Does anyone ever miss a specific period of this forum?

[ajoe]

No offense, y'all are great people, but for some reason I keep thinking that I like this forum most about last year. Maybe it's because I was most active last year and knew the people who hanged around then really well (e.g. emily, simon, fool, vbd, etc.). I stopped coming here for a while, and when I came back there were all new faces and I just felt like I didn't belong here anymore. As I come here more frequently, I begin to get to know everyone. Still, I feel like I'm never going to know everyone as well as I used to those people.

There's also another forum I go to. I really enjoyed going there once upon a time, but after I left for a while, the forum was flooded with completely new faces except for a couple or so. There are still discussions going on, but I feel like I'm not quite a part of them anymore.

Anyway, does anyone ever feel like this? Is it weird to feel sad when the "friendships" with people you've met only over the internet start decaying? When a forum "friend" disappears, do you actually feel like you've lost a friend in your "real-life" (or maybe I'm just the one with not-so-many real-life friends so I care about my forum friends so much)? Ever have the urge to send your lost forum friends an e-mail? Or, for that matter, ever wish you'd met a forum friend so you could get in touch forever?

[/sentimental]

[ihrocks]

Of course I miss the days of sloegin and Abdorinbo, before things got troublesome and there was some general ugliness, but there's a good group here these days too, and among them maybe there is a friend waiting to be discovered.

Maybe I'm weird (ok...no maybe about it), but yes, I've met friends from the web, everything from just a casual get together to spending real time with each other. But the people I've become close friends with over the internet would be my close friends whether we'd met face-to-face or not. I think the people I've become chums with on the web are some of the closest friends I've ever had because of two things. First, we are friends because of the common interests we have -- not because we went to the same school or worked at the same office. I think friendships based on shared interests are stronger than those based on simple proximity. Second, an internet friendship must be worked at. Writing back and forth takes time, especially when there are distances, time zones, and work schedules to consider.

And yes, it's sad when an internet chum fades away. In fact, at another forum I frequent, one of our members recently passed away. We are a close-knit group there and it was very sad. Over there, being an older group, we been through divorces, marriages, and becoming grandparents, but this was our first real and forever loss. It was very strange.

[Koa]

I was thinking about this exactly today... not much about this forum cos these days it's the one I visit more regularly, of the maybe 5 or 6 I'm registered to (you know, I didnt have a life but have many interests...). Well I was thinking that I dont enjoy the internet anymore as much as I used to, especially thinking about the chatroom which got me addicted to the damn net and some people I met from there and how it actually affected my life...
I was thinking of this forum last year as well, emily came to my mind, but in general there were more new people contributing a lot... Now it's always the same people and it gets like we are a sort of very 'close' group... I mean it's not bad, just different.
There have been times when I've been away and felt like I didnt belong much to here anymore...but habit is hard to die and I kept coming back and now I settled down again.

I like what ihrocks said, about internet friends... I've often wondered why I got so addicted to getting to know people this way, which by many people I know in real life is considered like something crazy that weirdos do, or at least that was the general idea when I first fell into this habit some years ago...now I feel it's getting more common to be into internet communities, but still I tend to hide to real life friends the fact that this is a big hobby to me and the reason why my English is better than most people's etc etc...
The answers I gave to me is what ihrocks said: people I met this way are people I met through a common interest, and people who responded to me in written forms... there are people I met in Hungary I know I'll never see again and would probably never reply to my emails with more than 4 words, if they ever reply (I know cos I tried) and I know that's life, it's not even too wrong. So why shouldnt I feel something for people who write me and listen to me even if I've never seen them? I admit it is just easier to be deep with people you dont see, but still I somehow became more open also in real life applying the same attitude I use in the net, just being friendly and not too shy. But it's sometimes hard to explain this to some people...

[subterranean]

I don't know Ajoe, IMO if you have a little problem coping up with new folks, then why don't you start your own forum, which strictly said "not a public forum" or "restricted membership". It's hard to prevent noobs coming in online public forum, and not to mention you feel that they've taken over the forum which you and your close friends used to "dominate. You'd probably experience same problem everytime you join a public forum. Some people might get along easier with new members than the rest (take Jay for example).Maybe you just need more time to get to know the "new" ones better and vice versa. You obviously loves to read or games, so you're already in the right forum.
And all those feelings about internet friends are already said finely by Koa and Ihrocks.


Of course I miss the days of sloegin and Abdorinbo

Unfortunetly, Abdo doesn't fit in with the rules apply here. Though we like him (personally I really like him) and we probably wished that he compromised a little to avoid himself banned.

[ajoe]

Dude, you totally missed the point.

Ah well, whatever.

[subterranean]

Well if I'm not mistaken, this is the second time you openly stated your complaints about the situation in this forum, so yea.. I am missing your point...

[ihrocks]

I think there's a lesson to be learned here:

Never leave your computer for a moment until the technology exists to have internet access surgically implanted in your brain. That way, you never have to let the rest of your life get in the way of enjoying your favorite forum. :D

[ajoe]

Well if I'm not mistaken, this is the second time you openly stated your complaints about the situation in this forum, so yea.. I am missing your point...

Complaining? How is my post this time a complaint? Sheesh. :rolleyes:

Oh well, I can't help it when pompous and ignorant-yet-assuming people like you make this world a ****hole.

[Snukes]

Eh hem... I don't mean to step into the middle of an argument, but I thought maybe I'd try to say something about the original question.

Hello. My name is Snukes. I'm a new-to-youbie. That means I can't say much about the Good Old Days at the Lit Forum, but I do know what you're talking about, Ajoe.

I've been in different sorts of internet communities as long as I've been online (er... should be about ten years now?) and I can say for certain that there's something different - something a little bit special about the first group of people you hang out with in any one place. Those groups of people are the reasons you *become* so active in a place to begin with, and after that, if you stay active of your own momentum, eventually the character of a place will evolve. So it goes. Sometimes it's good, sometimes you wish it hadn't.

Deciding that you've outgrown a place (or it has outgrown you) is a rotten decision to have to make. I suppose it's more normal just to fade out than to actively make a decision to leave, but it can feel a bit like the end of an era. (Some historian somewhere is rolling over in his grave for that...)

Anyway. I don't suppose I'm really making a point. I ramble a lot. I keep a soapbox in my back pocket solely for that purpose. :) I would say, however, that despite having not been around before, I was happy to see you come back. When I first started posting here last winter, I remember thinking that you had started a lot of the threads I found really interesting. And (call me shallow) I am totally fascinated by the word "fob" above your picture. :)

I see no complaints in this thread. Just a bit of cyber-nostalgia. We all have our days...

[Scheherazade]

I think it is wonderful that one cares about online-friends as much as the people s/he knows in real life. And I agree with most of what has been said above; it is always sad to lose contact with a friend;whether in real life or on the net.

However, please remember to keep your discussion within the Forum Rules and common courtesy.

[Logos]

Nothing wrong with being sentimental ajoe ;) and I don't see it as `complaining' at all.

These forums have morphed and changed and grown over the past year and likely will continue to do so as Admin makes changes and tweaks things to be more user friendly and the word gets around more and more that this is a great site for reading material and discussion forums.

[amuse]

I like what ihrocks said, about internet friends...
the power of words amazes me - that we can develop strong friendships on the basis of a mere 26 letters and a few emoticons.

i'll have to read your whole post later, but can say this definitively - my life won't be complete 'til i've met ihrocks and jay F2F.

and i would love to meet mono and psyche, scher, vbm, faye, and koa, too.

[ihrocks]

can say this definitively - my life won't be complete 'til i've met ihrocks and jay F2F.

Your life might be more than complete -- it might be over! Do you think the fabric of the universe would survive such a meeting of the minds? :D

[mono]

I do not think I have existed long enough to miss or wish for a certain period of the forum, as opposed to some of the veterans of The Literature Network. Truly, some members, for better or worse, have come and disappeared, some of whom I miss, others (very few - no names need mention) I do not regret their absence. I very much enjoy the usual crowd of the forum: Scher, Jay, subterranean, amuse, Helga, baddad, Koa, Stanislaw, ajoe, papayahed, Basil, Miss Darcy, Logos, Bong, Isagel. Additionally, I greatly enjoy all of the relatively new members, and have no complaints; most of the more disagreeable people have sifted themselves away.
Some people, I do wish would visit more often, such as Isagel, Stanislaw (most recently), and I often miss those who periodically disappear, usually due to traveling, like Koa and baddad, but c'est la vie. :)

[Basil]

Snukes, Snukes, bo Bukes
Bonana fanna fo Fukes
Fee fy mo Mukes
SNUKES!!

[Basil]

And the Plural Person; he who is they; whose name is an anagram of ale stein

[Isagel]

Anyway, does anyone ever feel like this? Is it weird to feel sad when the "friendships" with people you've met only over the internet start decaying? When a forum "friend" disappears, do you actually feel like you've lost a friend in your "real-life" (or maybe I'm just the one with not-so-many real-life friends so I care about my forum friends so much)? Ever have the urge to send your lost forum friends an e-mail? Or, for that matter, ever wish you'd met a forum friend so you could get in touch forever?

[/sentimental]

I do not think it´s weird. Why should we not be able to appreciate people this way as well? If we can like books and poetry, why not like people because of what they write. I do not know if any of you are really the people you say you are, but that does not make my feeling any less real - it does not make this way of communicating less real. All I do in my life is real living. This is reality to, these friendships are real friendships too - or at least have the possibility to be as real as the ones were I meet people.

I miss Sindhu sometimes.

I did send an email to alost member once, to Amuse when she took all her poetry away from the forum. I (and others - she was missed) nagged until she came back. I used to write on another forum as well, but somehow the whole forum disappeared , because of a webworm. I really miss some of the people there, especially one who wrote poetry I liked very much. Now I have found his blog, but I haven´t dared to write a message for him. I do not want him to think I am a stalker.

....

Ok- so I stalked a bit. I mean I found his blog. :blush: . But he sent the adress to my mailbox on the old forum so perhaps it does not really count?

...


I only wanted to read the poetry again.
Please tell me I am not a stalker.

[amuse]

you, dearest Isagel, are not a stalker: you are an aficionado.

lovingly, amuse.

:)

[Jay]

Agreed, not a stalker :)

[Bongitybongbong]

I miss when I was new and Sub and Stan were the top posters and that era.

[ihrocks]

I miss when I was new and Sub and Stan were the top posters and that era.

They are both still in the Lit. Forums Top Ten Posters of All Time Hall of Fame.

Nowhere near Jay, though -- reigning queen of 3,700+ posts! :p

[Bongitybongbong]

Yeah Jay's the best poster, but I really liked the era I jonied in.

[Koa]

I do not think it´s weird. Why should we not be able to appreciate people this way as well? If we can like books and poetry, why not like people because of what they write. I do not know if any of you are really the people you say you are, but that does not make my feeling any less real - it does not make this way of communicating less real. All I do in my life is real living. This is reality to, these friendships are real friendships too - or at least have the possibility to be as real as the ones were I meet people.



This is wonderfully said. I wish that people who don't have internet-chatting/foruming as a hobby understood that and stopped judging... Like this was not real... I'm not talking to a computer, behind it there are real people who write things, and most of them are people who just want to share something, not only hidden serial killers....(btw I wrote a poem about it in the early days of my interent addiction...would add it here if it wasnt too long and me lazy and tired)
A story that pi**ed me off a lot: a couple of years ago it was on the news that a girl had been killed. And since this girl used to visit a chatroom, all the suspects got on her internet life, and for 2 days the medias were talking, subtly but clearly, about how dangerous can this be and blah blah blah... Typically, it turned out that the killer was her jealous boyfriend... But for a few days it felt like every internet-addict was some kind of unsociable monster with psychological problems threatening to become dangerous...

Isagel, you're definitely not a stalker...I'd do the same to find a lost internet friend, all the way. After all, if someone puts something up in the net he/she is conscious that it can get more or less public, and it wont be seen only by those for whom it was intended for, but virtually by anyone passing by...(which gives me the creeps sometimes). So what's wrong in looking for it...