1 vs. Eighty-Four

[wagravity]

She may be jealous of the life I had
She doesn't know that I envy hers as well
I had it easy, now I lack ambition
While she's determined to get out of that town

She'll never know how proud I am
She'll never know that she's my inspiration
I thought I had it all once before
Until she showed me all that I was missing

I've got a plan to settle the score
To do all I can just to provide for her
She's the one, I know she thinks she needs me
But has no clue that it's the other way around

I hope she believes in all the plans we've made
And in my promise to never leave her
We'll flip our lives to have the things we want
Now I know that Eighty-Four can't keep her







-Eighty-Four is a town in PA

[PrinceMyshkin]

It's a sincere delclaration, one that appears to come straight from your heart, but it falls short, for me, of any of the melody or images I expect from poetry. It's very literal.

[wagravity]

thank you for the comment, you are right tho, it is lacking the perfect things in poetry, it's more lyrical than poetic i guess. i'll do better on my next.

[blazeofglory]

This is really a marvelous poem

[dara.cv]

I can really appreciate this. I have alot of friend's who sing and they are always asking me to write them songs. When I attempt and come up with a product it is always to poetic to be effective in a song. I think this truly speaks to the heart and many could hear these words and grasp its emotion, just as with poetry you read the words and comprehend the meaning (albeit eventually) there.

I just love the content too, love is always appealing.

[Delta40]

I think it has a certain charm - as if the sentiment is contained within the accerlerant fumes of the car as it attempts to leave the place in which you refer