and I saw the pain, the sorrow that resided in the never ending depths of her hazel soul windows. Her slender hands dangled less than a feet from mine, and I longed to grab them, to tell her it would all be okay. But It wouldn't.
«The bus should be her in five minutes.» I said after a quick look at my watch. «If its about me, I'll change!» She erupted in a last plead, a last try for redemption, to regain her lost love. «You must move on, Sarah, find someone else... Someone who can give you what I cannot.» She shook her head furiously, and even through the heavy rain, I could see her tears slowly rolling down her face. «No! You are the only one I ever loved, and the only one I ever will love.»
«The bus is here.» Was all I said, even though I wanted to tell her what my heart told me to say. That I love her. That I want to spend the rest of my days with her. But I knew that would not be long. As she entered the bus, she sat down near a window, staring out at me through the rain covered thick windows. She touched the window with her palm, and my heart again shattered into a thousand pieces, and for a second, I allowed myself to be human. I slowly lifted my hand, and put it atop of hers, the only thing separating my hand from her soft flesh, was the rain, the thick window. I looked after her as the bus drove away, and I realized how much I truly loved her. I dropped to my knees, crying into the rain, screaming, cursing the world for its cruelty, shouting her name as I cried intensely.
As we walked, me in front, her a mere foot behind me, I wanted to turn, to hug her, hold her in my arms under the shining moonlight, letting the rain cover us, letting the cold breeze tickle us gently as we stood, not affected by time as we expressed our undying love to one another. I could hear the echoes of her soft footsteps through the heavy noise of rain as we walked, slowly making our way through the night. I heard a soft sob behind me, and finally, my icy heart burst into a thousand pieces, and I allowed the tears to cover my face, to roll down my cheeks, leaving a dozen of small, wet trails down my face. Stopping but not turning, I let the pain overwhelm me, let the sorrow take me into its embrace, slowly choking me, tormenting me, tempting me with the love I knew I could not have. The small wooden shack that served as a busdepot appeared in front of us, it as well covered in the rain that haunted this night. «Can we...walk for a while? In the park maybe? Please. I promise I will go home right after that.» Sarah pleaded inbetween her sobs. Finally, I turned, facing my love, the greatest joy this life ever gave me, but also my greatest fear, my worst nigthmare. I looked into her green eyes, losing myself in the depths of them, letting her suck me into her soul. I watched her pleading look, her sorrowfull expression, mixed with hope. «Okay. For a while.» She said nothing, but the look in her eyes changed. Her hazel eyes cheered up, a smile, charming smile spread over her soft lips. This time, we walked side by side, her arm dangling close to mine. I yearned, I longed to reach out and grab it, to pull her close to me, hold her, tell her it would all be okay. Tell her everything would be fine. But I couldn't. Because nothing was going to be okay.
As we walked through the narrow archway that led into the park, memories streamed into my head, torturing me with the happies moments of my life.
Happy, cheerish laughted reverberated through the park, as they both stood, scribing something on one of the trees. Sarah leaned over, put her hands around his chest, kissing his ear as she laughed.
«See?» she whispered softly into his ear. «If we had written it with a pen, the rain would have washed it away! Now, it will be there forever. And whenever we are sad, we can come here, to be reminded of our love. To know, that we will always love each other.» Alex returned her smile, twisting his arms around her slim waist, pulling her closer, and as she locked her hands behind his neck, he kissed her, pressing his mouth against hers, parting her lips with his tongue, exploring her soft mouth as he gently moved his hands up her back, moaning as he did so. When they finally parted, they sat down, close togheter, their backs resting against the huge tree, the scribing of words right above their heads. Twinning their hands together, Sarah rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment as they sat close together. «Do you think we'll always be together?» She asked. «Always.» Alex gripped her hand tighter. «I'll always love you, for as long as I live.»
«Alex?» The voice ripped me out of my thougths, and I found myself standing by the tree, my fingers touching the aged, but not faded words that we had written what seemed an eternity ago.
«I... eh, was just thinking.»I replied.
«What happened to us Alex? You said we'd always love each other... And I do love you.»
«Stop it Sarah. It wouldn't work.» Was what I said, but I wanted to tell her I still loved her, more than I ever did before. I wanted to take her hands, look into her eyes and tell her that I never stopped loving her. «Lets go back to the bus depot.» I said, giving one last look to the words on the tree.
«Alex and Sarah was here, pledging their eternal love to each other. As long as the sun shines, so shall their love shine twice as much.» The rain kept pouring down, drowning us in a sea of cold water. Splashing onto the us, our faces were filled with a mix of tears and water. «I don't understand, Alex. Where did we go wrong?» I could hear the longing, the sorrow, the pleading in her voice, and I longed more than ever, to spin around, take her hands, drop to my knees and ask her to marry me. But I couldn't bear the thought of breaking her heart. I had little time left, and if I made her happy now, she would be twice as broken when I left again to never return.
«We were young, Sarah.. and foolish. You should have learned by now, nothing lasts forever.» The constant splashing of water nearly covered the sound of her sob. Nearly. The worst thing I ever knew, was the sound of her cries, the sorrowfull expression that haunted her face. I turned for a second, just before the bus depot, and for a moment, I found myself staring into her deep, abyss-like green eyes, and I saw the pain, the sorrow that resided in the never ending depths of her hazel soul windows. Her slender hands dangled less than a feet from mine, and I longed to grab them, to tell her it would all be okay. But It wouldn't.
«The bus should be her in five minutes.» I said after a quick look at my watch. «If its about me, I'll change!» She erupted in a last plead, a last try for redemption, to regain her lost love. «You must move on, Sarah, find someone else... Someone who can give you what I cannot.» She shook her head furiously, and even through the heavy rain, I could see her tears slowly rolling down her face. «No! You are the only one I ever loved, and the only one I ever will love.»
«The bus is here.» Was all I said, even though I wanted to tell her what my heart told me to say. That I love her. That I want to spend the rest of my days with her. But I knew that would not be long. As she entered the bus, she sat down near a window, staring out at me through the rain covered thick windows. She touched the window with her palm, and my heart again shattered into a thousand pieces, and for a second, I allowed myself to be human. I slowly lifted my hand, and put it atop of hers, the only thing separating my hand from her soft flesh, was the rain, the thick window. I looked after her as the bus drove away, and I realized how much I truly loved her. I dropped to my knees, crying into the rain, screaming, cursing the world for its cruelty, shouting her name as I cried intensely.